Binge Reading?

I was reading a book the other night when the thought/realization occurred to me that I am, essentially, binge reading these books, which I've never before thought of as a thing!

Like, you know how you'll find a show you love and watch an entire season in a couple of days or the entire series in a week?  You binge watch it and it's awesome but then you miss your friends?

Well I didn't follow this book series when it was first released (despite it's seemingly huge popularity!) and so now I have all the books as after I read the first (even being annoyed by it) I wanted to know what happened and so bought the second and was like "well this is just going to happen again isn't it?" so bought the whole series and my plan is to just read my way through all of them back to back!  Which, ordinarily I don't get to do with a book series as you usually have to wait a while (looking at you George RR!) for the next one to come out.  So this is kind of fun to realize and I'll probably be bummed when I get to the end of the last book but while I'm doing it, I'm enjoying it!

Vaccines

I'm a strong believer in vaccination and I think part of that is due to Mr M.

Mr M was a family friend growing up who had contracted childhood polio and so was rather scary as a young kid as he walked with a cane and leg braces and spoke "kind of funny."

My Mom (a nurse) explained that polio was now rare due to vaccines and maybe having that visual reminder of illnesses the world has worked to eradicate or reduce gave me a healthy respect for vaccines and vaccinations.

I bring this up now as parts of the country right frigging next to mine just had an unvaccinated child die of the measles.  This worried me as folks travel and immunity fades.

I'm super happy to have found out (by looking at my vaccine records... find-able online in my province) that I actually got an MMR booster back in 2019.  I'm so proud of past me for doing this, as I would have had to do it on purpose and it means I don't have to look into potentially doing it again now as these measles outbreaks maybe pop up in more places.

I also re-did my tetanus last year along with diphtheria and I paid for my pertussis out of pocket as having whooping cough as an adult SUCKED and I do not want to do that again.  And for whatever it's worth when I was talking to a nurse on 811 at the worst of my illness he was concerned it was whooping cough as it's having a surge this year, so I'm glad I did that.

Next up is my shingles shot.  I had chicken pox I'm pretty sure more than once as a kid and I've heard the horror stories about shingles and would very much like to not contract it or have a lessened illness if I do contract it.  But I've also heard the shot isn't always delightful for folks so I'm in a battle of wanting to get it done but also slightly wanting to avoid and double also waiting to make sure I'm not lingering around in the illness category, you know?

After that, now that I've hit 50, I'll probably do a pneumonia vaccine, seeing as this last illness hit my lungs/bronchi and that used to be a bit of a weak spot for me so I'd like to have some added protection against that.

I'm not trying to preach here or convince anyone just saying that keeping on top of and up to date with vaccinations works for me and reduces some of my medical anxiety and stress.

For the record, I don't LOVE the experience of getting vaccinations but, I do them anyway, kind of like buying insurance I guess.

And for whatever it's worth, both of my brothers have the scar from the small pox vaccine but I was too young to get it as they stopped giving it... feeling they had eradicated it.   

So yeah, grateful for the scientists who do the work to try to help the whole of us, and grateful to those who are able to and choose to vaccinate to help themselves and the rest of us at the same time.

Warming

We had a warm up this weekend.

And while some are warning of "false Spring", I'm looking at the calendar and thinking we're not having numbers in the negatives again until next Winter, so for me, that's "the cold" over.  Sure, there may be another snow, we often have that in early Spring/late Winter but cold snaps?  I think we're done.

The sun has been lovely and lifted lots of spirits.

I made the very sad decision to change up my sleeping situation and put that delightfully soft fuzzy blanket up on top and it's been folded all weekend so it might go away into storage soon enough.

In fact, with our building's heat up a bit for the cold snap it was a little bit too warm and the nights didn't cool all that much and I was fully windows open and blankets off there for a few nights so now my body needs (oh please) to adjust to warmer temps.

Did my blanket experiment work? I can't say for certain as I feel we had a pretty mild winter with only a few nights where I felt I needed to really work at it to be warm in bed.  So maybe?  But will try it again next year and make a final decision there.

So while it may still be winter on the calendar, it feels like Spring in the weather and temperatures.

Plus the days are getting to a lovely length and mornings are suddenly much brighter, which means that stupid time change is coming soon to mess with me again!

So yeah, a mild, short winter and the sense that Spring weather is already here.

Oh, and there have been tons of Canadian geese in migration patterns in the skies the last few weeks and as I type this some seagulls are flirting with each other VERY EFFING LOUDLY (please stop) and the plum trees around town are starting to bud to blossom so yeah.... here we seem to be.

Worrying

Remember when I mentioned that my Mom had caught the flu?

Well it turns out that it was likely Covid, which my Dad then caught, as a couple of days ago they were told by their doctor to test for Covid (which I had mentioned) and they both came up positive.

Their first time (leaving me as the last holdout in my family not to have tested positive... knock on wood let's keep it that way) and a huge concern for me as they're both in their 80s and Dad has high risk factors.

His doctor consulted with a pharmacist and they decided that the anti-viral that can be given for high risk folks wouldn't conflict with his heart meds and so I went and picked that up for him (and distance dropped it off) as well as some other things I thought might ease some of their symptoms.

He's reporting that the medication has helped quite a bit and so I'm trying to worry less, but it's hard.  They're up to date on their vaccines and such so that should help and have ordered groceries to be delivered and all that kind of stuff but it's tense right now (at least for me) and seeing as my non-Covid cough is still lingering (I tested regularly throughout my illness and never popped a positive) I worry for them and their symptoms.

Glad, very glad, for a health care system that while flawed and imperfect has helped my parents at no cost to them other than the taxes we all pay.  I can't imagine it any other way.  Or, rather I can imagine it and I don't want to live it.  

Do take care of yourselves, it seems extra germ-y and buggy out there right now. 

My Cough

Speaking of coughs and things, I am still occasionally using the inhaler I was given but my cough is improving even if it sort of seems to come and go.

Like tonight as I sit here typing away I don't think I've coughed much all day.  Maybe not at all?  Or at least not memorably?

But last night?  It got bad.  I was doing the same as I'm doing tonight - lying relaxing on my couch before bed, but my cough just acted up.

I couldn't get it to settle, so I took a hit of inhaler.  It didn't help enough.

I thought about it and realized I'd not taken an antihistamine in a few days and that maybe I needed to keep that up for a little longer so as I was heading to bed I took one and also took more inhaler and by the time I got into bed and read for a bit things had settled.

I took another antihistamine this morning and maybe that's part of why I haven't needed the inhaler today?

I'll probably still use it before exercise class and/or work maybe?  But I am curious that a) my doctor recommended an antihistamine in the first place when b) I'd been using them myself for an annoying "allergy cough" for the last few years.  I should maybe/probably look into that but... well, you know...

But yeah, my cough is still here from time to time.  Sometimes worse and I'm not 100% sure why and sometimes better and hopefully soon to be forgotten. 

Today I Learned....

My Mom has the flu.  I'm quite worried since she's older now.... so we'll just leave it as a simple statement and not get in to details.  I was terrified that I had somehow given her my whatever but her symptoms are different and her doctor has said "flu" and that it seems that the flu shot they gave this year isn't the strain of flu that seems to be hitting so many folks.  (They kind of guess every year and so yeah.)

So last week I got a call from her the evening she'd told me she wasn't feeling well asking if I had Gravol (an anti-nausea medication if you live elsewhere as it can go by a different brand name in other places) and I went and looked and I had two packets.  One that had expired five years ago and one that expired a year ago.  Oops! (Guess I don't use it that often?  Yay?)  I said I would go out and get some and bring it to them.

I got to the store and was shocked to find out that Gravol gets locked up once the pharmacists go home (even though it's over the counter and just out on the shelves) and that there is no way to get any past Pharmacist hours.  I stood staring at the sign for quite a while hoping that somehow the words would change in to "ask someone to unlock this!" 

So I called my parents.  Explained that all I had was expired Gravol but that I'd bring it to them.  And so I went home and got it and drove to theirs.  (Now mind you, I was rather in probably a panic attack and had the thought that I maybe shouldn't have been driving but I just tried to pull myself together and be extra cautious and mindful.)

I had also suggested my Mom call 811 (our province's non urgent health care number) and when I got there she was on the phone with a doctor (WONDERFUL!)  The doctor assured her that expired Gravol is safe (non harmful) and that worst case it might just not be effective.  But also (likely due to Mom's age and the worry of fall risk) cautioned that it might make her dizzy/woozy and so to essentially take it in bed. (It was about 10pm by this time.  The latest the three of us have been up together in years and years!) 

The Gravol seems to have helped her feel a bit better and get a good night's sleep (she is currently feeling better but still under the weather and coughing so now just hoping she continues to improve and that my Dad doesn't catch/get it from her... they said as long as she is symptomatic she is contagious and that it could be up to two weeks and that the cough might linger for longer)

So yeah, the point of this post wasn't that my Mom caught the flu but that Gravol is apparently a slightly controlled substance and you can't buy it past whatever time a pharmacist is around.  I had no idea.  Now I do. 

I Can Guess

When I go to the aqua fitness classes, I wear water shoes in the pool.  I may have mentioned it in a previous post, but I didn't initially (I am in the shallow end so touching the bottom) and then the skin on my toes started to get weird and so I decided to get water shoes and knock on wood the weird skin issues haven't come back.  

But anyway, I wear water shoes in the pool and then when I shower after, I slip into slip on "shower shoes" and wash the water shoes and put them in my wet bag (a game changer for swimming by the way!  If you're interested, look up diaper bags or wet bags.) and then I wear the slip-ons as I change, and so I avoid stepping on the floor with bare feet.

I got to the pool one day last week after really not wanting to go and as I was getting changed I noticed that one of my slip on shoes was missing.  I checked my gym bag.  Nope.  Hmm... it was probably in my closet at home where I store my gym bag.  Bummer.  I ended up wearing my water shoes until I was getting changed and got water everywhere (even though it's a wet change room I still felt bad) and it wasn't ideal.

I got home and checked and nope.  No shoe there either.  I really don't know what happened to it but my guess is it somehow fell out of my "swim bag" that sits in my open gym bag on my walk to the gym.

Yes, I absolutely retraced my steps on the way home the day I found it missing with no luck.  Maybe I will ask at the front desk for a lost and found kind of thing but I feel like the shoe is just... gone.

I wore flip flops the next time and hated the FLIP FLOP FLIP FLOP noise as I walked through the change area so I'll be putting it on my list to get new slide on shower shoes.  But I miss the one that got lost, they were perfect! (No, I haven't gotten rid of the other one yet just in case it somehow magically shows up?)

So the next day I went to class again and as I go to lock up my locker, still bummed about the missing shoe, my lock is gone.

My lock that is always put back IN MY POCKET that zips, it was not there.  What the actual eff?

I have a gym jacket (thin) that has zip pockets and I keep my gym card and that lock in the pocket and they never go anywhere else.   In cooler or wet temps, I put another jacket OVER that exercise/gym jacket.

I checked all sorts of pockets and the entire gym bag and nope, no lock.  I debated not going to class as I don't love leaving things unlocked (people do) but I figured I didn't have my wallet so worst case they steal all my stuff and my keys and, well, good news is nothing happened.

But get this.  I'm heading home after class that day and I throw on my outer fluffy jacket and head outside.

I was just starting to walk down the sidewalk and about to turn on my music when I heard a clunk.  I thought to turn and see what it was and there on the ground is my lock that had just fallen out of... WHERE?????

The ONLY guess I have is that the outer jacket I was putting on is a blanket type ski/snowboard jacket that's big on me so I roll up the sleeves and they stick out a bit and so maybe while I was grabbing my card the lock caught on the cuff of the jacket and then only fell out once I got back outside?

It's a real stretch but I have no idea how that lock got to a place outside of a zipped pocket in order to fall out on the street from... some item of clothing I had changed out of and then back in to.

So bizarre.

But yeah, I had a couple of days in a row there where I was worried about my level of distraction as I managed to somehow lose a shoe and then a lock.  (A lock that later magically mysteriously reappeared!?)

Sigh. (I'd love it if the shoe came back now too if anyone's listening!)

 

Phew

These last two months have been a real struggle.  Not just for me, I'm sure.

I really don't want to start talking about what's going in in and with America right now as it really sets of my anxiety and I'm trying not to do that, but fuck.  It's awful.  

So January was the LA fires, which got me incredibly stressed and upset, and then worry about my 50th and then I got sick sick and then a bunch of things happened with my family (it took me to a very dark place) and meanwhile America's new old president came in to power and started effing everything up and threatening my country and so now when I shop I don't just consider price and ingredients and health and environmental impacts, I also look to make sure it's not made in or from America and while I'm bitter enough to do this, it is an added mental stress for sure.

And then the sick lasted and is still lingering in a cough a bit and then I went back to work and that was exhausting and meanwhile things in the outer world are not letting up and I just want a break that I am not able to find or take and like especially with being sick, these last four or six weeks are all a blur and a merged experience. 

I hadn't seen my counsellor in ages since I had to cancel an appointment due to my illness and when I did I was like oh and then this and then THIS and then this and then THIS!!! and he asked how I had gotten through it all and I was confused by the question because it doesn't and didn't feel like I did?

Like, I get what he's saying I think - I'm physically still here so that's evidence that I coped?  But I don't feel like I did cope or am coping but maybe that's why I go to a counsellor - to get that outside perspective.

But I do not feel like I am handling things and I think too much to completely block it out.  And I'm not talking honestly about it to anyone so it's probably all just swirling and festering away inside me and that's not a good thing.

Anyway.  Just was looking at the date and realizing it's been over a month since I got sick and that the first two months of this year haven't been easy, simple, clear, or anything.

F*********ck

So, last week, we had a minor (small?  I don't know what to call them) earthquake.  

And now this week, we had a bigger small/minor earthquake.

This time, I was sitting on my couch texting my folks (my Mom caught the flu so I'm worried about her and was seeing what her doctor had said) when the earthquake hit.  This time I knew it was an earthquake (unlike last time when I thought it was someone upstairs jumping on their bed) and it was relatively long and rumbly and wobbly and what I did was?  Text my parents "earthquake."  And then it was done.

Except in my haste/stress I miss-typed and they got back to me with "what?"

To which I replied like "that was an earthquake!" and they said they hadn't felt anything at all.

I looked online.  It still hadn't been put up but earthquake canada (not the proper name but you get the gyst) had put a warning on their page and suggested "heavy shaking" which I have not seen before so then I started to worry (the shaking really frightened me) that what I'd just been through was a precursor to something worse?

I texted a few more folks and it was pretty hit and miss regarding who had felt something or nothing at all.  Eventually the quake showed up and initially they measured it as a 5.1 and I was like I KNEW THAT WAS BIGGER! but they're now showing it as around a 4.7 or so.

C-Dawg has a relative who works in some form of disaster relief and C-Dawg told me that they were expecting/predicting another one and so to stay away from windows/etc.  I sat there, looking over at the GIANT WINDOW I sit by and texted back "yeah, I can't handle this right now." or something to that effect.

Pun not intended although I know how it will sound - this one really shook me up. (Groan.)

I know that a 4.7 isn't really much but it, if you've never felt an earthquake before, is a very unsettling, unnatural, unsafe feeling.  Like for as long as it lasts you have this sense of "I can't do anything about this and it might get bad."

I found out later that day that things had actually fallen off shelves in my hallway closet.  That's a new one for me.  Now, one of those things was a packet of tissues but still... I've never known things to move/fall in this place during a quake before.

I eventually forgot about the "predicted" second earthquake but later that night someone posted about it and sure enough there was a quite small (2. something) earthquake that evening.  Bizarre to me that scientists can predict that kind of thing, but I guess they did.  Wow and yikes.

I lamented the fact that I didn't DO anything and just sat on my couch as it was happening but a buddy very kindly (and I hope correctly) pointed out that I probably internally knew there was no need to do anything and that if there had been a need, I would have done something.  I'm going to tell myself that instead.  I rode out this earthquake because a part of me knew and could tell that I could.

I might take some time to rearrange my earthquake kit stuff though.  Although maybe just a quick glance through it will reassure me.  (Like I just bought a new camping lantern and my brain was like YOU SHOULD PUT THAT IN YOUR EMERGENCY KIT but then I'd have to take it out and put it back whenever I camped or the power went out?  I don't know.)

I hope to never have to really test what I might do or how my kits might hold up.  I hope the "big one" happens outside of my life time, I'm sure we all hope that.

But yeah.  Another earthquake.  On the heels of one a week ago?  Isn't a yummy feeling.

S... I... R... I

So Siri is Apple's... what do we call it, helper thing?  And I have a couple of funny stories that revolve around it.

If you're not familiar with Siri, you "activate" it by saying "hey Siri?" to your device.  And then you can ask it something.  (I see it as a type of google/search engine but that's just me.)

So anyway..... I was in the middle of a massage this week and we were chatting about whatever and all of a sudden we hear Siri say "I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that?"  Well I start chuckling and my massage therapist is like ????

"Is that your phone?" I asked.  No, he says, but I got a speaker but I thought I turned it off?

So then of course I can't resist calling out from the massage table, HEY SIRI HOW'S THE WEATHER! while laughing away.

I think my massage therapist might rethink the smart speaker, and I figure me saying "I'm sorry but... blah blah blah" might have been "heard" as SIRI with my slightly Scottish accent?  Whatever it was I said that set it off, it was a hilarious moment of WHAT?  (for half a second I thought someone had walked in to the room!?)

The next story is from last night when I was hanging out at Jason's.  There was some spring training baseball game earlier in the day where the pitcher had taken a hit right in the head.  It looked awful to me but Jason said, no no, it was a glancing blow so he's fine.  I said no, I don't think he's fine and Jason again was like nah, it was a glancing blow, all good!  So I asked "Hey Siri, what is a glancing blow?" because I thought maybe we had different ideas of what "glancing blow" means and after the slight pause Siri says "ok, here's some information about Cocaine!" and we both burst out laughing.

Poor, sweet Siri thought I wanted to talk about blow.... as in the slang for cocaine!  HA!

So, yeah... Siri and I are having quite the week, eh?  (And yes, I resisted saying the name in the title just so as to not draw her/its attention here too!)

It's Most Probably Over

With eleven degrees temperature difference between my last day of work last week and my first day of work this week, I feel like we had our little winter and are now kind of done.

(Apparently the Jan-Feb we had were one of the coldest in a while but I find that hard to believe personally, but then again I was sick for a chunk of it so what do I know, I'm not temperature reliable for at least two of those weeks!) 

I've already had my first "throw off blankets, I'm too warm" at night nights.  I am already missing the softness of the fleece I used this year... it has been quite delightful and really, I think, did a solid job of warming up with my body temperature.

We might get another snow.  Sometimes we get a rogue early-Spring sprinkling, but right now, at least, it feels like the snow we had and the freeze we had are the end of it.  (Still with some dirty snow piles around many parking lots mind you.) 

I could, of course, be proven wrong, but we're pretty much (somehow) at the end of February and it's usually our coldest month so with March pretty close to arriving, I think it's safe enough to say we're out of the cold part of Winter.  Which makes a lot of people happy, but honestly, starts to get me stressed about heat and "too warm" times ahead.  (Can't really win with me sometimes, eh?  Sigh.)

I'm Sure That Was Well Meant

I do try not to talk about work so this feels a little uncomfy for me....

When I went in to work yesterday a colleague said that I looked "so much better than last week" that last week I looked like I had "dragged myself in".  Which, I mean, it's true!  But I also dragged myself in yesterday and felt like crap (for the morning anyway) so maybe I looked absolutely terrible last week and just didn't quite know it?

Oops?

Whatever The Reason, I Don't Like It

I've been getting very anxious in the evenings and in bed.  It sucks.  (Duh)

Over the (long) weekend, I actually had a panic attack in bed while reading.  It was hard to tell if it was the book (it was a very stressful ending and when I tried to put it down to calm down my brain just wanted to know what happened so I read the last bunch of chapters while panicking... sigh.) 

Then last night I got a little stressed while reading again.

I know the logical thing to do would be to stop reading this series/book at night and see what happens but I'm also enjoying it so I don't know.... maybe I'll read something else tonight and see what happens.

Sigh.

Oh. I Knew That?

I had just gotten in to bed Thursday night when there was a bang and my room shook like in an earthquake.

I listened to hear if the guy upstairs would get up or anything as a good portion of my brain figured he had, for whatever reason JUMPED REALLY HARD onto his bed.

A small(er) part of my brain reminded me that since I don't sleep with anything on, if it had been an earthquake and had caused any serious issues, I would have been, well, naked.  Sigh.  But I wanted to get to reading my book and so I shrugged off whatever jumping the guy upstairs was doing.  

I'm writing this on Friday evening to let you all know that the guy upstairs has a friend over right now and whatever they just did in the living room did indeed shake my place and make a banging noise but that despite this fact the thing I heard and felt on Thursday night was actually NOT him, and was, in fact, an earthquake.

One of the shortest duration ones I've ever felt (really it was like a split second BAM and over) and apparently quite nearby but fairly "small".

I think had I realized 100% it was an earthquake I wouldn't have been able to calm down enough to sleep so I guess I'm glad I let myself think the guy upstairs had just catapulted into bed.

Waking up to the news though that small part of my brain did indeed mumble "I told you it was an earthquake."  Yeah, I know.  Sorry.

I Always Find It Odd

This last week, we've been in this weird in between phase of Winter where there has been enough warmth or enough rain or enough sun or enough of all three that most of the snow is gone, except for the piles where people (or machines) shovelled.

I always find it odd, this particular in between-ness because there is no snow, the windchill is nil, but there are these little piles of unmelted snow reminding you that even though things are back to "normal" and green again, not that long ago it was all white and freezing.  

Snow bumps.  Not quite cold enough to be gone completely, but warm enough to not be everywhere.

Oh right, before I forget, happy Valentine's day!  Love you!

Sigh....

It doesn't HAVE to be said, because this is my personal online diary, not some uber popular social media conglomerate.  I don't like bringing heavy real world stuff here, especially right now when I'm finding it so so so upsetting but....

I will not be giving America any of my money until things change significantly.  That may be when a new administration comes in, it may be... never.  I don't know right now.

Since current leadership announced tariffs on certain countries, including frigging my country, many Canadians are choosing to boycott America and American products.

So for me that means some small changes in my shopping.

Now, a lot of my shopping was already fairly local due to me wanting to support local and more natural things.  As an example, I switched from a brand name deodorant to a local, more eco friendly one a while ago.  I've tried to buy more local produce and dairy and meat because, well, frankly, it tastes so so much better.  Yes, it's been more expensive, but "big brand name" butter or cheese?  Vs cheese or butter made here or within this province or on this island?  Damn, so amazingly good and different and better.  Better butter Betty batter something something.

It has meant me taking a moment to consider *which* bag of chips I'm going to buy as comfort food, and grabbing a new to me bag with "made in Canada" on it rather than the big American conglomerate bag I'm used to grabbing.  I looked into toiletries and that's a bit of a trickier one as I have very sensitive skin, but again the brand I've been using has (weirdly?) some products made here and a few produced elsewhere.  

I cried when the last election results were announced and I may have mentioned it here, but I cried with a co-worker about how this meant we'd not be travelling to the states any time soon.  "I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon" I sobbed.  "No more Disney for me" she sighed.

But even that is more of a symbolic loss as I'm not in a place to afford a trip to, say, the Grand Canyon, right now anyway.  But losing the idea of it is hard. (But I've also yet to see Banff and it's been a while since I've been in old Montréal...I can travel within this country if and when I have the financial freedom to do so.)

I've sourced some replacements for things like the beeswax lip balm I've used for years.  There are local, environmentally friendly laundry and soap companies I will try when what I have runs out.

Some things, I'll deal with when I need to like clothing.

And I'm working to keep the pressure of of myself.  Like I have to be kind to and easy on myself to not be a perfectionist with this.  I think I'm very lucky to live where I do as we have a lot of choices already.  Without really trying, I already have not been buying too too much from the states, but that has been accidental.  Now it's purposeful, and it's sad to be in this place, but here we are.

I do not support the current American government and I never thought I had to say it out loud but because things are upside down right now let me be clear - I do not support nazis, neo or otherwise.  I do not support white supremacy.  Or fascism.  I do not believe any type of human is better than any other. I hate the state of the world right now and I wish I could escape it.

So my small part, for whatever impact it may have, is not to give any of my financial support to the regime that is currently holding (stolen) power and to give my support to my own country and other countries who are still good and kind and fair and progressive.  
 

I wish America well, and I hope they come through this, but I had to let them go a while ago, and this just somehow hurts even more.  

I Was Convinced To Try

Most of the books on my library want to read list have been unavailable for me for a while now (I don't put holds on books that others have holds on as I don't know how quickly I'm going to get through a book and so don't want the pressure and like to be able to renew!) and so I let myself buy a few books over the holidays as a treat. (I used to spend SO much money on books and have cut back on that for the savings both financial and space in my place!)

I don't particularly follow book stuff on social media but I still see people talk about books they liked from time to time and this one series kept coming up.  I don't want to spoiler anything for anyone so if you're thinking of reading a book by Sarah J Maas, stop reading now just in case!

I heard a LOT of people talking about this book and how good it was and so on a whim, without particularly researching other than it appeared to be a fantasy novel (which I'm good with) I bought it.  I also bought another book that had come highly recommended and then laughed to find out they were by the same author.  I guess she's popular!

So when I hit a point of "no books to reserve" at the library (none with zero holds) I dug in to my bottom drawer where I keep my "to be read" purchases.

Now, a few months before I'd been chatting with my dental hygienist and she happened to mention that her friend had recommended this book to her and she was reading it and had no idea that she was reading fairy porn!  I laughed and then she mentioned the title of the book and it was one of the ones I'd bought, so I laughed and said well at least now I've been forewarned!

So I knew going in to this book that there would be um... non human creature love making stuff and I wasn't bothered by that but no one warned me or mentioned that this book was a retelling of frigging Beauty and the Beast.  (I've since googled the book and the author is very clear with this fact and it's mentioned in reviews but I didn't look up the book before I bought it so that's on me!)

Like such a retelling that I actually actively rolled my eyes a good handful of times during the book.  I was annoyed.  

I can't say I really enjoyed the book and the OMG THIS IS JUST BEAUTY AND THE BEAST GOD DAMNIT really got on my nerves but then the end of the book was intriguing or cliff hanger enough that I wondered where the author was taking the next book.  (I knew it was the first in a series.)

So this was a couple of weeks ago when I was unwell but on the mend.  It was our first real cold snap of the season and year and they were predicting snow.  I can't remember if I was on antibiotics then or just raw dogging it but I threw on my layers, grabbed the gift card I'd been given for a local book shop and walked my way down town.  Both to see if I could do it without coughing too much (spoiler, I did but not hideously) and to ensure I had a good book to read if the snow did end up showing up.

I can't remember ever not liking the first book in a series and then going ahead and reading the next book in the series so this may be a first!  But I am enjoying the second book more than the first and it's a big thick book which is always somehow satisfying to know there's "that much" story to get through.

It's got me hooked enough that I'm not just reading it in bed, but am actually taking it out of my bedroom to read on my couch when I'm resting during the day.  Rad!

So yeah, I can't say I'm a huge fan of the book or books and I have to remember not to let myself be swayed by online raves, but it's nice to have a book I'm interested in reading and have as much time as I want to get through it.  Plus the gift card made it basically free, WOO HOO BOOKS! YAY!

 

Lots

I really (really) didn't want to go back to work (as I'm well enough to do so after two and a half weeks off.)

As I was lying in bed on Saturday night, looking grumpily forward to Monday morning and having to get up and go to work the thought popped into my head that being sick when you live alone is a full time job.

Now I know that living with others doesn't guarantee that anything is different and that for parents, most especially mothers, being sick just means doing all the things while sick so I'm fortunate in that I have no one else I'm responsible for, but for me, at least, the last few weeks of being sick were a lot of work.

Any food consumed?  I had to find it, make it, go out and buy it and clean up after it.  I had to try to keep on top of laundry, especially in the early days of being very sick, feeling like I was breathing germs on everything.  Cleaning whatever needed cleaned (dishes, floors, surfaces, self), watching the weather and deciding to push to get groceries before the possible snow came.  Working hard to keep hydrated.  Keeping the kettle going to keep warm water ready for hot water bottles and drinks and steam.  Remembering to take medications at the right times.  Maintaining an apartment (garbage, recycling, etc.)

I mean I do all these things all the time by myself anyway but I think it was the fact I was returning to work after two weeks of not really NOT working.  I mean sure, there was a LOT of time, hours and hours a day spent on my couch and then in bed, but I do not feel rested.  I do not feel like "ahhh that was a lovely break!"  It wasn't a break.  I guess that's what I'm saying.  What I'm kind of whining about.

Like this weekend, thinking about going back to work I felt very sorry for myself and like I wanted to take a week off just to relax and enjoy some down time after the stupid not fun ick yucky time I just went through.

My days when I wasn't well were awful.  And it's not like I could look forward to going to bed and sleeping.  I distinctly remember going to bed one night and thinking "what fresh hell awaits me tonight?"  So there wasn't even 'ahhh bed' to look forward to or get me through a day.  

Soooooo yeah, feeling sorry for myself I suppose and whining since I'm allowed to here! 

Life keeps happening, doesn't it.  No matter what.

We Progress

Y'all?!  Two days without needing/taking a nap!

Also two days off of antibiotics (this may be purely co-incidental....)

By the time this posts it may even be three days sans nap, woo hoo!

I also got back to aqua fitness, which I was mentally starting to feel like I might never as my motivation to do much has been shot for weeks now with this bug and sickness. (I took a puff of inhaler right before I went in to the pool and still coughed a bit but not too much and I was thrilled to make it through the whole class yay!)

In less great news I have put on more weight than I lost.  This is likely mainly on me as after a week of no appetite I was happy to be wanting any food at all but I did not watch what I was eating and allowed myself quite a bit of junk (chocolate and chips I'm looking at you!) but the idea of making a meal was overwhelming and the pre-made meals I bought (like a frozen burrito) just did not appeal and I justified to myself that I was getting calories in me even if they weren't great, but for all sorts of reasons I'm sure (including age and hormones and having been sick) my body packed on too much weight in the last week or two and I am not not happy about or ok with that. But that's not really what I intended to come here to post about.

So yeah, I haven't needed or taken a nap in a couple of days and I'm off of the antibiotics and only using the inhaler when I feel I really need it or expect I might need it.

Don't get sick.  That's my advice.  Advice you're likely already in agreement with and doing your best with!  I'm now working on getting back to better and avoiding anything like this any time or ever again (if that's possible.)

One Final Addition

My (so grateful for her!) doctor had mentioned that if my cough didn't significantly improve on the antibiotics that she could prescribe an inhaler to help ease things a bit more.

I think it was Tuesday by the time I figured that while I was certainly no longer sickly sick sick, my cough was rather stuck and the worst part about that that while sitting on a couch under blankets was fine, trying to move (go for a walk) and most importantly trying to talk would result in coughing spells.

I'm sure there are some jobs where you don't need to talk much (solitary type jobs?) but that's not the case for me and I couldn't see being able to properly do my job for who knows how much longer with this cough attack every time I tried to converse.  So... I asked for the inhaler (even though I wasn't really wanting to... I figured I could get it and not use it worst case?)

Now this isn't important to the story, but we got a cold snap and snow this week.  Which put my now worried brain into a little bit of a predicament.

My doctor called in the prescription for this inhaler on the morning of the day we got the worst of the snow (even though it wasn't ALL that much in parts of town it was enough to cause issues, especially with frozen stuff under it... as often happens here) with calls of more snow the next day as well as freezing temperatures not letting things melt off.

I eyeballed the roads all day and by mid afternoon I was like you know what?  I'm going to give this a go.  I figured enough people had been around and about and the temps were maybe above freezing and it would probably be fine.  Except for that big hill I have to go up and down to get to my pharmacy but, yeah, I'll give this a go.... worst case, uh, I get stuck?  Or uh oh double worst case I hit something AND get stuck.  Ugh.  I got quite anxious about it, which is never a good way to drive and as I was heading out the door I texted Jason "well I'm going to give it a try, hope it's not dumb of me?" and he was like welll, why don't I throw some clothes on and take you.  Well, ok sure.

That feels maybe a bit wimpy for me but also why turn down an offer of help, plus human company! (That I've not had in weeks!!!! - I wore a mask just in case.)  Long story short I likely would have been fine but Jason in his "I grew up in Alberta" (translation - I can actually drive in this stuff) and "have a 4x4 with winter tires" still got stuck a couple of times, and had that been me?  Not sure I would have been able to finesse my way out of that.  Also, on the way back to my place he was trying to show me what "black ice" looks like (what I think of as wet road he sees as black ice when the temps are under 0... fair enough) and then we got to the road near my place and I was like "THAT, that's... hey... wait... is that ICE?" And yes, sure enough, there was about half a block of (side) road near me that was actual ice.  Like not compacted snow, not melted ice now freezing but ACTUAL ice cube looking ice on top of the road.  Damn! So just safer that he offered to help.  And appreciated.  I'd probably have been fine but there were a good few spots I might not have been and in the state I'm in, dealing with potential snow based problems did not seem like fun!

So anyway, I got a type of inhaler that's not a steroid (which is what I had expected) and after learning how to use it (hopefully properly) I got home and had a puff and yeah, it helped.  Like pretty suddenly there was no longer an urge to cough.  Aaaaah nice.  And then when I did cough it was different.  More productive (ew?) and less lengthy... like a cough or two rather than ten or twenty.

It didn't last hours and hours, and when I went to bed I chose not to have another puff (I'm to have 2-3 a day as needed and I don't want to get hooked on it or anything, not that that's even necessarily a risk, I dunno???) and coughed the regular amount.  (But once I'm asleep these last few days I haven't been waking to cough.... knock on wood.)  The next morning I was trying to do my light exercise and started hacking and so was like ok time for a puff and yeah it helps.

So yes, miracles of modern medicine indeed.  Very grateful for them and for having access to a doctor who will prescribe them and having coverage to help pay for them.  Grateful all round for sure.  Cold meds, antibiotics, an inhaler, a neti pot and some steam (when I remember to do it) inhalation have gotten me through this.  Really hoping I'm almost through too!  Would love to get back to more normal life and health.