Tuesday, 14 November 2017

Stuck In The Middle With You

Often when I have something "big" or heavy I want to talk about here, I start the post in my head.  Sometimes I fall asleep "talking" it to myself and wake up frustrated in the morning when it's gone.

Sometimes I hear it in my mind and then sit to type it out and it slips away.  Sometimes I get too scared of possible bad outcomes if I post so I hold myself back.

Lately, it's been a combo of both.  For more reasons than I care to mention. 

But the things I want (but am scared) to say always start with "two years ago"...

I've even tried to go back in archives to scan but damn if back searching a blog isn't annoying.  (I have a hard hate on for the reverse posting in archives... I'm sure there's a way to change/fix it but meh.  Meh I say, meh!)

But looking back at two years ago now-ish, I did talk about things.  Maybe not at the level of intensity I was feeling, but I did.  And I also have to be honest that I don't like re-hashing it but I did an odd combination of shutting down my writing while still semi writing and it's been weird and so this place has sort of dried up.  At least in terms of me getting out my biggest thoughts; my too big thoughts.

So thank you again for sticking in this middle ground with me.  Thanks for gently encouraging and "holding the space" for me to be as I am as best I can in this digital social no-real-privacy world.  I'm working on it.  That may not mean I get there, but I am.

I'm writing in my head... even if it's only the first line.


Blogger Jason Langlois said...

As long as you're writing, and working on things, and doing your best. I don't always manage to post comments, but I am reading/checking in every day.

I could say it's habit, but it's not. It's that I want to see what you have to say. Even if it's about spiders, or the weather, or bigger topics.

Your blog, and by extension you, is interesting, well spoken, and a place I very much enjoy.

So holding a space for you in the digital world, and in my feels, is pretty easy.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017 2:10:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thank you Jason :)

Thursday, November 16, 2017 9:37:00 pm  

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