Or Not

The weather the last week or so has been interesting.  Warm for a few days and then a couple of randomly comparatively cool days and then a hot day again and then probably some rain by the end of the week?  On Saturday the forecast was for about 8 degrees cooler than the days around it and I was so happy to be able to have my windows uncovered for some light (for me AND the plants) but then I was reminded that even if it was twenty it is still June and the sun still has more punch and I had to cover the windows anyway so yeah.

I did end up talking with my counsellor about adapting my approach to the heat as I was miserable and it was a massively stuffy humid day with a warm breeze when I went to that appointment.

He pointed out that my system (for reasons he and I have gotten in to) sees the heat as a threat and somehow that ended up being helpful  (I'm oversimplifying the conversation we had of course) so that now when I check on the forecast or the current temperatures and what my indoor sensors are saying I tell myself (outloud or loudly in my head) that this is not a threat and that I'm "just gathering information".

I'll say that it has helped with the caveat that it has been cooler since that appointment happened so I'm not yet sure if it'll help me when/if we have multiple hot days without a sign of a break.  But I'm mildly hopeful.

I've also talked about the loss I feel and the mourning, I suppose, around not enjoying summer anymore.  I used to go to beaches and lakes and be OUT in the warmth and heat.  Part of that, very honestly, is that those places are no longer enjoyable to go to what with the fighting for parking and the business and such and so there is, perhaps, an aspect of having "aged out" of beaches and lakes but still.... it's hard to think about the months ahead knowing that it's less likely I'll be out and about doing much.  But baby steps.  I'll see if I can attack my massive mental/emotional issues with my overheated apartment and how that impacts my sleep and all the stuff that goes with trying to cool my space and *then* I'll look in to maybe trying to expand my non working day days.  

So happy summer (officially now) to those of us who have summer now and may it be as mild and enjoyable as possible.