Further To

I was thinking again about my irritated brain (like stomach irritation) thought and had more to say...

With my stomach for the most part I *know* what is going to set it off.  For example, I do try to keep my gluten consumption on the low side, but from time to time I just get reminded how much I love it and I go a little nuts on it.  Last time it was sesame seed bagels.  I know better, I knew better, but I still bought and ate them not just for one week but for several weeks in a row, until my stomach started really feeling awful with other things.  This time it was these pretzel snacks I would never ordinarily have bought but that my sister in law had at a birthday gathering and I've been pounding through them for weeks... until the very bad pain night at Jason's. (My god do I still want them, especially as a heat-time treat but I'm trying not to buy them.... cuz pain....even though the memory of that pain is receding a bit)

So I know that if I eat gluten I'm going to end up with pain.  I know if I eat too much dairy (cheese) it's going to end up hurting.  I can do these things in moderation (even if I shouldn't really) but not over and over and over.

My mind/brain issue is that I don't know what my mental/emotional equivalents of gluten/dairy are.  I do not entirely know what the things are that irritate my brain.  I can guess?  But they're all things I can't really eliminate as easily as I can avoid buying bagels or pretzel snacks.  Do you know what I'm saying?  It's easier to identify a food that upsets your stomach and avoid it.  It's feeling damn near impossible to identify what's upsetting my brain and avoid it.

Or maybe they're things inside the very brain they're upsetting.  Or maybe it's chronic.  Or maybe it's work.  Or Jason.  Or the climate crisis.  Or the "stress" that all doctors and practitioners keep telling me to reduce AS IF I WOULDN'T IF I COULD.  Or maybe it's EVERYTHING.  It's harder to avoid thoughts and events and stimulus than it is not to eat something.