I discovered, while rooting around in my chest of drawers this weekend that the condoms I bought were set to expire this month.
Which means I bought them a long time ago and haven't used them.
I didn't know if this was funny or sad or a bit of both so I've decided they were cursed.
Like, having them was what was keeping me from being intimate or whatever because like the Universe was all "hmmm, she's overly confident that she's going to be needing these so I'm going to prove her wrong!"
I fully believe that both the man and the woman should be responsible for birth control and protecting themselves against STDs so I've always had a condom or two in my purse and drawer. Now I figure I've changed enough that I'm probably not going to need a condom in a rush. The way I feel about how I want to go into my next relationship, I think I'd have enough time between meeting the guy and getting to know him to head to a shop to buy some, so I'm not going to replenish my supply just in case I was weirdly karmically cursing myself out of a relationship.
But yeah, I haven't had (*whispers* s.....e.....x) in so long, my condoms expired.
If only I could find that as funny as it probably is.