It's Sad Too

I had a hard time last weekend with Jason stuff.

We're starting to text each other a bit more regularly again, something that hasn't happened in months and that had gotten increasingly sporadic before that and what struck me is that it doesn't feel the same for me.  It isn't the same for me.

The damage has been done.  What was won't come back.

And I don't even know if something new will rebuild in a way that I'll want to keep ..... pouring energy into?  

So it was sad.

And I didn't have anyone to share that with.  I debated telling him but what was the point?

He severely damaged and kind of maybe even totally broke (if I'm honest) this friendship/relationship and then things got worse and now I can't go backwards and I'm sad sad sad for the loss of what was.

(And I just wish my *old* friend was here to hug me and help me through it.)