I took a few days off of work and was really mad that I had pre-booked personal trainer time all this month. So when I woke up one day last week and received an email from that trainer letting me know she had to cancel due to illness I was OH SO terribly happy and relieved. Like I was thrilled. I hadn't wanted to go and now I didn't have to!
I felt sort of somehow guilty about that and then this week I also didn't want to go so I cancelled on her and like damn I needed to NOT but also I feel bad but I also want to respect myself and right now, like I can't remember happening in a while, like maybe not since last Fall, I just really really need to do nothing.
I'm trying to respect that. But also quietly confessing the "uh oh" I feel around doing that. You know?
(Wow, it sure gave me a panic to go to post this... interesting. Also, yikes.)
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