Thursday, 27 September 2007

I Know

I'm supposed to be feeling, or not feeling, certain things in regards to Smith by now. Or so I figure.

See, it's easy enough to be on the outside looking in.

I can give my girlfriends advice about their relationships and when to move on and why their Ex wasn't worth it.

I can read other people's stories and feel like it's clear who they should be with and who's not right for them.

I know what I'd be telling me were I an outside observer and I know what my friends and family and many of you are telling me.

But here, on the inside, the answer doesn't seem so clear.

Which must be frustrating for those of you on the outside.

Sometimes I think the only person who maybe comes close to understanding why things are still fuzzy in my brain is Smith.

I know that years from now I'll understand what was meant to be between the two of us and I'll have learned and grown and fallen in love again.

I just don't know, yet, with whom.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm on the same page as you sister. I just re-read the Smith saga. (And jumped out of my seat when I saw you had that SYTYCD clip! I felt the SAME WAY!). Getting dumped unexpectedly by a guy that you felt you were on the same page with is just rocks your whole world off kilter. So of course it takes a while to get it spinning straight again. A loooooong while. I don't think there's anything that makes it better but time. At least, not that I've found so far. At least take comfort that you aren't the only one going through it. There's a lot of us.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 8:48:00 am  
Blogger Delton said...

Again with this guy!?!?! J/K.

If my memory serves me (which is questionable these days) back in my pre-married days, there were plenty of times when I'd be stuck on someone from the past for a long, long time. It fades, little by little, but its just part of the process. Dump it out here, I'm sure the talking helps a bit anyway.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 9:25:00 am  
Blogger Princess of the Universe said...

It really hasn't been so long that people should be giving you a hard time for not "getting over it."

It's impossible to know what goes on within a relationship unless you're one of the two people.

It makes me sad that your "people" are trying to rush you...

Thursday, September 27, 2007 1:13:00 pm  
Blogger The Single Girl said...

No one ever really knows what happened in a relationship except for you and the person you were in it with. As I muddle through my break up I am feeling bad for any time I have ever thought that my friend should just "get over it" because for the first time in about a decade I am realizing that when you really allow yourself to feel something for someone and it ends it hurts for a long time. Don't beat yourself up, you are doing the best you can and that is great.


Thursday, September 27, 2007 3:16:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Ok, first of all, thank you all SO much for your awesome comments. Wow.

You really do rock!

Thursday, September 27, 2007 8:13:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

A Martini.... Thanks. I appreciate hearing you're on the same page n stuff. And yes, the unexpected dumping when I thought we were on the same page has rocked my world...but I hadn't thought about it quite that clearly so thanks... And yes, I guess it will just take time. And I can't hurry it as much as I might like to... It's also good to know I'm not the only one. Makes me feel less "stupid" or whatever.
(So glad you liked the SYTYCD thingy too! eeeee!)

Thursday, September 27, 2007 8:20:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Delton, I'm not sure my memory serves for things that happened yesterday nevermind a while ago! hee.
It's good to hear that it's "OK" to be stuck on someone for a (seemingly) long time. The fading is happening, I think.... I hope? Dumping it out, as you say helps sometimes. True enough. Thanks.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 8:24:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Princess, thank you very much for telling me that it "hasn't been so long", it's nice to hear that from an outside perspective. And yes, it's very true that only the people in the relationship know what goes on....I just often like to hear an outside perspective to ensure I'm not missing something obvious by being "blinded" by love, you know?
I think in terms of my peeps trying to rush me, I was thinking about that. I have a lot of pretty strong girlfriends and I know they have my best interests at heart but also wonder if maybe they're very different from me emotionally and romantically.... That's why I appreciate this blog and the comments of people not in my inner circle so that I can maintain another perspective, so thanks.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 8:29:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

TSG, OK, I won't beat myself up if you won't.... I know what you mean about telling other people to get over it, it seems SO simple from the outside, eh? But, yes. It is true what you said "when you really allow yourself to feel something for someone and it ends it hurts for a long time." True.

Very true.


Thursday, September 27, 2007 8:32:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Hugs y'all.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 8:32:00 pm  
Blogger Tod said...

When you're ready you'll know. :)

Friday, September 28, 2007 3:04:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks... I think I will too. : )


Friday, September 28, 2007 9:20:00 pm  

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