Friday, 31 January 2020

The Bumpy Path Part The Second

I've been trying to get to the gym for a long while now.  If you've been around here a while, you know it has always been a part of my life and health choices.  It got difficult post vehicle accident, but I persisted.  I had a hard time getting there when my mental health became unwell.  I worked with personal trainers for a while but that was hard to include in my limited budget, and since I last worked with one, I've not been into a gym.... at all?

It's something I've talked with counsellors about and tried tried tried to work towards with limited success.  It's been a source of frustration and self-unkindness for ages, which is not helpful, in case you thought it was.  I did keep up with regular "exercise", just not anything at the gym or anything I'd call significant cardio.  But certainly enough to keep me moving, and getting in some steps/activity.

I think it was around six weeks ago that I got myself back into the gym.  It was a combination of wanting to, and then thinking about my friend who has had recent surgery for her cancer and who is unable to do any physical activity at all right now and who would LOVE TO.  And I sat there one night and thought "I can go to the gym and I don't.  She would love to go to the gym and can't.  I should while I can."  So I did.

I didn't tell anyone, and I didn't talk about it because I didn't want to get any external validation.  I wanted to be doing it for me and me alone.  After I'd made it there a few times, I mentioned it to Jason to see if he had any advice for me on the stationary bike as he spent time when he was younger on a cycling team.

He had me try the "proper" way of cycling and man was it hard on my legs and cardio and oh my!  But then also oh my.... because I think I pulled something.  I'm assuming hip flexor?  And once that thing was pulled/hurt/injured it was hard to do anything... it would even get irritated when I used the treadmill, especially with any incline.

So... I booked a physio appointment (next week I think?) and I iced the area (helped a lot) and I stopped cycling, and I took advil type things and I rested the thing and now it's not bad.  But I'm going to wait to see what the physio says (I'm sure it's an issue of "other areas are weak, so we'll strengthen them) and go from there.

I also really worked on psyching myself up for some different cardio.... but that's a whole separate thing.  I'll get to it soon.  Probably?

But yeah.... it's frustrating to be trying to work with a body that's been lax for a number of years, and that is older than it was and that seems determined to hurt in not good ways right now.  Because I want to be blasting the bad stuff out of my body with nasty cardio (I hate cardio!) but I do not want to injure myself so... am taking it easy.... which is not the ideal, but sure is better than nothing, right?

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