Thursday, 30 August 2012

Timing


Fun.: We Are Young ft. Janelle MonĂ¡e (ACOUSTIC) 

This song changed my life earlier this month.

(And, yes, I only just realized the irony of that statement. As the last day of the month, everything is "earlier this month.")

But, really, it did.

I'm sure I've posted this song here before, but I don't label my posts (something I often think I should do when I'm looking for videos I've posted, but then I don't know how to go and back-label six or seven years' worth of posts so I don't and instead just complain about it in my head and apparently, today, out loud.) and so I can't find if and/or when I did. But, yes, it's been in my list of favourite songs since I first heard it.

And I'm less sure that I've talked about it here, but I've been struggling with my age this year and feeling... old. I know I talk about feeling like I should be un-single by now, but this birthday didn't sit well with me, numbers wise, and I've been having a hard time with it.

I got really low this summer, and was beating myself up about so many things (the posts are stuck in my head right now, but I'll write them out soon, I hope) and how old I looked/felt/was was a big one.

And one day, I was on the treadmill at the gym, and this song came on my iShuffle.

And you know how sometimes it's all about how something you've heard or seen a bunch of times just has to hit you in the right way at the right time? Yeah. That's what happened.

I'd probably been worrying about my Dad, and thinking about how he's really not as "old" as I used to think someone his age was and then the incredibly attractive (in an unusual sort of way) Nathaniel Joseph Ruess was singing in my ear that "we are young."

And it was like a wave of relief washed through me. I am young.

I am not my Dad's age. To him, I am still very young.

To people in their 90s, my Dad is young.

I AM young. And in some way I will always be young.

I will always be younger than a large group of people. (Yes, unless I am fortunate enough to live an incredibly long, healthy life, I know...)

I've been looking backwards and thinking how old I am instead of seeing it in context.

I've been stuck watching tv shows and movies where everyone is young and thinking I'm not anymore, instead of looking at life and reality and seeing that I am young.

As often happens here, I feel like I'm not quite expressing the magnitude of clarity I was struck with. I'm not managing to put into words the calm and peace and happiness I felt.

I wish I could show you; tell you, but at least I can tell you that this song changed my life in that moment, and I'm grateful.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Yamuna said...

Right now, we're the youngest that we'll ever be :) So why waste it?

Thursday, August 30, 2012 8:15:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Absolutely! :D

Thursday, August 30, 2012 8:47:00 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Please don't steal stuff from here, it's not nice. But leave a comment, why don't cha? And drink more water. It's good for you.

P.S. If you think you know me? You probably don't. If you're sure you know me? Pretend you don't. I'll never admit I know what you're talking about anyway.

P.P.S. All this stuff is copyright from then til now (Like, 2006-2017 and then some.) Kay? Kay.