So not long after I finished typing out yesterday's post, I checked my messages and the guy had just sent me one.
I could have re-written or deleted yesterday's post, but it's what had been going through my mind for the week or so since I'd had the date with him and so I figured I'd just keep the post.
The message he sent me said that he had enjoyed meeting me but that he's finding that when he meets new people his old relationship (read: marriage) still echoes and he needs to sort through that and what it means and who he is going to be with new people.
I understand that and can respect it and I'm glad he let me know instead of just ignoring me.
There is, of course, a small part of me that wonders if maybe then he shouldn't *be* on an online dating site, but I think that's just me trying to be bitter and I know people go on those sites for a bunch of different reasons and he was clear he wasn't looking for a relationship.
So there you go.
Consider yourselves up-updated.
7 comments:
Hmphf, well then - I am all for the being honest thing - but I like you sometimes wish that we all were more honest with ourselves first before doing things like online dating. Maybe he didn't think the whole process through. I'm sorry dear - but I guess count it as a practice date so you'll be more you for the next one.
Kudos for being honest.
ButtKick for being a tad misleading.
Better luck next time-- plus, now that he knows you, once things are done, he may call back...
~Kas
Dating is so weird. It is good that he let you know something though. :)
Yeah SnP, maybe he hadn't thought it all the way through? But, yes, practice :)
I agree Kas, Kudos and buttkick! :D
Totally weird TL, but yes :)
i really enjoy your blog :)
Ellen Ross
Ask Away Advice Blog
www.ellenross.blogspot.com
He was honest and credit should be given there. As for being honest with himself and figuring things out before he put himself into a dating site...?
How many of us have "ME" that well figured out? Are we always honest with ourselves AND do we really believe we have all the answers before we act on something? He seems to be trying to break out of the 'funk' that he was in due to his now failed marriage. He may have jumped too early but at least he made the decision to jump. I would say that's the hardest part. (*looks around at people intimidated by dating*)
Failed marriage, iirc, is on the top five of most stressful life events along with death and jail. Not making excuses, just sayin' ;)
From experience (and I have some) take this time and have fun with it. If it's not life threatening, then it's not serious. (plenty will argue that point but... meh) Enjoy life, enjoy the interactions and if it doesn't work out then move on.
Trust me when I tell you I didn't used to think this way and my blood pressure was through the roof because of it. ... and I thought I knew me and had things figured out.
Have an internet cat ^..^ She'll make you feel warm and fuzzy.
It's always good to touch the ground once in a while and think; "My life doesn't suck and wow, look at that, I didn't get hit by a bus today" (or insert other similar/devastating tragedy)
Simplifying things but...
Thanks Ellen.
Good input Claus, thanks.
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