Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Spin Cycle

Spring. So Very. by foundimagination
The conversation/fight in my head:

Self:  This is never going to work and/or last.

Self:  Oh hush... just trust.

Self:  Um.  No!  Because clearly it's not going to work out in the long run and probably I'm just wasting my time right now and will waste who knows how much more time waiting to see how things play out with Vancouver.

Self:  You don't know that.  You don't know anything.  Maybe things will work out beautifully.  Maybe he'll be back in the Summer.  Maybe you two will get to see each other every now and then.  Maybe being apart will make you stronger and you'll both want to make it work no matter what.

Self:  Or not.  Maybe he'll go over there and meet the girl of his dreams and dump me and I'll feel like a chump.

Self:  Or maybe he'll miss you just as much as you miss him and he'll do what he can to come back.  Or maybe you'll meet the guy of your dreams and the two of you will sadly break things off.

Self:  NO WAY!  Because I won't be looking for another guy because I'll be clinging on to this relationship that clearly isn't worth clinging on to because if it was, he wouldn't be leaving!

Self:  Well, I don't think that particularly makes sense, but you know that what's meant to be will be and that everything's going to be ok in the end, right?

Self:  NO!  I DO NOT KNOW THAT AND I HAVE BEEN ALONE FOR SO LONG AND WHY AM I LOSING THIS THING NOW JUST WHEN I GOT IT?

Self:  It's all going to be ok.

Self:  No.  It's not.

Self:  Yes it is.

Self:  No it's not!

Self:  Just trust.

Self:  Argh!

8 Comments:

Blogger Stephanie Hunter said...

I know I do the same thing.
And this may not help. But this is my thought. Be right now where you are right now. Enjoy right now. Without knowing what might happen tomorrow. Otherwise all this good time may be wasted.

Hugs to you my friend.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 7:40:00 am  
Anonymous Duff said...

Saw the post title and thought it would be about washing the hoodie :)

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 10:16:00 am  
Anonymous Bad.Days said...

"[the relationship] isn't worth clinging on to because if it was, he wouldn't be leaving"

It's good you're being careful with that argument since it works both ways...if it's worth "clinging on to" maybe you would be looking for spy work in Vancouver.

Other than that, I agree with Stephanie. Be with him now because you enjoy it, and as one of yourselves said "everything will be Ok in the end". Even if it sucks going through it at the moment ;)

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 10:44:00 am  
Anonymous VoiceofReason said...

Turn off your brain and watch some football (aka soccer) instead! And drink beer.

What a match (Dortmund Vs Real Madrid)! :D

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 2:03:00 pm  
Anonymous Ashley said...

Remember that book I mentioned a while back... The Mastery of love??
Get it.. Seriously. You won't regret it. If you hate it and it doesn't work blame me.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 4:54:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

I'm really really trying Stephanie! It does feel way better when I do that, but, of course, sometimes my thoughts run away with me.

Duff, if only I were that clever! :D

Fair enough Bad.Days ;)

Sounds like a plan Voice! :D

I did check it out Ashley, but thanks for reminding me :)

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 4:59:00 pm  
Blogger onelanalove said...

I do this exact same thing. Its awful.

Try to be in the now and remember that we must enjoy what we have now and not get caught up in the end game, because it will make us miserable.

Remember also that dating and love and life is a practice and some days are good and some are bad. You are always learning new things, and it will always take practice. There is no "end" to the learning or the practice.

Love!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013 10:38:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

True...

Thursday, April 25, 2013 5:03:00 pm  

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