Monday, 31 December 2012

Another Eve

May you have a happy New Year's Eve, be it a quiet one or a loud one.

And may you be safe and healthy as you celebrate.

I always forget New Year's in the week leading up to it, as it always seems to be a week filled with visits and travel and family and events you can't quite make it to.

But here we are, the last day of another year, an eventful year for sure.

Thanks again for being here, and for reading, and commenting when you can.  Two thousand and twelve had some bumpy moments, that's for sure, but I feel like I grew a lot, and am stronger, and more solid in a lot of ways.

I hope you grew some too.

Big, giant hugs you guys.

See you next year!  (That never gets old, really.  I amuse myself greatly, even if no one else!)

Saturday, 29 December 2012

A Rambling

Between by foundimagination
Mandarin oranges are one of my favourite things about this time of year.  They have just the right combination of flavour, kick, and sweetness to make my mouth happy.

But when they have a seed in them, or when they're over ripe and gushy, then they're shudder-worthy, and so I try hard to not pick any that aren't firm, and to check them out for seeds pre-bite.

I also like pomegranites, although I haven't bought a whole one this year.  I did buy the pre-shelled seeds, which I thought was a ridiculous extravagance, but still, they're good.

I suppose they're rather the same taste, or similar anyway, and maybe I like them because they cut through a lot of the sugar that's typical of this time of year.  Or maybe I'd like them anyway.

Which reminds me, I need to go get more of my Mom's treats from their freezer before they get devoured.

Unless I'm already too late?

December, my flavour friend.

Wow.  That sounded weird.


Friday, 28 December 2012

Whoops

At the time of the writing of this post I have just tried to put something into the freezer to microwave it.

Thank you, that is all, I'll be here all weeks for autographs.

Thursday, 27 December 2012

Montague, Capulet

Dot Com by foundimagination
Names are funny things.  Or, at least, our use of them is a funny thing.

I'm sure I've talked about it before, but I find I don't use people's names as often as I sort of feel I should.  I tend to use a nickname, or just skip over it completely, and I'm never sure why. 

Is it because it feels too formal to use someone's name all the time?  Is this a societal thing?  Is it just me?

Why am I rambling on about names, you may ask?  Well, this guy that I'm seeing (without seeing, if you know what I mean) and I have been sending emails, and you tend to use the person's name in an email. 

"Hey, Victoria, how are you?"  and the like.

And it's been nice, having my name used, even if just in written format. 

Also, I'm not sure what to call him here.  His name, like my own, really, is uncommon enough that I think people might figure out who he was, and by default who I am, and that would blow my spy cover completely out of the water.

I came up with an alternate name, Jay, he preferred Robert (yes, I told him about the blog, I know, right?) and I think that doesn't suit him, but he said Jay's too simple or formal or something.  He came up with Elijah, and I said I'd take it into consideration, but I think we all know it's going to end up being whatever my brain decides on, and I think my brain may already have decided on Jay.

Unless, of course, you have something else in mind?

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

This Year

I took a different approach to the holidays this year. . . to Christmas.

I decided to not let myself get involved in the hype that so often just turns to stress around this time of year.

I stayed out of the malls and shopping centres, other than a wander around them with C-Dawg one early Saturday morning.

And I made very few plans.

I just kept things as simple and straightforward as possible, treating this month just like another month, but with a few extra days off.

I tried not to have any expectations about what those days would look/feel like, and tried not to forsee the stress or trials those days might have.

I'm still in the middle of those days, of course, but I've felt calmer going in than I can remember before.

I'm sure my current happily distracting romantic situation has helped greatly in my ability to remember that there is more to life than having a dream of how Christmas should go and then being disappointed when it doesn't go that way.

But I'm not making much sense here, just kind of babbling to myself, while I enjoy some well-earned time off work.

Ahhhh holidays, I do like the non-work part of you very, very much.

*grin*

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Today

Drip by foundimagination
Hi.

I'm not sure what you're doing today.  If you're working, or on holiday, or with family, or friends, or even on your own.

But I'm thinking about you, and hoping that today is a good one, stress free and as relaxing as it can be.

If you're with people you love, give them an extra hug, because you can.   Life twists in unexpected ways, so take some time to be grateful for what you have, because even if it's bumpy, some day you'll wish you had it back.

So, Merry Christmas, or just a plain old Happy Tuesday.  Sometimes during the holidays the internet feels very very empty, so I thought I'd put a hello out there for anyone who was looking for some distraction.

Happy today.

Hope you're having a good one.

Monday, 24 December 2012

So

So I'm not exactly sure how this happened, but apparently today is Christmas Eve?

Which . . . huh?

I guess my mind has been elsewhere, a happier elsewhere, but yeah.

*insert big goofy grin here*

Doesn't mean my mind still hasn't been wackado.

Like, for example?

I was having a bath the other night when I sneezed.  And then I wondered if I had to have another bath to wash off the sneeze or if the sneeze would be neutralized by the bath.

Or when I searched the stores for leftover advent calendars because why should December be the only month that gets a chocolate every day?  (I have to remember this next year!)

So, yeah, I'm happy, my brain is as always, and it's Christmas Eve.

Weird.

Take care of yourselves, and I'll talk to you soon.  And whatever you celebrate at this time of year, or even if you don't, I'm sending you a giant hug and lots of love.

Saturday, 22 December 2012

Happy

To Sit by foundimagination
And I'm so not doing it justice here you guys, but I really like the guy I'm getting to know.

These past few weeks, there's been a smile on my face, and I've felt happier than I remember feeling.

And I'm not the only one who's feeling like we're onto a good thing here.  Which makes it even awesomer.

We can't jump into anything, obviously, and he's not back in town here for a few months yet, so there will be no... anything typical at all.

And yes, we've discussed how, really, truly odd it will be to meet for the first time, to feel like we know each other at least a little, and then to discover that really we're still strangers.

And we're both willing to give it a few tries.  To not judge on our first awkward meeting that that will be how we get along.  And I think that even if there's no spark, we could become good friends.  He's a really interesting fellow, has a good heart, and has a ton of good stories to tell.

It was some point during the last two weeks that I showed up at C-Dawg's place.

"I had a weird thought on the way over here," I said.

"I think I'm falling in like with this guy."

She looked at me, and smiled, in that way that only a best friend can do.

"Oh, I know," she said.  "I can tell."

I was surprised.

But apparently it hasn't gone unnoticed that I'm happier.

I half mentioned it to my Mom.  Something I've done from time to time when I would start talking to someone with potential on the dating site, she didn't say much, but at least she can't claim I didn't tell her.  And if nothing happens, she won't particularly notice anyway I don't think.

And I've mentioned it to my closest friends.

"I'm kind of talking to this guy.  But we haven't met.  Won't for a while."

I keep expecting them to tell me I'm being stupid or that it's a waste of time or something, but all they seem to do is ask me if I feel it has potential, and when I say wholeheartedly that yes, I believe it really really does?  They tell me that's awesome, and to enjoy it.

Which is what I'm trying to remember.

To enjoy this for what it is.  And if it's just a special email friendship that goes no further, then I'll have enjoyed the time we shared getting to know each other.

Will I be disappointed if we meet and it turns out we don't click?  Yes.  I will.  And he's said he will be disappointed too.

And I'm trying to do my best (it's a struggle a lot of the time right now) to just be in the moment.  To enjoy what this is right now, rather than fretting about what it might or might not be in the future.

And that work I'm doing at being mindful, and in the moment?  Is important.  Something I need to practice for all of life anyway.

But you guys?  I've kind of met someone.  Even though we've never actually met. 

And we like what we know of each other so far.

And I'm happy.

And that's all I know.

For now.

Optimistically positive you guys.  For reals.

Now gimme a hug y'all!

Friday, 21 December 2012

A Whirlwind

And here's where I don't really know how to explain what's gone on in the last few weeks, because I feel like you're all probably sitting there shaking your heads at me.


But I've been "talking" with this guy since the beginning of December now, and it's at a point where I need to tell you about it.

And you'll just have to trust me that I'm not being stupid, and that I'm cautious and aware, and that I'll be ok if things fall apart in the long run, but that I also, kind of don't think they will, you guys.

So, our first week or so of email was pretty basic stuff, here's what I did at work today, how about you.  And then that somehow, I'm not really sure how, morphed into a little bit about where did you grow up, how did you grow up, and how did you get to be where you are now.

In part of those conversations I found myself feeling like, had I taken a slightly different route in life, we might have crossed paths many years ago and so we talked about this a little bit and how, for example, we both want to some day go to Burning Man, and both, in our own ways, are trying to change the world for the better.

Our emails got more personal, longer in length, and I started looking forward to seeing his name pop up in my in-box.

But, of course, you know me, so you'll know that things weren't without my own mind games and self-doubt.

Was this a stupid thing to be doing?  It didn't feel like it.  But it rationally seemed so.

Was there a point to getting to know, and like a person, who I might not click with in person?  No.  But... yes?

And so I have had a thousand thoughts swirling through my head but I've just kept on trusting my gut on this one and so I just kept on doing what felt right, and that was starting to get to know this ... stranger, via email.

Thursday, 20 December 2012

Forward

What Are You Thinking? by foundimagination
As the next week progressed, I found myself looking forward to his emails more and more.  He *was* interesting, and had great stories about his life so far, and, well, I felt rather dull in comparison, but he seemed to be interested in my spy work and so our conversations became a bit more than just "so...how's the weather over there?"

Now, I know, I know, there's massive rules and whatnot about not endlessly emailing someone you met online.  Everyone says not to do it, talks about how you think you're getting to know someone via the emails or messages but you're just making up a version of them in your head and then when you meet you're let down.  So I know all this, and I'm aware of this, and it makes sense, but (isn't there always a but?) I was still really enjoying talking with this guy.

We kept finding things we had in common, or he'd tell me about something he'd done growing up or in his youth and I'd think, man... that's so cool, I kind of wish I'd known him then.

So I guess, if I'm being honest, I started feeling like I liked this guy.  This person I had never, ever met, like, at all.  Which was strange.

And then the first guy sent me a message.

I ignored it for a few days because I didn't know what to say to him.  He'd told me he would message me when he got back and we'd go for coffee, but now I didn't want to.  But what should I do?

I should meet with him.  That's what the smart thing to do would be.  Meet with the person who was actually in town, and then start getting to know him and if it didn't work out then maybe the other guy would be back in town by then and we could grab a coffee, but I didn't want to.

But I also thought it would be rude to ignore him completely, so I checked my messages, and there was a big long one from him.

He said that he didn't know how to say it but he wanted to be upfront.  That he had just gotten back from a second date with a girl, and that he'd gone on the first date with her just before leaving on his work trip.  He hadn't expected to get along with her so well but now that he was, he didn't feel right also meeting me.  He wanted to put his full attention on this one thing and see where it went and he hoped I understood.  He also said that if he was wrong, and things didn't go how he thinks they will and if I hadn't by then been swept off my feet, he hoped I wouldn't mind if he sent me a message in the future, wouldn't be offended.

And you guys?  I was totally relieved.

First of all, I was relieved that I didn't have to meet him.  Or that I didn't have to come up with a lame excuse not to meet him and then wonder why I hadn't just done it anyway since I was only emailing this other guy for pete's sake. (Who is Pete anyway, and why do we care about his sake?)

I was also very thankful that he had taken the time to message me, as I'm sure it felt awkward for him, and most guys either just stop messaging you or just message "I met someone else before you, sorry."  So I appreciated his candor and sincerity.

And then I smiled.

I wasn't particularly sure what I was getting myself into, but it was growing into something not just "email pen pals" and it was making me happy.

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

A Small Twist

So the guy I was more interested in (who had become sick on his flight home) and I didn't manage to meet that weekend back, but I was mentally preparing for a meeting the next week or two.

And meanwhile, the other guy took off for the week, and we said we would go grab a coffee when he got back.

But I ended up being a little bit disappointed.  The first guy sent me a message telling me that he was actually just leaving for a couple of months for work, but that I could send him an email if I wanted to.  And he gave me his email address.

Now, ordinarily, I would not follow through with that.  What would be the point in emailing a complete stranger you'd never get to meet?  But I'd enjoyed our brief conversations and he seemed like a really interesting guy, who, at the very least, would have some great stories to tell and I figured it would be nice to have someone to talk to, and maybe when he got back we could be friends.

So I sent him an email.  "Would you like to be email pen pals,"  I asked? 

It just sort of seemed like maybe I could have a little bit of distraction through the next month or so, send an email or two back and forth with this guy, tell him about the weather, ask what it was like wherever he was, that kind of thing.

And so he sent me his first email from the airport, I can hardly remember what he was talking about, but it made me smile, and so we started being "pen pals."

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Just For Fun

These Days by foundimagination
Yeah,  so I messaged a couple of guys on line and started talking to them. 

They both seemed nice, and funny, and we seemed to get along (as much as you can seem to get along via a message or two here or there) and both of them asked if I'd be interested in meeting.

I was a bit more interested in meeting one than the other, but we weren't able to make it work and then he had to go away for work.

The other guy also had to go away for work and suggested we meet when he got back.

The first fellow actually sent me a hello message from his trip away, which really made me smile (aww, he's thinking of me, neat) and then when he returned we sort of talked about meeting up again but he got a bug from the plane and was sick that weekend.

I spent that next week psyching myself up for meeting him though.  Talked with C-Dawg about how I'm so not good at selling myself and so needed her help practicing the types of small talk questions you have on these meetings.  Because, really, I don't think "not much" is a good answer to "so, what do you do for fun?"  But that's the first answer that comes to mind.

So for a couple of weeks I'd exchange a message or two with these two guys, and thought I'd just see what happened.  It had never really been my style to talk to more than one person at a time, but this was the New Me, right?  And, besides, there was nothing to lose, it was all just in fun.

Monday, 17 December 2012

Sorry About The Mess!

Oh you guys, my brain exploded all over the place and is all over the walls and everything and I just, that was, I mean.  Yeah.

So give me a day or so here to clean up the brain bits that are oozing all over the place, they got into some cracks and need cleaned up.

Is Christmas over yet?  No. 

Nuts.

Anyhooooo, how was *your* weekend?

Any of you more sane than I currently am?

Saturday, 15 December 2012

So Then

Avast and Ahoy by foundimagination
When I had my massive realization and whatnot, I decided it was also time to change, slightly, how I was approaching the online dating thing.

I had been very wary of putting myself out there.  "What if they don't like me no one ever likes me I'm so (insert self insult here) and this doesn't work anyway."

"Oh, give it a rest dumbass, what's there to lose, anyway?" my new/old self said to my Last Five Years self and kicked her out the door.

So I messaged a couple of guys (yes, ones I felt were attractive) and shrugged.  Whatever happened would happen.

And I answered messages and had minor conversations here or there and didn't really mind what happened.

I think seeing Vince helped with that too.  Seeing him made me feel attractive all over again, not just because he seemed to be still physically attracted to me but because we talked about our relationship and I finally heard, after all this time, why he'd been in love with me and why things might have worked, and I felt really good hearing that.  It reminded me that I'm not all those things my mind likes to tell me, and I felt strong and powerful again, in a I am a sexy woman hear me roar kind of way.

(I know, I know, it's kind of cringe worthy, but what can you do?)

I don't know if anyone around me noticed the change, but I did, and I do, and it's not just an emotional/mental one, I feel different physically too;  like I said, freer and lighter.

Friday, 14 December 2012

Babbling Part Two

I think the conclusion all that thinking got me to was that I'd taken the wrong approach but for the right reasons.

Somehow, in wanting to never again sleep with a man before knowing him, I'd shut myself down.  I'd become closed off and wary, and I can only imagine how this would come across or feel to a prospective date.

(Sensitive personages and/or those related to me you should probably stop reading now)

I'm a sexual person.  I think I always have been.  I've never been "slutty" or slept around, or even had a one night stand, but to me, it's important, and very much a part of who I am.

For a while, I thought it was important *why* I was like that, and I thought that because of the why, I should stop being like that.  But somehow the comment, and the thinking and processing and realizing I came to after the comment, made me realize that while the why is, I suppose, important, it is more important for me to just be me.

I like sex.  I like having sex.  I like having a boyfriend to have sex with.  (Or at least, a guy who I am hanging out with and attracted to.)

I like feeling attracted to someone, and the draw and tingles that don't just stick to the you know where places. 

It doesn't mean I like to talk about sex, or acknowledge its existence with my family, friends, colleagues, co-workers, etc. but it means that when I shut myself down mentally in that way (and I'm doing a hack of a job trying to put all these thoughts and understandings down in a way that may slightly make sense to you all) I became someone less than who I am.

So (I came to realize) I have, for the past five or six years, been forcing myself to be not myself, and it hasn't felt good.

I didn't really know it until I realized it all, and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

It's ok for me to be that way.  It's ok for me to meet people and consider sleeping with them.

And just as I came to this conclusion, I ran into Vince, and we all know where that went.  Or, nearly went.

I told him as much too.  Told him he'd come back into my life at a very interesting time.  That I'd just had this massive sexual-ish realization and then, here showed up the best sex I've ever had in my life.

So now I feel better.  Freer.  More... me.

An unintendedly awesome result of a comment someone made.  A catalyst.

And when I made that mental shift, things started happening.  That's for sure.

Thursday, 13 December 2012

Babbling

Grown by foundimagination
I  feel like so much has gone on in the past month or so, and I've told you about most of it; Vince certainly.  But there's something that sort of set all of that off, in my mind at least, and I haven't sat down and typed that one out yet.

I guess maybe it's just a matter of actually doing it rather than talking about doing it, so here goes.

Do you remember in mid-November, when there was a comment left that threw me off, mentally, a little?

Well, after I sort of thought my way through, (and wrote out my way through,) what all that meant for me writing wise, I sat for a while, sorting through what all the comment meant for me, relationship wise.

Because what I know, that you don't is that around the time Smith and I were breaking up, I had a massive, unexpected, (unwanted perhaps?) realization that made me question everything about how I'd approached relationships, and really, sex.

The details of what I discovered and learned are not ones I'll likely share here (although never say never as Mr Beiber might say) but I decided I needed to change how I was approaching relationships, and that meant changing my "sleep with you first, ask questions later" modus operandi, and instead, meet someone, get to know them, and then maybe sleeping with them.

I think I took a year or so, honestly, after Smith to get over him and then to process what I'd learned about myself and my past.  Bird, if you'll remember, happened around that time, and I was very close with him, and somewhat baffled when we didn't end up sleeping together.

After that, I would meet someone here or there.  Through friends for the first while, but things just never clicked.  I wasn't interested in them, they turned me off, or made me feel panicky or something.  And similarly, when S convinced me to try online dating, I would meet someone and never hear from them again, or not want to see them again, Chad being the only minor exception to that.

A lot of that time I spent lamenting the fact that I just couldn't meet anyone, while forgetting that I was, in fact, meeting people and just not liking them.  Or, at times, I would lament the fact that I was meeting people, but they just weren't liking me, I was obviously unlikeable and that cycle gets really old and really draining really fast.

So when the comment was made, and shook me up, I realized that it was time to sit and think.  I always try to do that when someone says something that really really hurts or upsets me, so that I can find the truth or lesson or whatever it may be within what they said.

And when I thought things over, I wasn't upset at my writing, I was happy that I keep on writing here even when things are blue.  But I did start to wonder about my relationship "issues" and what part in that I might be playing.

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

On

One of the things that has helped me over the past week has been watching my friend moving forward with her life.

I think, maybe, she did a lot of her mourning when they were told he didn't have much more time, whereas mine didn't really come until their visit.

But it does help to see that she's ok, and her daughter's birthday celebrations went ahead and a cake was made and life does indeed move on.  And I think that's what her Dad would most have wanted.

My life has kept going, just a little heavier than usual, and, well, this too shall pass. 

I have many things to talk with/to you about but right now I keep staring at the date and going 12/12/12.  Cool.

And so I'll leave you with that.  It's a pretty cool date today.

How are you?

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Pa

Hi by foundimagination
Approximately two months ago, I got a text from my friend.  The one with whom I'd been in a bumpy patch for the last while.  But this was a message that made nothing else matter anymore.

Her Dad, my "Pa", had been battling colon cancer over the past year.  They'd been told that he was clear.  They were wrong.

"Bad news.  Dad's got two months to live."

I called her, we cried, and talked, and cried some more.  All I wanted to do was make it all go away, be better.

But life doesn't work that way, does it.

Two weeks ago, my friend and my Pa came over to the Island, so that he could say goodbye.

And if you've never had to look someone in the eye, and say an actual goodbye, knowing that you will never see them alive again, you can count yourself lucky.  It was the hardest, most heartwrenching thing I've ever had to do.

We sat and talked, held hands and hugged.  We talked about this memory and that, and how when I slept over, he'd always wake me up by throwing a wet facecloth onto my face.

"Daughter #3."  That's what they call me.

"I'll save you a good spot in heaven," he said.

It's hard to watch a grown man cry.  It's hard to contemplate how you'd even begin to process knowing you had such a limited amount of time left.

It's hard to know that you will never actually see someone you love again, that those were your last moments together.  So hard.  I struggled through the next few days, thinking of what he'd said, how he'd looked, what it had all been like.  And I cried.




Five days after we held each other and said our goodbyes, my friend's Dad took a turn for the worse, and died in his sleep.

I can't do justice here to how much my heart hurts when I stop to think about him.  Or when I think about his family, who must be missing him even more than I am.

I think to myself, often, that I wish no one ever had to die.  But such is life, and life goes on and that's how it's supposed to be.

Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though.

Love the ones you love.

Tell them.

Thank them.

And be happy.  Be good.  Live while you can.

Monday, 10 December 2012

Just Me?

Do you ever stop in the middle of your work day and think "man, my job is really weird."

Or is that just me?

Saturday, 8 December 2012

Crazed Imagningings

How My Brain Feels Some Days by foundimagination
The weird thing about having this particular brand of cold is that you sound as bad as you feel so people are kind of more sympathetic than when you have that kind of cold that makes you feel poopy but sound like a regular human being.

But, that's not what this post was going to be about.  This post was going to be about something that I forgot in the time period it took me to choose the photo you see there on the right and upload it (or whatever) from flickr to blogger and now here I am with a brain that's trying to figure out what it is I was going to say.  Lemme see.

Oh, yeah, I remember.  (Thank goodness I'm not live blogging, or you would have fallen asleep at the actual amount of time it took me to remember)

When I first got slammed by this cold, I had myself a little nightcap of Neo Citran to see if I could knock some sense back into my body.  Or something.

It wasn't night time Neo or anything, so I wasn't feeling drowsy or sleepy, but I did hear someone in the hallway, meddling with my door and had the feeling they were just standing out in the hallway waiting.

I texted C-Dawg, cuz that's what one does when one is weirded out.  "I think there's someone standing in my hallway, I want to look but I don't want to look."

"Go to bed.  The Neo Citran's messing with your head."

"Oh.  Ok."

And I did.

But I still think there was someone standing outside my door at 9 something at night last weekend.

I just don't know why there would be.

Or why they wouldn't have knocked.

Or tried to break in.

Or something.




Updated Monday to add:  I'm feeling a lot better and noticed that the title of this post actually doesn't make sense as much as I'd thought.  I was going to change it but now think I'll leave it.  Shows how bleargh my brain was ;)

Friday, 7 December 2012

Big and Little

All last week I kept wishing I could have Vince come over and lie on the couch with me. 

Just to have that feeling of curling up against someone, and being comfortable and secure.

I still don't want to have a relationship or get back together with him and I'm fine with not sleeping with him, but now, apparently, I have to get over wanting to cuddle with him.

Sigh.

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Well,

After Breakfast by foundimagination
I sure hope that old saying is "Feed a fever, starve a cold" because this cold does not want to eat.

Or, at least, I do not want to eat and it's because of this cold.

I didn't even want a piece of birthday cake that someone brought to work yesterday and that's like...gasp!

I don't even think I'd bother eating a Cadbury's Creme Egg.  And that's saying something.

Begone foul beast of a cold-ick-ness.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

I Wonder

On tv shows like The Amazing Race where they're all pressed for time and rushing to do this that and the other...when do they eat?  I mean, I guess they eat dinner and breakfast at the "rest place/pit stop" but what about lunch?  And stuff?

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Brain Mush Wonderings, The Fluffy Edition

Why do they make fluffy pyjamas in regular sizes?

Like, my friend just gave me a new pair of fluffy cozy pjs and they're the same size as I'd buy clothes or shirts in or whatever and they feel tight.

I mean, they're not actually tight, but I don't want my pjs to be form fitting, like, at all.

Granted,  I don't actually wear them to bed, so I suppose they're more lounge wear than bed wear, but still.  Why they gotta be all un-loose?

Do people actually wear pyjamas that are anything other than massively big?

Monday, 3 December 2012

Hack, Sniff.

I had an absolutely miserable week last week and now I have a cold.

Or, as I suspect, I have a cold because I had a miserable week last week.

I've really not got much in the way of a functional brain, as seen by my attempt to send off my international Christmas cards yesterday, where I ended up labelling and stamping them all upside down.

Yes, yes I did.

So for this week, until my brain clears and my nose, chest, head and throat clear, I won't have anything sensical to say.

Is that a word?  Spell check doesn't think so.

But, yeah.  There you go.

Saturday, 1 December 2012

December

A Month Away by foundimagination
There are a number of things that I am not looking forward to this month, and I'm going to try to not spend the entire month not looking forward to them.

If that makes sense.

What I mean is, if there are four or five days this month that I'm worried about or am anticipating not being enjoyable, I don't want to spend the other twenty six days stewing about them.

So I'm going to try to really focus on other things.  To distract myself if necessary.  To be present when I can.

To just get through one day at a time and deal with the not so great days when they get here, rather than dealing with them for weeks before hand.

Easier said than done, perhaps, but a good exercise and a good intention to set for the month.

Right?

Right.
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P.S. If you think you know me? You probably don't. If you're sure you know me? Pretend you don't. I'll never admit I know what you're talking about anyway.

P.P.S. All this stuff is copyright from then til now (Like, 2006-2017 and then some.) Kay? Kay.