Saturday, 16 November 2019


Sometimes I'm not entirely sure why my anxiety seems to suddenly skyrocket.

I'll give you an example.

Last weekend, I contacted the local police department (via email) to ask them a few questions.  I was wondering about when to call 911 and if they had any other advice for making my area less appealing to... not so good people.

They got back to me that they were closed for the weekend but that someone would get in touch with me about Block Watch.

So I looked into Block Watch and it mentioned "block captains" and how they are the liaison and canvass other neighbours to see if they want to join and I had a panic attack.

Because I don't want to do that.  Now, even at the time there is at least a part of me that is aware that I don't HAVE to do that, that no one has asked me to, and that nothing *bad* will happen if I don't.  But it's like my body (mind?) have already spun out of control and I'm dealing with this intense anxiety and it feels horrible and I just don't want to be feeling like that.

Happily for me, these things are less intense than when I first started getting them and they pass in about an hour now (rather than two or more) and when they do pass I'm generally ok (I used to have to sleep for a while to recover).  So I do see progress.  It just still sucks when it happens.

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