I've noticed a difference in something that I don't understand...
When I was a kid, my parents would take me to a class (ballet, swimming, etc.) and drop me off and pick me up when it was done.
There would perhaps be a day during the year when they'd be invited to watch, and often a "show" of some kind at the end of the season (especially with dance.) But they did not watch my classes. It wasn't a "thing."
Now, when I talk to my friends who are parents, they all seem to take their children to the classes and then stay for the class. And I'm not sure why.
Perhaps in some cases it's not worth the drive back home and it's just more convenient to, for example, sit in the dojo or the rec centre but I have to say I feel like it's often more of a hovering thing, an expectation thing. Or maybe it's a younger kid thing?
I don't know. But because I remember classes being a "drop off, pick up" kind of thing, I don't understand this seemingly new "I sit through my child's class" thing.
Am I just being weird? I know there's a new normal with parenting but still....
6 comments:
A have a few theories (shocking, I know):
Part of it might be that if you drop them off, there's a fear they could not be there when you come to pick them up. Culturally, we're conditioned now to basically expect that any child left alone or out of our sight is going to disappear.
Another part is likely increased parental interest in the activity. Rather than treating dance class or soccer or whatever as a kind of "babysitting service", the parents actually have an interest in watching the activity.
Modern phones make it easier to stay connected to the outside world... in olden days, you'd drop them off and have to head home to use the phone, or get shopping done, or basically physically be present to do things. Now you can coordinate and do things via your phone.
And yes, there's some helicopter parenting involved. A definitely feeling that you need to see what's happening to get the full value of the experience for your child, to watch for bullying and ensure things are fair and to avoid the "How was dance, dear?" "Meh." interactions.
But those are just my theories.
(And what's the banana peel situation?)
No current peels (that I saw)
And fair theories...
We see this all the time. We did it due to age (and the law over here). There are some activities - such as Rugby and Soccer - where a parent or guardian has to be pitch-side, but there are others, such as Judo, or dance classes, where we just drop off and pick up. I'm guessing it must be down to the security of the building ?
I will say - we always adhered to the "rules", and it always wound me up when other parents just used every club or activity as cheap childcare (and they do - almost all of them). Rugby was the worst - particularly in the winter - you would have perhaps 50 kids, and maybe six parents toughing it out on the touchline - myself among them. Five minutes from the end, thirty or fourty adults would turn up.
I hadn't thought of that J, maybe sometimes it's at the request of the establishment. And yes, I can imagine your frustration! My frustration, however, came from having to stand and watch game after game after game of my brother's (often freezing, rainy, cold) soccer games while he never had to sit through my (warm, dry, inside) ballet classes. UNFAIR! ;)
As a parent, we stayed more to show support for the kids and to show we were interested in what they did. For things like choir rehearsal, we always just dropped the girls, or they walked from school to the rehearsal place. We never thought anything of them getting there themselves...unless is was -40, then we'd drive them.
As a coach, it can be frustrating to have parents drop and run, especially with the little ones. There were times I could have 3, 4, or 5 little ones in tears because of this or that and with only 2 of on the ice with 10 - 15 little ones it could be very hard. For this reason, as a coach I always asked that if a parent was not staying to ensure another parent was their designate. This allowed me to keep the practice going and not waste a lot of money on ice rental.
I'm sorry E, but I'm now smiling at the vision of 4 or 5 little people crying on an ice rink! Oh the pain!
Thanks for your perspective on this :)
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