So, May

We're in May, eh?  I mean, that's a thing that happened.  You know, five frigging months into this year somehow?  When really last year didn't happen at all?  

I'm so time confused.  I am.

People around me are starting to get vaccinated.  Or to book their vaccination.  If you're not from BC, they've been doing them aged based, but also chose to do community (pharmacy based) of the Astra Zenica one (I may have spelled that wrong, but you know what I mean) and a few folks I know managed to get in that way.  And the public health run ones are starting to get closer to my general age group and that of some of my peers and colleagues (and siblings... by the end of next week both of my brothers will have gotten their first vaccination and yes my parents have both already had one!)

I've registered with the system and figure I'll be done in the next month or two with my second dose probably by early Fall.  

Not that it matters terrifically.  I'm not sure how different I'll feel being vaccinated?  It's this weird limbo I'm finding myself in right now of not knowing how it's been over a year of this and yet sort of still not being used to seeing masks but it's not bizarre but no it really is bizarre.

One of the big concerts I was supposed to go to last year (Roger Waters in Vancouver) is rescheduling for next Fall (2022) and I don't know for certain if I'll feel comfortable going over and being in a crowd of that size?  But I am holding on to the rescheduled tickets and if I choose not to go at the time I'm ok at this point with losing the money (or reselling I suppose...meh.)

I have no idea when they'll take away the mask mandate or how that will feel.

They've got travel restrictions in place for us here right now but ironically the zone they have me in is actually larger than I've ever felt travelling before... go figure.  (It's by health authority and the whole Island is one zone, but I've not felt comfortable driving an overnight since this all started.)  Do I feel comfortable trying a camping trip?  I don't know.

I'm honestly already really anxious about Summer and heat.  Last year was miserable for me.  I've looked a little into portable air conditioning units but I just don't know... plus money I don't really have.

And I think last year I was really scared of going out of town at all.  Like even an hour out of town scared me, so I didn't do much.  Will I feel better about it this year?  Not sure.  Will knowing it's "allowed" make me more comfortable?  Maybe.  I'm still just so concerned about possibly spreading Covid (less so I think about contracting it elsewhere, but that's there too).  Sigh.  

Maybe being at least partially vaccinated will make me relax a bit?  I mean that would be great if it did. 

My understanding is that if you're vaccinated you're far less likely to die from contracting Covid or to need hospitalization.  So you could still contract it or spread it but it will be less likely to be as devastating.

But I mean, honestly, I still don't want it.

And that goes for most of the illnesses out there to be honest.

Shingles?  Don't want them.  Measles?  No thanks.  Whooping cough?  Well, got that as an adult actually, it was miserable.  No thank you. I mean you guys I don't even want a cold.  You know?  Not that anyone really enjoys being sick but yeah, I suppose I'm "extra" scared of Covid.  Blah.  And yes, I'll get around to talking about my "probably a cold" from the other week or so.  It wasn't Covid.  I got tested.  And there was a lot of relief when that came back with a negative, let me tell you.

So yeah, May.  A weird month.  Full on Spring... hinting of Summer.

And yet I've woken up in the middle of the last two nights to pull one of my windows shut for the cold.

Go figure.