Before

My life right now feels like it has a "before" and an "after".

A time when something happened..... changed... and nothing has been quite the same since.

Before, I used to write a week's worth of blog posts on a Sunday and let them post throughout the week.  I liked doing that a lot.

I would sometimes write other times as well, but by the end of the night Sunday, I knew I could relax and that the storytelling would happen throughout the week and I'd just keep an eye on comments and make mental notes on what I might want to talk about the next time I sat down to write.

Well, after.... that didn't happen anymore.  Because I couldn't write about almost anything.  Because I didn't want to write about a lot of things.  Most notably, "the" thing.

I'm sure I've hinted at it or mumbled my way through attempted secretive tellings of and around it but one thing's for certain, I got out of my habit of weekend writing.

So here I am, Sunday night.  Having had the intention to spend part of today writing out a week's worth of posts but inspiration did not happen.  The muse is still on a smoke break.  Or something.  All expenses paid trip to the sub Saharan desert, I don't know.  So I'm probably going to have to do some forcing or pushing of myself until I can break through that lack.  That block.  That missing.

I've been waiting for things to go back to normal.  But it's been a long long time and it may be that "normal" isn't coming back.

At least not in a way I recognize.

But the long days are here, and that is giving me so much.

So much.