So... About That Thing

My town, and others, had another protest this weekend.  I live near enough downtown that I heard the occasional honking, but far enough from downtown to not have been disturbed by it.  (I'm actually a little more noise irritated by the hummingbird that sits near my window and yells... for hours at a time.  Like little dude, just shush, or move on, PLEASE!)  I also didn't drive or walk anywhere near where things might have been until the next day.  

In Ottawa, the capital of our country, they have been dealing with noise and pollution and blockades for weeks now.  I do not envy them that.

Honestly, I've taken to kind of ignoring it all.  For my own mental health and well being.  I don't seek out conversation about it, and when folks bring it up with me I say what I have to say and then end the conversation before I get overly riled up or stressed.  So for the most part, the only times I think about it are when I'm searching for it online or dealing with it on a protest day, or when I vent at Jason in an hours long phone call.

See I keep trying to figure out what I think about it, and I've often used writing here as a way to figure something out, but I also am aware that with this, I don't want to add to the increasing Us vs Them this seems to be perpetuating.  So I'm trying to choose my words.

Because yes, I get angry, I get hurt, I get upset, I get all sorts of things and I could rant and rave about it and it's my blog, it's where I totally can do that, but also after my bad weekend with it the other week, I'm trying to not hurt myself with it.  (If that makes sense?)

So, yeah, I could rant and complain and talk about how bad bad bad this and that is, but instead, I'm trying to come to some sort of, I dunno, neutrality?

Do I agree with what "they" are protesting against?  No, I don't.  Do I agree with their methods?  No, I don't.  Do I think they're right or in the right?  No, not really.  I don't.

But I have spent the last week or so trying to be calm.  Trying to come from a place of grace and understanding and gentleness.  I have talked to/at Jason repeatedly trying to talk through what they (the protesters and supporters) might be thinking.  And to come to a place of understanding if not agreement.  And I'm doing this because it makes me feel better.  It makes my head a healthier place.  It makes me less stressed.  And that allows me to sort of block it out in a way and be more functional in my day to day.

But all that said.  I still have the need to talk talk talk and so here we are... here we are.

Here's my understanding of what's gone/going on... Note, just *my* understanding, not a truth, just what I take things to be...

So apparently on the 22nd of January something came into effect (on the US side) that had to do with truckers and the US-Canada border crossing and Covid vaccines.  I have purposely not done a deep dive into any of this but I think that date is when it became like... you had to be vaccinated to cross the border or you had to isolate for 2 weeks or something.  And so it seems that some folks who drive trucks (aka "truckers") did not like this new rule/law/mandate/whatever and decided to protest.  

Now, here's my first pause.  I don't know what number or percentage of truckers were against this.  I have read/heard that it was not a large or significant number, but I digress.  And also while I'm not entirely clear this mandate was jointly between the two countries or initially Canadian and then a request of the States or something, but the truckers seemed to be mostly mad at the Canadian government for it and so I think they decided that in protest, they would drive across Canada to "talk"? to the Prime Minister.  And so they did.

And they did this with media coverage and my confusion.  (Confusion around what are you actually upset about, why did you wait until now to do something about it, and is it actually something the Canadian government could change even if they wanted to?)

I didn't pay much attention to the drive, or what became known as the Convoy (Convoy, noun: a group of ships or vehicles traveling together, typically accompanied by armed troops, warships, or other vehicles for protection.) and then the "Freedom Convoy" which... REALLY?  (rant goes here... ahem)

So then things get a little muddy for me and I assume for others because what I initially understood as a professional truckers protest against a specific border vaccine mandate situation morphed into a "Canada wide protest against vaccines and vaccine mandates and vaccine passports and the Prime Minister and anyone particularly in agreement with any of those things."

And I guess it was two (?) weekends ago that they arrived in Ottawa (the capital) and there were, it seems, lots of people and lots of vehicles.  And according to who you talk to it was either fine or awful.

I don't live there.  I have no direct experience of being there.  So I can not speak to it.  I can only speak to the odd video I've seen, the first hand reports on social media, some of the articles I've read and then the "the media is lying it's very peaceful" counter articles/videos/accounts.

Ok then.

I am aware that a lot of the media out there has become something that pushes agendas and tries to pull in viewers, so with the "if it bleeds it leads" theory in play, I do understand that a picture of a monument defaced, or stories of human feces around or other upesetting anecdotes will be portrayed more than "people got together and said no".

But I also don't heavily engage based on those media reports, but I do form opinions based on (what I try to have) a fairly wide swath of reports.  And I pay attention to sources and who's doing the telling and talking.  I don't do a whole lot of "mainstream" and I work hard to find balanced sources (google "balanced news") and take things with a grain of salt.  I try NOT to just read things to fuel my own personal outrage agenda.  And I know many do.

So it was the other week when my former co worker put out his statement on social media in support of this protest and when they said a lot of things I don't agree with (like "there is proof these vaccines do not work at all") and I got really upset.  This co worker continues to support the protest and I continue to try to understand why this upsets me so and to understand where they are coming from.

But I also am not clear as to what is wanted anymore.  Because it became not about actual truckers and this border crossing issue, it became about ALL THE THINGS and I don't know what the protesters are expecting and wanting.

I've tried to talk it through with Jason.  He knows a much larger group of people than I do and they are of all sorts of backgrounds and beliefs so he has a number of friends mildly and fully supportive as well as friends who are very against.  So what I currently think is that the "freedom convoy" truckers and supporters want an end to vaccine mandates, vaccine passports, mask mandates, and anything else Covid related that is seemingly protective.  That's my general understanding.  So I suppose to just live with Covid, but in the way we used to live - like we can all do what we want how we want and that is "freedom".  

Ok, well sure, I get that?  But... also... I can't quite fully wrap my head around how they think this would work?

So best case, all the provinces (and some are already doing this) take away mask mandates and vaccine passports and anyone and everyone can do what they want with or without a mask or vaccine.  Ok, so then, best case nothing happens?  Our case numbers don't go up?  Our health care and hospital systems don't get overwhelmed?  Some people get sick, some people die, but it's kind of ok?  I mean, ok, I guess that sounds good?  But also, not sure it sounds realistic?  And I don't want to be a guinea pig while we find out if "best case" happens?

I mean I'm not a great example in this because if things were to change like that in my province not a whole lot would change for me.  I'd probably be more likely to get sick, and the few things I choose to do (work, grocery shop, etc.) would be more likely to make me sick?  But I'd probably still wear a mask most if not all of the time and I'd probably not rush out to do much more than I already do and I'd adjust my behaviours if things changed.  But for others it would be a bigger deal.  Those who are eating out or going to shows or the gym might feel less safe doing so.  I have to assume that.

And my small, quiet question is... do the protesters understand what a "worst case" looks like?  Or even a "not best, not worst, just middle ground" case looks like?  Or are they pretty confident that Covid is making its way out of our day to day and this variant is "mild" (spoiler... not really) and we're all just going to get sick and it's just like a cold and so there isn't going to be a worst case?

And have they thought through what it would look like if they're wrong?  I mean here, right now, we don't even have the capacity to test everyone who's sick.  We're just kind of saying "assume you have it and stay home... unless you're super sick."  And our numbers are sort of levelling but also sort of high and like maybe things are getting better and they were maybe going to loosen up some things in a week or two anyway but... I just... I can't quite "get" if they have really really thought through the what if's.  Or if they have, in their own way and think it'll be ok.

I don't think the polarization going on is helping anything.  So the folks saying the truckers are dumb and the truckers saying the pro-mandate folks are sheep (or whatever), that's not helping.  I know we're all scared.  Either of getting sick or of overreaching, never ending government control... I know we're all scared and trying to stand up for what we believe in and so I'm trying to give some grace to the protesters for that.  They believe bad things are happening and they're standing up against that.

I don't think how they're doing it, or what they're saying or the "fringe" element they've "allowed" to be near them (nazi flags, confederate flags, hateful speech, racism, etc.) are ok.  But I suppose I have to allow for "they are scared of bad things and saying enough" because that's what we do when we feel something is bad enough... I'm just on the other side of this one.  

I could go on, and I might, but this is, if nothing else upsetting and I wish it wasn't something any of us were having to deal with.  I miss the before times too guys... we really didn't know how good we had it in some ways, eh?