Ironic

I never did tell you what happened with my upstairs neighbour and his extremely heavy footedness.

So I know I only wrote the one post about it but it was bad.  Not "I'll get used to it" kind of noise, but really really stressed me out "how can I live with this" kind of loud and shaking my place.

I mentioned in my post that I was considering leaving a note and man did I ever get worked up over what to say and how to say it.  I talked to a few people and of course they all had different ideas and suggestions about how to go about doing it and I ended up typing up a note and leaving it for a few days and then going back to it and adjusting it and then handwriting it in a card.

(Which I then smudged, and so tried to write out another version but it smudged too and so I just said fuck it, the neighbour is getting a smudged note.  Sigh.)

I very anxiously left it at his doorstep with a small gift (a slightly fancy chocolate bar) and I waited very nervously for him to get home (he parks next to me and if I try I can look out and see our vehicles.)

At a certain point later that day I heard a car pull in, I looked and it was him and I thought "oh man, here goes... he's going to read the note and I don't know what's going to happen but I bet it's going to be bad." (Anxiety tells you things are going to be bad... I assume in an attempt to protect you from the bad?)

And then there was a noise at my door.  (Had he read the note already?  That was fast!?) But the noise wasn't someone knocking, the noise was someone trying to get in.  (This has happened before in this apartment, people aren't paying attention and don't go up the proper number of flights of stairs!)

I panicked.  I did NOT want to have to talk to this person in person.  But... he kept trying different keys.  I started to feel bad.  So, I steeled myself and hopped up and opened my door.  And there in front of it was a nice looking, sheepishly apologizing man saying SORRY OMG!

We introduced ourselves, I said not to worry it happens from time to time and then as he turned to walk away I awkwardly said "I.. um.. I... left... I um... I left you a note upstairs?" he paused.... "You're um.... a little...." and I made some sort of I don't even know what motion that was meant to show "stomp stomp stomp" and RIGHT AWAY he said "yeah, I've been told I'm a heavy walker."  Which was a huge relief to me because it's better for me if someone knows (about the thing I have issues with) and has been told before and I'm not the first one telling them.

He left and a few hours later I found a card at my door thanking me for the warm welcome (I had tried to be friendly but honest in my note) and for letting him know about the noise and that he was ordering slippers that should help and to let him know going forward and giving me his number so we could more easily communicate.

What a relief.  And an irony.  That I stressed for a week or two over if I SHOULD or how COULD I talk to this person and how awful their reaction would be an if I might have to do something extreme or talk to management or, or, or!  And it turns out if I had just waited a few more hours he would have tried to get in to my apartment by mistake and I could have babbled the whole thing out in person.

I mean honestly I might not have gotten my point across in person so it's probably good that I wrote it down for clarity's sake.  But it's a pretty funny story all in all.

My brother, when I told him, said that it sounded like the start of a rom com and I will just politely say that I don't think that's in play here (I'm assuming some things here but yeah....I don't think we're each others' types.)

He is quieter, and I could tell right away that he was trying.  Which was really sweet.

Every few weeks there is an evening when things are a bit thumpier but all in all it's SO much better and as he said to me when I said I'm conflict avoidant (when he said talk to me any time about anything) good conflict is important and that's something I'm working on for sure.