Friday, 15 September 2006

Someone Has to be First


At some point in a relationship, you usually ask your partner to tell you about their first time.

Or, at least, I do.

I like to hear about how old he was and who it was with and how it went and what he thought about it all.

My first time story is kind of funny to me (now). I was lucky that the experience wasn't horrible or frightening, but it certainly wasn't what I'd hoped. If I'm honest, I was disappointed. I've never been the type of woman who dreamed about their wedding day, but I waited a long time to lose my virginity and I had ideas about how it would be and what I would think and what the guy would say and what it all would mean. When I saw the movie Stealing Beauty, I cried, because *that* was the way I had wanted to lose my virginity. Romantically, lovingly, with a guy I adored. Something meaningful and wonderful. In the Italian countryside.

My first time had lots of the things I'd hoped for. I adored the fellow. I was sure I was in love. (I might just have been. It certainly seemed like it at the time.)

The entire situation was romantic, in my mind. It might not have been Italy, but I was away from home in a residence room of my very own. I had finally found a real boyfriend. We liked each other very much. The kissing and stuff was going well. We held hands a lot, gazed into each other's eyes all the time, and exchanged meaningful platitudes.

We certainly felt lovingly towards each other and I was nervously anticipating what was going to be a wonderful first time.

So. Love? Check. Guy I adored? Check. Romance? Sure!

So what happened that evening that was less than... perfect?

Well, I won't get too much into the details, I'll retain some sense of decorum, but, let's just say it was my first time but not his, there was a condom that neither of us knew how to use, there was a very romantic phrase uttered by yours truly which was not acknowledged in the slightest, there was some ejaculation of the premature type and, finally, there was me pretending it was ok because he was so upset he wouldn't even speak to me or look at me.

The good news is that we did care about each other and while the experience wasn't what I hoped, it wasn't horrible.

I feel badly though and sometimes wish I could travel back in time and tell myself that that particular moment wasn't going to be the one I wanted it to be.

Now, however, I like that I have a first time story that I find amusing. And, trust me, when you hear the whole story with all the details, it's amusing. I used to be disappointed that my first time wasn't as romantic and perfect as I would have liked but I'm ok with that now. Because while there may only be one true first time? There will be a first time with each new relationship. And those upcoming times have a shot at fulfilling my every romantic dream.

Yes, Mr. Perfect, that's a challenge.

6 Comments:

Blogger danish said...

...dang. That doesn't sound like a fantastically wonderful first. But hey, you have a wonderful attitude about the whole ordeal. And also, you bring up a very good point that I think a lot of us (or at the very least, me) forget--as you said, with every new relationship, there is a first time. I think a lot of people get stuck on their past...doings, and that prevents them from fully appreciating and experiencing the present. So... very nice post indeed, Miss Victoria =)

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 10:28:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

well thank you very much!

: D

Wednesday, September 20, 2006 7:32:00 am  
Blogger Paola said...

I love Stealing Beauty! just reading your archives now, and you are a wonderful writer

Thursday, April 30, 2009 3:03:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Stealing Beauty is awesome! :D

And, thanks!*blush*

Thursday, April 30, 2009 4:30:00 pm  
Blogger the one in the back said...

You just reminded me of what my good friend told me once (it was advice passed down to him from his mother):

"Making love is like dancing. You step on toes the first time around. But the more you do it, the better you become."
To which he adds: "It also helps if you have a good partner."

The challenge is made, indeed. All the best to you and the lucky fellow, I suppose ;)

BTW, check out "Before Sunrise," should you be interested in more romance. It's not perfect but it definitely gets to me right here, ::<3::.

Saturday, January 30, 2010 11:00:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

That's a good way to look at it. :)

Saturday, January 30, 2010 11:16:00 pm  

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