I have been struggling for the last week or so. I suppose since I got back from camping and back to work. Are those the reasons? I can't honestly tell you either way.
So I am dealing with extra heavy depression type feelings and thoughts right now and they do not lead to wanting to write or post because damn... what am I going to say? I hate myself, I hate everything, everything sucks, here's a post about how miserable it feels to exist?
Even if I were to talk about something like the camping trip(s) I feel like I'd be all "it sucked and I hated it and was miserable and will never go again" and that's, well, not 100% accurate...
Well I mean no one really wants to read that and if they do, it's not really something they can just be like "oh ok" about and I'm not like... going to hurt myself or anything so I don't want to worry or upset anyone I just feel extra low and miserable and I hate feeling this way and it sucks.
I'm doing all the things I know of to like... not. You know, the S.A.D light in the mornings and exercise and eating well enough and all the rest. My counsellor pointed out that the tired and low could be in part due to my body fighting off the medical thing I maybe half mentioned or maybe didn't mention but that could be a part of it. Healing can be exhausting.
Plus it's bumpy taking time off work and then returning, probably for most of us?
Plus I miscalculated some financial stuff and am in a stressful place there again (and I'm not sure how I miscalculated so badly when I try to be on top of things so that's messing with me.)
Plus Jason had a birthday and it made me feel very lonely.
But whatever the reasons, it's been a hard last week and I haven't wanted to talk (to anyone really, not just you, not just here) and I'm tired but it's more than "sleep" tired.
Yeah.
2 comments:
I'm sorry your struggling right now.
We four are getting over covid. It sucks. Don't get it...like we have a choice. All four of us had very different experiences and symptoms...two haad very sore throats, two didn't. Two developed a dry cough in the second week; two didn't. I somehow avoided for about 4 days after the other three in house tested positive and then I got it...not surprising considering how contagious it is. I've had extreme exhaustion and it sucks. Getting better but sucks.
In a nutshell...all four of us vaccinated, wore masks everywhere, still got it. And it sucks.
Oh no, I'm sorry E! It's such a strange virus... hugs. Will send you all healthy thoughts. :(
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