I got screwed!
Which is exactly the joke I made when I walked into the tire shop with a screw in my tire!
The guy didn't bat an eyelash (but I thought I was pretty funny so I was laughing in my head) and they did their thing and half an hour later I had a plugged tire and no screw.
I'm glad it went as well as it did, but it still blows my mind at whatever physics have to be involved for that screw to have gotten... stabbed (?) into my tire, and I wish I knew where it came from so I could be mad at them for it... like stop screwing around, y'all!
Sorry, I'll show myself out.