Friday, 25 July 2008


These past few days have made me thoughtful; full of thought and the one that's swirling in my head the most right now is the memory from two nights ago of spotting DD in the grocery store.

How is it that after so many years, I can walk down the aisle of a grocery store, glance up, see someone's back a t-shirt, a curl of hair sticking out from under a ball cap and know, just *know* it's him?

How is it that I can have slept with other people since him, have fallen in and out of love with other people since him, and still, still I'm shaken by him showing up again?

Are there different levels of getting over someone? Or did I always know I was still missing him? And if so, what, exactly, was it that I missed?

I can't get it back, I see that now. There's no attraction there anymore and my life's not in a place where I'd put up with his sh*t anymore. But there was. And I did.

And I'm trying to figure out why it was so familiar to see him again. Why I could almost feel him when I turned down the aisle the other night.

Will I ever be able to pass him in a crowd without knowing or is he imprinted forever in my memory?



Anonymous Angella said...

I don't know the answer...just sending a hug :)

Friday, July 25, 2008 12:37:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks! Hugs are welcome :)

Friday, July 25, 2008 1:29:00 pm  
Anonymous stepping over the junk said...

I have someone kind of like that. We never dated but he keeps me from being able to ever fully invest in something else because although he doesnt want to be with me, I still see him around and hits me like a rock when I do. I'm sorry, that must be tough for you.

Monday, July 28, 2008 5:41:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks. Good in a way to know someone else is going /has gone through the same or a similar thing/feeling. Thanks for sharing. :)

Monday, July 28, 2008 7:48:00 pm  
Blogger Jonathan said...

I often think I've seen somebody I used to hang around with a lot - the bob of a girl's ponytail, the shape of some girl's shoulders...

I wonder what it means - did I love her?

I only have the imprint of her though - nobody else.


Wednesday, July 30, 2008 2:09:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

That is weird. And somehow? Makes me feel better :)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008 10:43:00 am  

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