Good For Me!

I'm really quite proud of myself for going to meet people for coffee last week (and one time before that).

I don't drink coffee, but that's not the point, that's what this sort of meet up is called, you know?  "Hey, want to get together for coffee." meaning a sort of short social chat over a non alcoholic drink, during the day usually.  Right?  Right.  

So at some point I learned that some of the water fitness folks would meet up after class for a coffee.

At some later point, some of them started to invite me.  I mostly had appointments or something that meant I wasn't able to but I also had a lot of social anxiety around it and so didn't.

But then the pool let us know it would be closing and people in class started moving on and not coming to class anymore and then one day, one of the ladies that I really like was in the lobby of the pool waiting on folks and saw me and said I should come (I couldn't that day) but she took my email and invited me to the next one.

I asked my class buddy if she'd go with (easier for me that way) and we went after class the next time and it was pleasant.

It took some extra thinking/planning for me as I chose to leave my gear in the locker and go to the coffee place and then back to the pool and THEN home (they're all within walking distance for me) but I knew that was going to happen in advance so I had it pre planned in my mind and the friend and I walked there and yeah it was nice.

So last week when the invite went out again (they meet a couple of times a month) I wasn't sure I could manage it (anxiety wise) and my buddy was out of town so I didn't commit to going, but on the day I felt up for it and even though I was nervous (which is less intense than anxious) I got dressed, grabbed my brolly and headed out the door.  I was really proud of myself as I did that!  I was nervous/anxious on the walk, but somehow it's slightly less intimidating with these people.  And I've been thinking about that.

I didn't know all of them that first time, but was introduced.  And it's not always the same people, but they all have the pool fitness class in common.  And I'm not sure that it matters, but they are all older than me. (By quite a lot.  I think the youngest are a decade or more over my age?)  Maybe that does matter?  Maybe there's less of a sense of needing to impress or something?  They're not co-workers, or anyone that might have expectation of me.  I don't know why I'm not stressed by going and chatting about whatever with these folks.  Maybe because I've been doing that before class for a couple of years so I'm used to it?

But the point of this is that I'm proud of myself for going and not avoiding like I've done with a lot of things over the years since anxiety became a thing in my life.  I'm proud of me for pushing outside that comfort zone and I'm glad to have been wanted and invited too, you know?

So *pat on the back* good for me doing a thing I'd likely not have done a handful of years ago.  Yay! 

Oh and it's also new (?) for me to actively congratulate myself and recognize I'm doing something new so I'm happy that I had the thought "I'm proud of myself right now."