Monday, 17 May 2021

Um, Yeah, No.

If you've been around here a while you know I have a deal with spiders in my place.  They aren't allowed in my bedroom, and they absolutely aren't allowed on my bed, like no way no how.  Them's the rules.

So a few nights ago I went to bed and when I turned on the light there was a big black spider up around the ceiling.  "Oh, we're NOT doing this" I said very loudly, but also aware that he/she was too high for me to properly capture.  So I got my Swiffer and in the process of knocking it down to the floor it fell/jumped behind my bed and I couldn't be bothered to go after it, which I thought at the time "hopefully this doesn't come back to bite me, but I mean... it would never sort of like, um, go on my bed right?  Right."

Except not right.

Last night, I went to bed and as it was a little chillier, I pulled up my extra blankets, which happen to be black.

And as I was pulling them up, I noticed some movement and, well, yeah, BIG BLACK SPIDER ON MY BED!  ON MY BLANKET!!!

"SO RUDE!" I shouted (no, really, I told the spider it was being so rude... ahem) and I flicked it to the ground.  Thankfully it was docile and seemed slow, so I was able to leap out of bed and get a glass from the kitchen.  Again, thankfully, it hadn't done much escaping, so I was able to put the cup over it and go get a piece of paper.  By the time I got back with the paper it was crawling the sides of the glass which reinforces my theory that the bigger they are the "smarter" they are, and so I went out into my hallway, and usually I just drop them outside my door but this one I walked down a flight of stairs and released it there knowing full well he/she might just make their way back to my bedroom!  GAH!

My heartrate was through the roof so I decided to try to google which type of spider it was (it wasn't a shape I'm overly familiar with) but that didn't really help calm me down so I went back to bed.  And forced myself to stop thinking about "spider germs" all over my bed, which made me start thinking about all the other bug germs all over my bed and me and well that train of thought just had to stop, like nope, stop nuh uh, not going there.

What followed was a bunch of weird thoughts and half dreams and a nasty enough dream to wake me up this morning but hey, I'm sure that wasn't related to the spider situation, right?  Ahem.

So yeah.  Someone broke the covenant and I am NOT impressed!  AND I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT ANY MORE THAN THAT AAAAARGH!