Sunday, 29 June 2008

Pride

Happy Canada Day long weekend!

I'm relaxing.

See you mid-week

-ish.

Saturday, 28 June 2008

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time


Hey.

So do you know what's really awkward?

It's when you tell your good-looking co-worker that he was in your dream last night and man oh man is he ever going to be in trouble with his girlfriend.

Because you know what happens then? Well, if you're me, you spend the rest of the day feeling awkward around him because you just admitted to smooching him in your dreams. Ha... um... ha?

So, how about the weather.....?

Friday, 27 June 2008

What More Is There To Say, Really?

It's Friday.

That is all.

Thursday, 26 June 2008

On The To Do List


So, forever ago, I went on an awesome vacation.

And when I went, I kept something between a diary and notes of my days, my adventures, my thoughts and impressions of the country; a country I'd always wanted to visit.

My plan was to come back and write out everything I did so that I'd have a permanent memory of it. I didn't exactly know where I'd write it out, but the notebook's been sitting on my kitchen table for a few months now, waiting for me.

Seeing as I'm trying to de-clutter my place, I need to get rid of the notebook. And the best way to do that without losing the memories is to write it out. And, I may as well write it out here.

I'm writing this post so that I have the incentive to sit myself down and remember how I felt before it gets too far away and faded. I may not get the same details down here as I would if I were writing just for myself; some things are private and just between me and my travelling companions, but I'm going to try, in the next little while to start telling some of the stories.

It's officially on the To-Do list.

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Am I The Only One This Happens To?

Ok, do you know what else is really weird? It seems like a lot lately, when I turn off the lights to go to sleep, ideas for posts pop into my head.

And I always tell myself I'm too sleepy and it's too late and if I get out of bed and fire up the laptop and do some writing I'll never get back to sleepy state. And I always promise myself that I'll remember in the morning.

And sometimes I do remember the thought, but then I forget it again because I'm at work or whatnot and then when I sit down to write my mind goes blankity blank blank.

Which is kind of frustrating because I know I had something to say, I just can't remember, what the heck it was.

(Yeah, I know, I should/could keep a pad of paper beside my bed.)

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

Twice a Year


One of my many strange mind things (and, yes, apparently this week is "let the world into my brain" week) is a difficulty remembering which month we're in.

March is the first time it happens and all through the month I talk to people about it being May and they look at me funny.

*Now* is the second time it happens: I spend most of this month thinking we're in July (even writing it on cheques this weekend for Pete's sake) and then when August comes I can't figure out what happened to July because didn't we just do it for two months in a row?

I know, I'm weird. I'm used to it.

Monday, 23 June 2008

I Know, But

It's been bugging me for a while and now I finally have to tell you guys.

It weirds me out when people go into the bathroom stalls at the gym naked.

*shudder*

Saturday, 21 June 2008

To All You Northern Hemisphere Dwellers:


I still have half an hour left to say it;





Happy first day of Summer!

If You Don't Choose You Won't Save the Planet!*

The world has had some major catastrophe and the aliens came down and zapped us with this weird beam that made junk food healthy.

But here's the catch, my friends.

For the rest of your life you can eat only three junk foods: one salty type, one chocolate type and one candy type. (The aliens have promised us we will be healthy and will not get sick of these foods, but that we must choose only one of each)

You have twenty four hours to decide or the alien beams will turn you into... um... something bad and yeah. Bad!

I will spend the rest of my life eating Sour Cream and Onion Ruffles, Family size Caramilks (although I may regret this decision) and regular Skittles.



*Yes, I was eating some of these items when I wrote the post, why do you ask?

Friday, 20 June 2008

K is for Karma


Karma.

I believe in it. I do.

I can't say I have the knowledge to explain what I understand it to be, but I do think karma works; however you want to put it:

What goes around, comes around.

Treat others how you want to be treated.

You reap what you sow.

You get what you give.

You've been bad to me woman, but it's coming back home to you.

Etc, etc.

We've all heard it. I think just some of us respect the idea of it more. I was going to say "use" more, but it's not really something you use. Or is it?

How do you see Karma? Do you believe in it? Do you try to follow it in some ways?

I find it a very comforting thought and I also find it a good guide for living. Am I putting stuff out there I'd want back? If not, then it's time to make changes.

I think I'm doing pretty well.

Thursday, 19 June 2008

Cat's Cradle

I don't know if I've talked about this before, so excuse me if I'm repeating myself.

I've often wondered why, but there are a few people that I see almost every time I go to the gym.

There's a woman and a man (that I think are married) who are in phenomenal shape. I usually see them at the same time, but have occasionally seen just the man.

There is also an older, very slim woman that I see.

On top of this, there are a few, maybe three or four more men that I see most times.

I haven't figured out why I keep seeing these people, because, sure, I go generally around the same time, but not always. Especially on the weekends; I might go at 11 one Saturday and 8 at night the next.

Which always leads me to wondering: are these people here a lot? Maybe they come a couple of times a day and I just happen to run into them during one of their times. Or, are we on some symbiotic schedule that we don't even know about.

I mean, it's one thing to run into the same people on the bus, right? You know you all have to get to work or school at a similar time and all, but this is different.

Maybe it's just that we're all regulars and have similar enough patterns that we cross paths occasionally and it just seems like "every time". I don't know.

I always just think it's cool.

We'd be the main characters in the tv sitcom of the gym, that's for sure.

And if it's like Cheers? I want to be Norm.

VICTORIA!!!!! (Mug of water slides down the counter towards me)

Heh.

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Gracefully


I had a very strange experience this weekend, one that's taken me a few days to process.

I was at a baby shower.

Not a thing I'm a fan of, and not my first, but that wasn't the odd part.

As I walked into the kitchen when I first arrived and looked around the room, it was the first time I've ever noticed that I'm older. That "we" are older.

Now, granted, most of the other women there were five (or sometimes ten) years older than me, but still. These women looked mature. Like they'd lived. They were all attractive, happy, well-dressed women, but it really struck me that we weren't nineteen anymore.

Not only that, we weren't anywhere near.

It was like entering a whole other world and not one I'm sure I want to have entered.

My peers are no longer the younger generation and it's an utterly disturbing realization.

We're nowhere near old, mind you, but we're not young anymore. And these women? With their babies and toddlers, or their two kids left at home with their husbands? Are no longer carefree.

It really shook me, looking around and seeing their faces and if you haven't gone through a similar experience? You will. It's odd.

House parties turn into dinner parties turn into wedding showers turn into baby showers turn into...... I don't know yet.

And I didn't just get my driver's license, even though it feels like it.

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Memories Revisited

I went to bed last night while it was still light out for the first time since I can't remember when.

(Yes, I was that tired. And, yes, I slept through the whole night.)

I remember when my Mom used to send me to bed in the summer months and how frustrated I'd be that I wasn't out there playing with the older kids. It was worst when I could still hear them in the backyard, or the neighbour's backyard as Mom came by and told me it was "lights out" time.

It seemed like such a waste of good play time.

Monday, 16 June 2008

Learning as I Go


I'm supposed to post today, I know, but my brain feels out of stories to tell.

I mean, I could tell you about the nice brunch I had with my Dad for Father's Day, or I could tell you about the article I read in O Magazine about sperm donors and all the thoughts I've had about that since reading it, or I could tell you about the strange dream I had last night but none of these really seem interesting enough to write an entire post about.

I guess, in some ways, I'm feeling a little limited in what I can post here lately. See, this is awkward to bring up but there's a person who reads this blog occasionally who doesn't respect the fact that this is an anonymous blog. And this person also occasionally criticizes me for things I've talked about, privately I thought, on this blog. And that makes it hard for me to write freely and honestly, because I feel like I'm waiting to get told off.

I mean, even writing this is awkward because I'm not good at conflict and I don't feel like bringing up, again, with this person the fact that I'm kind of not cool with the way they've treated the fact that I shared this secret thing with them. So I feel like I've had to shut myself down here a bit lately, or like I've had to adjust and alter what I wanted to say because all of a sudden I'm less comfortable with my audience. And that sucks.

One of the main reasons I wanted to have an anonymous blog was so that I could say whatever I wanted to say without having to filter it through "acceptable" social friendship norms. I have a lot of good friends, but they're all married and somehow it's hard to talk to married friends about the ups and downs of being single. Because for most of them it's a distant, somewhat painful memory. Like high school.

And, yes, I've told some of my good friends that I write a blog. Most of them didn't care and didn't ask to read it. I've given the URL to some friends for their input and, in one case, because that friend had a blog and I thought fair's fair. So, really, I've only had the one "bad" thing happen with the one trust breaking and that's, statistically, pretty good. It just doesn't feel good. And I guess I just don't know what to do about it.

I suppose I'll just learn to deal with it and maybe my posts will be so boring for a while that they'll give up reading. Maybe they've already given up and I'm fearing something that doesn't even exist.

I'm good at that. And should probably stop.

I guess it just hurts when you're open and honest and you get flak for it. And I think Angella was talking about it a while ago, but somehow it hurts more when the flak's from someone you know.

Blah. I need to stop this post now because I'm not sure I know what I'm trying to say anymore, and, quite honestly, it's not really a post I feel like posting.

I just think it's going to be a long time before I tell anyone about my blog again, and that's going to have to be ok.

Saturday, 14 June 2008

Guess What We Got Today*?




Jonathan Edwards - Sunshine
Sunshine!

And I loved every warm, fuzzy moment of it.

*OK, technically yesterday by the time I actually post this. But I hear there's more on the way today, woo hooo!

Friday, 13 June 2008

What's That?


An update, you say?

Now, for those of you who play along carefully at home, (like Yvonne,) you may have remembered me mentioning, once or twice, a guy I've had a crush on for a long while.

Said guy, who will now be referred to as Huck because B's girlfriend came up with Huck and it's better than any I came up with (Chuck? Doug? Steve? Simon? Randy? Paula? Huh?) is really a good looking fellow, and 99% of the girls I've ran into who've met him agree.

I've known (about) Huck for a long time as we used to share a social group; I was dating one of the friends of his friend kind of thing. He had a girlfriend at the time and I was super shy (I mean, miles shyer than I am now) so we never interacted. Fast forward a few years and I've only ever admired him from afar, never knowing if he was single and when I found out he was single, never having the guts to really talk to him.

Until the other week.

I don't know if it was driven by my (slightly) competitive nature upon hearing that a friend of a friend had randomly decided to ask Huck out for coffee or just frankly me growing up and deciding I was tired of being scared of something as simple as talking to an attractive guy or a combo of the two things, but last week, I waltzed into his place of work, called him over and talked to him for a few minutes.

It may not have been life-changing for him, but man was I ever on a high after that. Adrenaline rush? Why, yes, thank you very much.

A while after that B mentioned to Huck that I'd said I'd run into him and I was hoping Huck would ask B for information about me, thereby fulfilling all my fantasies and wishes and starting us on the road to having adorable babies and a happily ever after.

Alas, this did not happen.

I mulled it over for a while and decided that since I'd already started the ball rolling, I'd take it another step. See, Huck and I, at the end of our conversation, left things at "Well, we should hang out sometime" (me) and "Well, I'm always here, come by and" um, I actually forget what he said because I was kind of freaking out internally at this point. so I left him a note the next time I was by his workplace with my number and telling him he should call.

Alas, this has not happened either.

But I'm fine about it.

I mean, I'm not jumping for joy, (and quite possibly a bottle or two of wine may get opened in the near future to help in sorrow-drowning, you never know) but at least I put myself out there and (re)introduced myself to a guy I've always found attractive. I think that's an awesome accomplishment in itself.

And while I still wish Huck would call and realize his long lost love for me, I'm also fine knowing that there is a great guy out there for me and that Huck will never know what he's missing.

Plus, he's still nice to look at. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

PS. Yes, I did just update this. Why? Oh, um, because I kind of somehow used the wrong nickname anyway because it seems my brain is melty or something so I had to change them all because, well, yeah. And, yes, I may just be putting on a brave face. You'll never know!

Thursday, 12 June 2008

Ahh Hah Hah Hah Hah!

So, I posted this funny picture but it was too big and I don't know how to fix it so instead? Just go here.
Kthxbye.

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

That's Deep Man


So I have this notebook that, from time to time, I jot down ideas and thoughts for future posts.

I haven't looked in the notebook for a while, but I pulled it up last night to get some ideas for an upcoming post.

As I flipped through the pages, I realized it'd probably been too long since I'd looked through the book since some of the notes no longer made any more sense.

For example? This post came from the note "Seagull".

Because, dude? I have no idea what I meant.

Seagull.

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Lucky Timing

Apparently a good fix for a hurt heart is to have a massage appointment booked for right after the bad news comes.

Things hurt less when your body's smiling.

Monday, 9 June 2008

April, May Remove Your Clothes So Go Expose Your Skin


June comes on putting colour back into your limbs.



There's a strange thing happening right now, not so much around here, but more around the internet space. All of a sudden, people are talking about summer.

Summer? Huh? Isn't that, like, a couple of months away? You know, like, a July sort of thing? August even?

I don't know if things are different in other parts of the world, and I think maybe it's because school is out in the States soon, (now?) but dude, seriously. We're just starting to hit Spring here and, quite frankly, I haven't even done my toenails yet. It's so not summer yet!

It's still Spring where you are....isn't it?

Saturday, 7 June 2008

And Breathe

They say you should do something every day that scares you.

Me? I'm not sure about the "every day" part. But I think it's good to do something every once in a while that you're scared of.

Like, talking to a guy you've previously only admired from afar.

Which I did.




I KNOW!

Friday, 6 June 2008

Soar






There is beauty all around us.

Thursday, 5 June 2008

TV Tidbits

- I would sleep with Jack RIGHT NOW!

- I don't think I've ever watched an episode of So You Think You Can Dance without getting emotional and teary-eyed. (PS. PLEASE let this be good, please?)

- Speaking of Lost, am I the only one who cried all through the season finale?

- The worst part of not having cable and therefore being a season or two behind everyone? Is hearing them talk about a season finale of a season you haven't even started watching yet!

- Oh, and finding out the results of Survivor *before* getting to watch it. (And holy crap, did you know there's like "extras" fun videos on that site? NICE!)

- Good thing I managed to stay in the dark for America's Next Top Model. Yay!

Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Bang


So I got woken up last night by a really loud bang.

And I couldn't fall back asleep.

The reason I couldn't fall back asleep is that my brain automatically went into "think it through" mode. Which, for those of you who aren't familiar with it, goes something like this:

Hmm, that was a loud noise. I'm awake now. I wonder if that was a gunshot. Did I just get woken up by a gunshot? No. Gunshots don't sound that big. They sound thin. Have I ever heard a gunshot? I don't know. How would I know? I would just know, wouldn't I? Hmmm, I should blog this in the morning. (Yes, I really did think that at one something AM) So what was that noise then if it wasn't a gunshot, which it wasn't because I'd know if it was. I think it was a whole big plank of wood falling down from a very high place and going boom. Or maybe a whole bunch of planks but they all fell together. Like, maybe it's windy and they fell far and went boom. Which woke me up. Because now I'm awake. I wonder what time it is. One. Ok. I'd like to get back to sleep now. Why did no one else wake up? Why isn't the guy upstairs going to the window to check things out. I can't have been the only person that woke up. But then again, I'm not going to the window either.

Etc, etc.

The worst part about it all? Is I'd had super sweet dreams as I'd fallen asleep.

Damn planks of wood waking me up.

Tuesday, 3 June 2008

Magic

So I was out and about the other day in the late evening. It was one of the sunny, warm days we've had lately and everything was nice and glowy.

I had my iPod in and my favourite song of the moment came on.  It always makes me smile.

As I'm listening to this song I look up across the street at this little urban park thing and I notice that the trees are shedding something; seed pods or something, I don't know.

All I know is that the way the light was hitting them, they looked like magical golden glitters.

I'm not exaggerating. It was magical.

It really looked like a scene from a movie with silvery shiny glitter was being thrown down in the forest so that the fairies could come out to play. It was absolutely gorgeous.

I kept looking around to see if anyone else noticed, but I guess I was the only one lucky enough to not have anywhere to hurry to.

So I sat there, listening to my favourite song, watching the sparkles fall from the trees.

It was awesome.

I'm so lucky.

Monday, 2 June 2008

My Three (Non) Date Weekend


Went for a photo taking walk and drink with one of my good friends (who also happens to be the boyfriend of one of my best friends.)

Met Bird for breakfast.

Went for a walk with cute temp spy worker guy. (Who, yes, has a Significant Other, oh well, at least I have a new friend, right?)

Pretty good for a shy, single girl, eh?
Please don't steal stuff from here, it's not nice. But leave a comment, why don't cha? And drink more water. It's good for you.

P.S. If you think you know me? You probably don't. If you're sure you know me? Pretend you don't. I'll never admit I know what you're talking about anyway.

P.P.S. All this stuff is copyright from then til now (Like, 2006-2017 and then some.) Kay? Kay.