Tuesday, 8 September 2020

A Dream And The Reality

I had a weird dream last night/this morning and I half woke from it to wonder how the smell of the person in the dream's cigarettes had transferred to me.  I woke several more times that morning and sniffed my fingers and they did indeed smell like I'd held a cigarette.  Or held the hand of someone holding a cigarette. I was too sleepy to figure out why but oh well, I would wash it off.  Guess my shower last night hadn't washed it off enough.  Ugh.

I popped my eyes open "for real" around 6:30 (early for me) and looked outside after checking the time.  Hmmm... cloudy... that wasn't expected.  But I couldn't quite fall asleep so around 7:00 I woke myself up actually and wondered... is that haze?

And yes, that tell tale orange light and that "not fog" haze is here, and so my smelling cigarettes on my hand was actually me smelling smoke.  I wish it wasn't so.

It's supposed to be warm this week.  Which is already not something I look forward to.  And now we have wildfire smoke (from Washington state it seems) and I had really hoped to avoid it this year but hey, can't control things, can I? 

So today I am already fighting anxiety around life things, and now heat and smoke things.  I don't want to close my windows but should I?  I didn't buy those filters for my windows... maybe I should have?  Do I turn my fans on?  I already put my big one in my bedroom blowing across/towards my windows. 

I would love to hope the smoke clears.

I would like to go back to the weekend when I told myself I "didn't have to deal with anything" because it was a long weekend.


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