Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Highly Overactive Guilt Complex

I got in trouble this weekend for something I didn't do.

No, I didn't get in trouble for not doing something, I got in trouble for something someone else did.

But I'm still feeling guilty for it.

The person who contacted me was standing up for their worker and letting me know that the way I'd responded to her on my email wasn't appropriate and that no one deserves to be spoken to that way.

I was confused.

I told her so.

She didn't exactly apologize for making the mistake but I sat there defending myself, the whole time wondering why I felt so guilty.

I emailed her later and she said she'd known as soon as she'd spoken to me that it wasn't me who'd sent the email and that we just had similar email addresses.

What I can't figure out is why I'm so upset that a stranger thought I'd done something mean. I also can't figure out why I felt so bad and so guilty even though I *knew* I hadn't done it.

I mean, you guys, I even checked my sent emails to see if someone had hacked my account and said something nasty via my email. Nope.

The whole thing was weird. And I still feel like I have to get to the bottom of it and clear my name one thousand percent.

Which is weird.

It's just that I'm not a mean person and I don't say mean things even if I think them and I'd never send a mean email to someone who was just doing their job.

So why do I feel like I did something wrong? And like people hate me for it?

And why did I babble and babble at this woman when the larger part of my brain was going "Dude, I have no idea what she's talking about."

I think I'm more than glad that last week is over.

Moving on.


Blogger Stephanie Hunter said...

I totally understand what you are saying! I have this need to be a peacemaker, and to make sure everyone else is ok. And, I feel responsible when someone else is upset or mad, or whatever- even if it has nothing to do with me. It's hard work learning that not everything is my fault. All this to say, I understand your need to "clear your name." Totally get it. It will be ok.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010 10:54:00 am  
Blogger TL said...

I had a voicemail from a guy named Pat today who left me the serial numbers for his skidoos.... Random work calls are confusing!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010 6:24:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Stephanie, really :)

Oooh, that's a good one TL!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010 6:35:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man! I totally understand this. I had a weird conversation with a work friend over *cough* *cough* a couple of drinks. I find that sometimes when I have no alterer motive, people assume the worst. Because "why would someone do something just to be nice, or they just want to be helpful." And that's what happened and yet I still felt guilt! Maybe because I'm worried that perhaps my subconscious had the alterer motive, a motive so secret even I didn't know about it. Madness.

And yet long after my friend has forgotten this, I'm still bothered and left researching overactive guilt complex on the internet.

Saturday, October 27, 2012 11:18:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

If only we could shut our brains up, eh?

Saturday, October 27, 2012 7:37:00 pm  

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