Exhausted

Really. I exhausted myself. It was the strangest thing.

I'm used to being tired, and there are times where I'll say "I'm exhausted." and will feel it and mean it. But something this weekend was different.

I've been burning the candle a bit too hard, much, both ends ish of late. I think it started with the long weekend and the extra day off to sleep in on. And the sleeping in turned into staying up late and after three days of that it was harder to fall asleep.

Add to that a book that although I'm not exactly enjoying it, I'm determined to finish if only because it means I'll be able to read something else and somehow I can read it for hours at a time drudging along and before I know it it's much much later than I'd intended but when the lights'd go out no sleep would come.

I'm used to this sometimes, too, but it's hard when I'm physically drained and tired and still, the sleep stays away, nothing seems to flip the Off switch.

So there's a few days of little, bad sleep and that takes its toll. And then there was this weirdness wherein I didn't want to eat. Wasn't hungry. And when I did make myself eat because I thought I should, I couldn't eat much more than a slice of toast or two. I went out for dinner twice. Ordered meals and left 90% of it on the table, actually shuddering with the thought of having to eat any more. Very strange.

And then there were long, good, but long walks. A few days in a row. Excellent. Exercise. Good.

But what I didn't know, and have only figured out with the 20-20 of hindsight is that no sleep + little food + no protein + exertion = exhaustion.

I've never experienced anything like it while well. And by that, I mean, that I've felt like this before, but usually during or after a bout with an illness.

See, I couldn't move. Woke up Saturday morning and made it from bed to couch. Tried to read. Decided to nap instead. (Friday night had been a not sleep night. Maybe a few hours from 4 til 7 or 8) Woke up from said nap an hour later, disoriented. Thought it was Tuesday. It wasn't. Went back to sleep.

Woke up again four hours later.

Realized it was the afternoon and I hadn't eaten or drank anything all day. Decided it would probably be a good idea to do something about this, but couldn't get over the fact of how absolutely drained I felt. So so heavy.

Couldn't figure out if I was depressed or sick or just physically exhausted.

I stumbled, literally, to the closest grocery store. (I'd thought of driving, but decided against it after managing to put my underwear on backwards, trip over my feet when trying to stand up and drop my keys three times in a row.) Bought myself one of those pre-roasted hot chickens, walked home feeling like I'd just done the most amazing thing walking all that way (all of 10 minutes) all by myself, came home, sat down to eat it and felt like I imagine a vampire must feel when finally sinking their teeth into a good vein.

I remember actually thinking "it's like I'm coming back to life" which I bet the cells in my body were.

I slept better that night too and took it easy physically on Sunday (was that only yesterday?) and am going to make sure that if I'm not hungry in the future I at least manage to eat some protein so my body has some fuel.

So, I was literally exhausted this weekend and missed out on some fun stuff. What did you get up to? And was it fun?