Uncomfortable

At the end of last week our province removed the indoor mask mandate for most places (some exceptions like medical places, etc.)

I have very mixed feelings about this as I really appreciated the extra level of protection and now that feeling is gone.

I did go shopping on Friday (the day the "mandate" ended) and wore my mask and noticed that most people in the store did as well.  Same when I went somewhere else on Saturday... the majority of people were still wearing masks.  This gave me a great amount of relief to be honest.

I know things are constantly changing and we all have our personal feelings around masks.  Some folks are SUPER relieved and happy to not *have* to wear a mask any more, and some are happy not to HAVE to but are still choosing to.  I think I'm in a category of people who right now wish we were all still doing it but... we shall see how things go.

For me, this doesn't mean the risk factor has changed, just that the powers that be see the levels as "ok enough" to loosen some things up.  I don't know that we'll be this way forever.  I know friends of friends in other parts of the world where things are really bad again Covid wise and they're shutting down even tighter so who knows.  Really... who knows.  Sigh.

It's not my place, or good for my mental health to try to predict the future right now, I just wanted to take a moment to say (to myself if no one else) that I'm really extra scared right now and the non-mask stuff will take some getting used to.  Again.

Jason pointed out that we had this "no mask" thing "a while ago" but I don't honestly remember.  Blocked it out maybe.  Or maybe that was back when I wasn't shopping or going places, I don't know.  I just know I'm super not thrilled and I feel weird pressure to conform to the majority (I'm working on that) so I'm hoping the majority keeps wearing masks, at least for a while, at least in crowds, at least in busy places.  Cuz for me, right now, a few days in... this sucks.

Sigh.

(Plus it's weird.  I have a major habit of walking out my door with a mask on as it was a request of the building management that we do so and now I don't have to ... and honestly I rarely see anyone else in the halls but damn it's weird to be like ... don't put that mask on?  And I feel like putting it on when I leave insures I have one on me anyway so the last couple of days I've put one half on... like hanging on one ear and told myself "baby steps".  And I could, in theory, wear a mask as much as I want for as long as I want, it's just the social anxiety part of me is ragingly upset about what people will think of me if I do... sigh.)