Weddings are weird when you're single. It's a massive orgy of coupledom: The happy couple in all their wedding blissfulness. The couples who've been together for a while getting all smoochy and romantic and maybe even talking about the day when they might join their lives together. The new couples, kind of embarrassed that they're at a wedding together. Maybe it's their first big date. Maybe it's their first official outing together. The older married couples who have been married longer than you've been alive. Couples everywhere. A plethora of couples.
I've only been to a wedding with a boyfriend once or twice. Both times were a little awkward because people inevitably asked us when our big day was coming up and there was a lot of smiling and laughing and secretly wondering what he might say if I asked him the same thing.
When you're single at a wedding, it's equally awkward, but in a different way. When you're single, you feel like the third wheel. Times fifty. The people you're with will all go through some sort of romantic moment, during the ceremony, or reception or dancing. And you won't. And no matter how secure you are in your singleness, at some point, seeing all this will make you feel very single and alone. It'll be a reminder that you don't have someone there to share the moment with and you don't have someone to create romantic moments with.
At some point, someone may try to set you up with their drunk single friend who's at the party, but I'm not a fan of the drunk ones so I usually point them in the direction of the equally drunk bridesmaids.
Don't get me wrong. I love weddings. I cry at them. Even at ones on tv. I enjoy weddings and am glad I've been to the ones I have. It just sometimes is a tricky thing to survive when you're a single girl. Maybe when I get married, I'll make sure to seat all the couples in a different area than the single folks. Or maybe by the time I get married I'll be the last single woman alive so it won't matter anyway.
9 comments:
I can so relate to that...but from my angle. It's just as weird being the gay couple at a wedding that have been together twenty years, have watched all your friends and family get hitched one by one over time until it's just us, left hanging in limbo land. Not that I'm bitter of course...we keep smiling at these events...through gritted teeth.
Hahahah!! Weddings are such a weird topic when you're not married yourself!
I've only been to 4 weddings in my life but the first one doesn't count because I was a kid and I was late for the event anyways and I didn't really care. So 3 weddings. The first real wedding I went to was my close friend's Special Day. She married an american so she wanted the bridesmades with the groomsmen to walk the aisle infront of the bride and groom. In Estonia we don't ever do that. Never.
And so the Big Day came! As the people were all sitting in their seats waiting for the bride and groom to appear, the church doors open and the first people to walk the aisle were me and my boyfriend of 4 months. Talk about the awkwardness! Yep. And later on I was also the flower girl and as people handed me the flowers they congratulated us as well and gave us the *wink*. Every single person who knew we were a couple. EVERYONE!
Well, first of all, look at all of you, awake and commenting while I was dead asleep! Time zones are coooooooool. ; )
todemesne: that must be frustrating and maybe even weirder... knowing you've got the love and romance but not being able to... have a wedding. Keep on smiling and I'll be bitter on your behalf! ;)
ryan: yeah. definitely "orsawchp" heh. I have to tell you, dancing badly is WAY better than not dancing at all. Really! Do dance away, you. And then go ask the cute, shy chics if they want to dance badly! I looked at a few things from your brother's wedding a week or so ago, but I'll check it out some more later. I'm close to running late for work right now! Whoops!
ancelyna: totally weird eh? I think your story about the american tradition in Estonia is hilarous! Everyone must have really wondered for a moment if you had decided to hijack the day for your own wedding! ;) Maybe we need some sort of sign around our necks..."no, we're not getting married, so please don't ask!" tee hee!
Thanks for the comments folks! You made my morning :)
Well after my rant I might add that we can now legally marry in the UK and we are tying the knot next year. And guess what? We are skipping the wedding bit and just having our two closest friends at the ceremony. My family are furious! Hee hee!
Wheeeeee! Congrats :) That'll be so much fun, good for you!
You could marry here in Canada too :D
I was married once...the wedding was very awkward and I should have known then what I was in for!!!! So, don't rule out the fact that even married folks, or those getting married, feel "different" at a wedding....argh.... but I am feeling much better now.
heh. glad to hear you're feeling better : ) Good to know that even those in the land of coupledom may be feeling a little out of sorts at a wedding! Guess the grass isn't always greener eh? ; )
Whoo! I just got in from my cross country move, and finally got a second to sit down. I see you've got a few posts here since Monday, yay! But yeah, weddings can be weird. It's also weird when it's, say, your father's wedding to his new wife and you're in the wedding as a bridesmaid. I danced with my new stepbrother whom I had never met, and it was weird. Really weird. Yeesh. I think I would've preferred to be single in the corner someplace instead (like at my cousin's wedding!). >_<
Woah! Cross country move? Did you survive? (well, obviously silly!) Are you totally tired and exhausted? I am just thinking about it.
Ooh, never thought of that one! New parentage wedding. Awkward, for sure.
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