Double Um?

So... how is it possible that I have cousins who have grandkids?

I mean, I can understand how logically it's possible... my parents have older siblings, they have kids who are older than I am, my cousins live in Scotland so I've not seen them in decades and so on and so forth but still... you what now?



Oh and in other news I've already killed four ants, they showed up earlier this month when we had our hot day (I figured they would)  My hope is I've killed the "scout" ants (that's a thing right?) and after a while they'll stop sending any my way and I can live ant free?  Yes?  Please?

So, Um...

This is almost funny.  Or, I suppose I should say I'm finding this funny!

I'm pretty run down and exhausted so took today off to just rest.

Well, turns out they're doing some construction stuff in the apartment below me and y'all?  I couldn't sleep through it if I tried!

Like, I heard them unloading so wasn't able to sleep in sleep in so am up on the couch under my blanket and thought I'd sneak in a nap but I think they're murdering a drill down there or something and, well, no rest for me!  (Seriously, it's like the loudest dental drill noise plus a dying dial up noise I can't even!)

I mean I'm still going to lie on my couch under my blanket but just, I'll be awake doing it.  Heh.

This Sucks

I'm currently researching air purifiers/filters in anticipation of another smokey "Summer" season and I really don't want to believe that this is how life is now.

(Also, everyone seems to love their Dyson but I just don't feel like I have the money...!)

The System

I know the medical system has challenges, and that's me being polite.

But I spent three days (at 5+ hours a day) waiting in the ER with my friend and every time I spoke with a nurse about how busy they were they responded with "it's always like this" and "people come here for clinic reasons". 

I know it's far more complicated than I can possibly type out here or probably even understand but despite there being good people working there, the ER system sent my friend home twice, missed some important things that shouldn't have been missed, and according to the final doctor upon discharge, my friend nearly died (because of this.)

I am exhausted.  My friend is mending.  I'm turning off comments just because I know it's a passionate, sensitive issue that involves money and taxes and government and all sorts of things I just try to keep off of my own little private blog space here. 

I'm letting my friend do the complaining that needs to be done, and I've sent off commendations to the nurse and doctor who did save a life by listening, being thorough, and taking the time (despite whatever limitations they're working within.)

And I wish wish wish people had a better understanding of what's a visit to the clinic (yes, there are also long waits there, I know) and what's a visit to the ER.  Turns out the ER can't send anyone home, even if they show up with a hang nail.  So that person will have a very very very long wait and will also slow down the system for folks who are in dire straits and need to be there. 

And if I were you, I'd do whatever I could to avoid having to go through the long long waits at the ER.  Or, you know, just try to stay out of hospitals all together if you can!

Doing The Work So You Don't Have To

I did some very important research for you all.  You're welcome.

Store in town here has imported some British Cadbury creme eggs.  So I bought one.  For science.

I can now officially report that they are still in that old metal wrapping (rather than the weird plastic shell we have now.)  They're slightly bigger and taste slightly different.

Now I'm not sure most people would notice the taste difference but I do consider myself something of a connoisseur after all.  I do miss the metal wrapping so that was nice to re-experience.

But yes, I have done the research and can let you know they're still yummy, even when flown (ridiculously) from the other side of the world.  (And ever so slightly different)

The end!

Huh?

So, according to my dream... I went in to see the doctor (who had a fancy office) and she was the Mom of a gal I vaguely know, and when she came in, she asked if I knew which tattoo I was getting, and I froze because I knew she was a tattoo artist, but I'd totally forgotten that's why I was going and so I'd forgotten to think of what tattoo I wanted, so I said no.

She said that was fine because she'd seen my parents at a get together the night before and they'd chosen some, and she showed me the patterns.  (What?)

They were all really lame (of course they were!) and so I politely tried to back out of it, while feeling guilty.

Then, my friend who'd been wandering around the property came back in and said he needed the first aid kit because someone was hurt. So I followed him out and he told me to say sorry to my friend for him wrecking the roof. He went on to explain that he saw the old Chevrolet (car) and just wanted to climb inside the roof (I don't know!) so he did but then it collapsed (probably because it was old and not designed for ... that) and shattered everything and then I started to wake up because I'm not sure how the other person got injured but... I have no idea what that was all about!

Well, I mean I can guess at some components but really not sure how or why my brain but it all together like that!

Wasn't A Trick Question

I was on a call the other day and for "verification purposes" or something they asked me how old I was.

I gave an answer, but as I was giving it I was genuinely uncertain if I was correct. 

Now, this could be in part because my birthday was only two months ago (maybe?) or possibly because I have actually gotten to the point where I am not exactly paying attention to my age anymore.  So, you know, not "I'm 4 and 3/4!" more like "am within this decade?"

So Tired

Spent much of the day in the ER yesterday (not for me, I'm ok) and am so overwhelmed and exhausted and drained. 

Not that you needed to know that, but I noticed I didn't have a post ready but was way out of it last night, so here's my morning missive instead, sorry!

Rest would be lovely if you have any extra.

Spring In The Air

I noticed this weekend that the air coming through my window is different.  It has a feel of warmth to it.

Now, that's not to say that it's warm air or hot air, just that up until now, having my window open meant chilly air coming in.  Sometimes air that was so biting I'd have to have the window just cracked or closed entirely.

It seems sort of sudden.  As in, within the last few days, not quite a week.  I've also thrown most of my bedtime blankets off and may just be removing them altogether soon.

I know it is Spring, I mean, even technically tomorrow!  But we had a winter that was a not very winter and then a late comeback total winter and now it's feeling a little bit all of a sudden that I can probably have my window all the way open... and not have to wear fuzzy warm things and a blanket and a hot water bottle.

So, yeah.  Weather's changing.  And yes, I am soaking in the sun while it's here.

And yes, I'm sad to say I'm anticipating another wildfire summer, which sucks to be thinking about.

(Someone accidentally (was apparently smoking?) caused a brush fire on the waterfront here this weekend.  Now, I'm no fire expert, but it makes me a bit nervous to think that things are already that... dry?  Even with snowfall not too long ago.)

But yes, the air coming in my windows is warmer.  Like someone finally turned the heat on outside. 

Spring.

Waaaaahhhh

I've consulted with C-Dawg and she agrees.

While I'm not going to the gym TO sleep, the fact that I have managed to get myself to the gym should mean that as a bonus I DO sleep.

It's the LAW!!!  I GO TO THE GYM IT MAKES ME TIRED I GET TO SLEEEP!  IS LAW!

(No?)  (I mean, I'm not going before bed or anything but still!)

Zoinks

To whomever is getting the sleep I am not, I hope you are fully enjoying it and taking advantage of all that energy, brain power, strength and happiness it is bringing you.

I'm Trying!

I really am trying to do ok with the time change this year, I really really am, I swear!

I'm doing ... vaguely ok in the mornings so far (although yesterday morning was frigging rough so who knows) in part because my mornings have been really rough for a while so... no major difference?

But the days seem to be getting lost on me and then all of a sudden it's 7:30 and I'm not hungry and it's too late to start dinner anyway and I'm confused and so yeah.  I mentioned to Jason that I've been messed up on dinner this week and he just looked at me... "you get all f*cked up this week every year"

Oh.

Yeah...

Fine.

Bugger

I was just about to start a post asking if anyone else ever gets these random pains in their legs (mainly) that just come out of nowhere and I was going to describe it (as it had just happened) and then I saw a mosquito flying away.  Crap.

I wasn't sure it was a mosquito, and I usually don't feel their bites (I have to assume that's what that frigging pain was, damnit) but it came back a few minutes later and landed long enough for me to squish it dead.  (I may save spiders and other bugs but I never let mosquitos live, for so many reasons.)

So now I'm writing a post about the fact that I guess it's mosquito season again... and maybe it never wasn't... I dunno.  Just, ugh and boo and maybe, just maybe?  They didn't get enough of a bite into me for the itch to happen, I guess we'll see.

Sigh.

It's the Hips (And Shoulders?)

I'm not entirely sure why but I was thinking the other day about the fact that I "should" maybe (probably?) have an escape ladder in, say my bedroom, in case of a fire situation where I can't get out the front door.

So I was googling to see what was out there and how pricey they might be when I realized... I don't think I can actually fit out my bedroom window and there's no good way to find out!

My main living room windows I'm sure I can fit through them, but my bedroom ones are two smaller (thinner) windows rather than one large one (for... reasons?)

Which... I suppose means if I'm stuck in my bedroom when the imaginary fire or whatever happens, I probably can't get out.

Although you bet I'm going to have to try to figure out some way of measuring the window to see if I *could* indeed fit through it!

But let's be honest, I'm not sure how to see if my butt will fit out of a window...

To My Fellow Time Travellers

May we navigate this time change with humour and awakeness...

May we see the end of this madness oh so very soon (hurry up lawmakers!)

May we turn into someone who barely notices the hour's difference.

May we go back to sleep because everyone understands we shouldn't have had to get up so "early" this morning.

I wish you well.... during this.... time....

Aw, Man!

I got screwed!

Which is exactly the joke I made when I walked into the tire shop with a screw in my tire!

The guy didn't bat an eyelash (but I thought I was pretty funny so I was laughing in my head) and they did their thing and half an hour later I had a plugged tire and no screw.

I'm glad it went as well as it did, but it still blows my mind at whatever physics have to be involved for that screw to have gotten... stabbed (?) into my tire, and I wish I knew where it came from so I could be mad at them for it... like stop screwing around, y'all!

Heh.

Sorry, I'll show myself out.

Ugh

Well, turns out this weekend is Daylight Savings Mess With You For A Month or More Time.

Ugh.

I think we know how I feel about this.

Although I'm sleeping terribly these days anyway so maybe I won't notice?

Maybe?

Sigh.

Anyway, don't forget to do the thing, unless you live somewhere where you don't have to.  Sigh.

One Hundred and Fifty Five

I have been meditating (using the Headspace site/app to help) now for one hundred and fifty five days straight.  That's five months!

I have a calendar page (for the month) on one of my kitchen cabinet doors and I mark off the day with a big black dot (cuz I have a big black marker handy) when I'm done and that helps me remember on a busy day if I've done it or not, but also to motivate me on a day when I don't feel like it (which happens, honestly, quite a lot) because I don't want to mess up the streak, and because I want every day on that calendar to have a mark showing I did it.

I may have mentioned that I started in October when I saw someone post a "one month challenge" and I thought well, hey, I can maybe do that.  Because the idea of doing something for the REST OF MY LIFE is overwhelming.  But trying it for thirty (or so) days?  That felt doable.  And then once I'd done the thirty (one) days I didn't really see the point of stopping.  Plus, maybe I could do sixty (something) days?

So yeah, I've been meditating now, almost always in the morning for nearly half a year.  As I said, I don't always want to.  A lot of the time I'd really just rather not.  But then I'd break the streak... so I throw on a short one and even on the days when it's not easy to do (because it's not really an easy thing to be frank, and that, they say, is part of it) I don't feel *worse* for it.

And at this point, to be honest, I'm not really willing to stop doing it just to see if I feel worse, you know?

Like I feel about a lot of things, other than it costing a few dollars (Headspace does charge, but I don't mind paying, I really like it) and other than taking up a few minutes (which really, how many minutes do I 'waste' online on things that make me miserable or stressed?  SO MANY!) there's no harm to it.  If it's "not working", I'm not losing much.  You know?

I'm certainly no monk at the top of a mountain or anything, and I mean, heck, I lie down when I do it rather than sitting up (so what!  Am still doing it!) but I do think it makes a difference to things and to me and to my calm.  So, here's to a good few months of consistent, daily meditation, yay!

Awww Yay!

I had a happy dream last night that I bought a house!

(Or, ok, as I was saying to someone in the dream, well the bank kind of owns it because mortgage, but still!)

The dream was super super nice because it was happy (as in not at ALL stressful, yay!)

I was unpacking in the house or something and realizing it was much bigger than I'd thought.  And there were little things I was realizing I hadn't considered, like the fact that the gorgeous back lawn would need a lawn mower.  (I assume the older couple who owned it previously didn't leave theirs) And then as I was looking to see if maybe they had left a lawn mower, I realized that I'd need somewhere to store one, and the place didn't have a garage, so maybe I'd have to put up a shed in the back yard?  Because garbage cans too... where would they go?

And I figured that there were so many rooms I kind of hadn't realized about that I could really see if Jason wanted to rent one and then that would take six to eight hundred bucks off of my mortgage a month (no idea where those numbers came from but ok!) and then he could help with the back yard because I just realized I could have a garden!  AND GROW FOOD!  Oh my gosh this is just getting better and better!!!

It was a bit further away than where I live now, so maybe a bit more driving but when I woke up and thought "hmmm, where was that house?" I don't think it was where I thought it was so maybe it's not actually that far away at all.

So yeah, in my dream, I own a super cute house that's got more than enough space for me and a great yard where I can grow things and I was talking to my parents about how a grass yard isn't important to me but that these folks did an amazing job on this gorgeous, lush lawn, so I would be looking for natural/organic ways to maintain it because that's responsible and I wasn't going to deal with chemicals.

It was lovely, to be honest, to have a non stress dream (for a frigging change!)  There was no stress about money; I wasn't thinking "I can't afford a lawn mower or organic grass food" I just was excited and happy to be planning and thinking and owning my own home that I could DO things in and with!

As I type this out I am realizing I didn't even consider the fact that I can get a dog!  So had I stayed asleep and spent time in the house I bet that would have occurred to me, yay!

I like to think that some day I'll be buying my own house and something in my brain will go "wait, deja vu?" and I'll think back to typing out about the dream where I'd just bought a house and I'll go hey!  My dream (literal, ha) house!

Super Pet Peeve Rant

There should be a law, A LAW I SAY!, that if you eat healthy type good for you food that you don't even really like but are eating because they are HEALTHY AND GOOD FOR YOU that you do not get sick from said food.

Like seriously. 

I got sick after a lunch that had no bad food in it, that was fresh and all the good things and it's not like I even wanted to eat it, like I mean if I have a bag of Doritos and get a headache or stomach ache after it's like like "oh, well, you know, all those chemicals, my bad, sorry body" but this?  Betrayed by tomatoes?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

And no, it wasn't a nasty awful food poisoning type thing it was just feeling really off an unsettled until... er... things uh... cleared my system and then feeling better.

I'm just saying.  If I'm eating this stuff?  No sick or pain ok?  THAT'S A FAIR DEAL!!!!!

FFS.

A Bad Good

I feel like this is a dumb thing to say but if I was a thief, I'd take the good stuff and then leave the rest somewhere where it could be found.

Like... if I was going to steal a wallet or purse, I'd take the money (and credit card I guess?) and then leave the rest of the stuff somewhere so it could get returned to the person.  I mean, I don't see the point in stealing something like a bag or purse and then keeping it all.  No way you need that person's used lip gloss or tissues or the photo of their dog, you know?

(I've been watching a show where bag thieves take bags at a beach and I just want the tourists to get their stuff back!)

In Like A Lion

Well, we're in March now, eh?

Which is such a spring sounding month.

And also the one I often confuse with May.

Plus I can never remember when Easter is anymore.

And I'm going to try to not eat creme eggs this month.

I think.

Because I really should stop.

No, seriously.

So, happy March to you!