Monday, 7 May 2012

That Damn Book

I first heard about it on the internet. One of the blogs I read blushed guiltily at having devoured Fifty Shades of Grey. And needing a distraction and a little fun, I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon too, and enjoy me a little "adult romance", (for mature audiences only.)

Now the last thing I thought I'd feel after reading this internet sensation of a sexy romance book was sad. I figured I'd be giggly or, well, whatever else one feels after reading some good raunchy sex scenes if you know what I'm saying, but I didn't expect to cry.

But cry I did.

And as I kept reading, I got more and more sad.

If you take out the sex part of the book, the male lead is everything I would dream about in a guy. He's gorgeous. He's a billionaire. He's self possessed and confident.

He's completely enamored of the lead female and can't keep away from her. He lavishes her with gifts and wants to protect her and take care of her and do what's best for her.

She misses him and he flies to be with her.

She challenges him and he adores her for it.

I know this is how romance novels go, I've read my share of them. There's a feisty, independent, flawed woman (many of them are clumsy and don't see their own beauty) and there's a wildly handsome and unattainable man who falls for her and they struggle through all these insurmountable problems and she leaves for a while because she can't put up with his issue but he changes for her and bing bang boom they end up together because it's meant to be and who can ignore that electric pull anyway and she's so worth him becoming a better man for.

And I'm usually just fine with this plot line and get all happy and giggly at the end and enjoy the naughty bits all the way through, but this time this book just hit me sideways.

Maybe it's because I met Steve last week and he wasn't "drawn to me like a moth to flame" and he hasn't "been unable to keep away" from me and seeing that stark contrast just made me sad. Where is my perfect guy who is utterly drawn to me?

By the time I'd finished the book on Saturday I was miserable.

And when I'm sad and miserable, my brain shouts all the nastiest things at me (fat, ugly, useless, no one loves you, no one even likes you) and that just makes everything all the worse.

But after eating a ridiculous amount of chocolate and popcorn and wanting to sit and wallow in how awful that damn book had made me feel, I took myself to the gym and felt better by the time I got home.

Maybe someone should go around putting a warning label on these books. Not "mature audience", but "do not read if feeling low about your current romantic situation".

Cuz then I would have waited a while to read that damn book. And my weekend might not have been so damn sad.


Anonymous Dominic said...


the male lead is everything I would dream about in a guy. He's gorgeous. He's a billionaire. He's self possessed and confident.

Given those criteria, it appears your next boyfriend should be Iron man :)

Monday, May 07, 2012 8:38:00 am  
Blogger Unknown said...

Dude. It' a book, a story... a fantasy. Not real life.

Monday, May 07, 2012 9:46:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Oh, I'd totally be up for that Dominic! :D

Dude, I'm aware of that.

Monday, May 07, 2012 3:54:00 pm  
Anonymous Bad.Days said...

I've been having a similar problem with books and movies lately. So in the last few months I have been trying to look at stories (books, movies, TV) more critically. It helps me from getting down in the dumps from those sorts of things.

The first thing I look for is if it's been written by a woman. Unfortunately, woman are really great at writing what other woman think are the most romantic/perfect/amazing men and situations. This is unfortunate because they generally aren't based in any kind of reality. So I basically write off anything sweet/romantic/swoon-worthy as fantasy if it's a female writer, and tell myself that men just don't operate that way.

I think it helps me keep from having unrealistic expectations of what real life relationships are like. I mean let's face it...most billionaires can't just leave work to adore you at a drop of a hat...that's why they're billionaires.

Monday, May 07, 2012 5:51:00 pm  
Anonymous Kate said...

I hear you!

I have felt the same way about that book too - I haven't gone there and don't think I will :-)

Monday, May 07, 2012 6:35:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Oh but, Bad.Days, at Dominic pointed out, if *my* billionaire was Iron Man, he could TOTALLY fly to see me, like, literally! ;)

Fair enough Kate :)

Monday, May 07, 2012 7:34:00 pm  
Blogger Yamuna said...

Someday you WILL meet a guy who - while imperfect - will feel this way about you:

I know you might feel uncertain sometimes, but the only reason for it not happening would be if you lose faith and give up. So please, hang in there! :)

Tuesday, May 08, 2012 12:17:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Aww, thanks Yamuna. And what a lovely song :)

Tuesday, May 08, 2012 8:32:00 pm  
Anonymous Nithya said...

Like they say... there will come a day when that someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anybody else.

In your case, there will come a day when that someone will walk into your life and make you see why this certain person you're referring to wasn't 'drawn to you like a moth to flame.'

Trust me. You'll find The One.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012 6:00:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Awww, thanks for saying so :)

Wednesday, May 09, 2012 5:54:00 pm  
Blogger Single Aussie Girl said...

Great post, I totally relate! I love a good romance novel or movie, but like you, lately they are only making me depressed!!! I make comments and pffffft at the plot about how this doesn't happen in real life!!
Wah, one day the love story will happen to us....right?!

Friday, May 18, 2012 11:25:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

We'll have our own love story one day, right. Maybe just without the romance novel cover! ;)

Saturday, May 19, 2012 9:44:00 am  

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