To the Twenty Something Guy Who Apparently Lives in my Building

Hey listen,

I'm really happy that you're young and in love lust and drunk, but dude, it's 2 am.

If we ignore the fact that I'm still awake because of super secret spy work that must be done this weekend and is keeping me up anyway, blasting your music with your doors wide open at this time is...well... not cool.

I mean, turning on your engine every 20 minutes to get the heater going, well that's understandable I suppose, sometimes you just don't want to say goodbye, but bro? Once you've stepped out of the vehicle it's bedtime. Not talk really loud because you've had eight beers and can't tell you're being loud and blast the first thirty seconds of a song that sounds like the intro to a bad movie over and over time.

So, next time you're feeling like not quite inviting your new girlfriend inside, would you mind holding your loud mating ritual on the street instead of under our windows? That'd be cool.

Thanks,
Victoria

PS Your breath smells stinky. She's just not sober enough to know. Trust me. Been there, kissed that. *shudder* (What is it with stale beer breath anyway?)