I've mentioned it a couple of times here before how sometimes the littlest things make me feel suddenly very single and sad. (And yes, haven't there been a lot of posts lately about being single? Hmmm, something for me to ponder perhaps?)
A co-worker spy friend of mine came running into our staff-cave at lunch yesterday all excited because she'd just heard that her (new) husband and her's offer on a house had been accepted.
And as happy as I was for them, I all of a sudden felt like some kind of "Game of Grownup" failure.
No new house with my husband for me.
Um, in fact, no boyfriend, rented apartment.
And on most days that's just fine, and on many days it's better than fine, yesterday for a couple of hours it wasn't.
Which isn't a nice feeling.
But don't worry. My apartment and singleness and I are just fine.
10 comments:
Yeah, I know what you mean. When Chris and I split and the rug was pulled out from under my life, I often struggled with the idea that I'd failed at keeping up with the Joneses. Every so often it comes back to bite me. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is MY life, and it shouldn't be dictated by what the Joneses are doing with theirs.
you know what though? sometimes? i have a little fantasy(just for a moment or two, here and there) about hanging curtains in my little one room bungalow somewhere warm and sunny, a bungalow for just me...
so, you know, sometimes it goes both ways. cuz i love in my guy and my home, too...but sometimes i remember how much i really enjoyed being single, too.
As you know, I often feel lonely and miserable. I comfort myself with thoughts of my married friends who are lonely and miserable too but have a man child at home to take care of. I'd much rather come home to an empty house. But really, I'd much rather come home to someone that makes me laugh. If only I could make that guy out of thin air and hard work. Sigh.
Laura, it's worth reminding ourselves not to worry about the Jonses, for sure!
Dilling, cuts both ways, absolutely. :)
EB, thin air and hard work....if only indeed ;)
Ah! I hear ya.
Yeppers SG.
I hear you loud and clear!
I think I'm coming to terms with the idea that The Universe wants me to be single and all the crap I go through with dating/boys is solely for the purpose of entertaining my friends and family.
The things I do for them. ;)
(so it's not really a failure, just needed to change my perspective!)
But you do have a kick-ass job and a Master's degree! A student at 42, I feel like I'm starting all ovr from scratch.
*wild applause for you Y* :D
Victoria, I totally and completely relate. Single at 30 and just had to move back with my parent's for non-paying internship!
Yvonne, I agree with you too! My friends say they don't need Sex in the City, they just listen to me talk about my life!
Thanks Bridget :) And good luck with things! :D
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