Monday, 5 May 2008

F is for Food

I have an interesting and complicated relationship with food, as many (all?) of us do.

In a lot of ways I think I'm lucky that I'm not heavy. I've eaten badly for a long time and have been a huge fan of junk food. I also tend to eat when I'm upset and as we know, that can get you into a lot of trouble.

For those of you who've been around a while and pay attention to my non-relationship rants, you may remember me mentioning a couple of times that I had something "wrong" with my stomach.

The latest in my series of adventures trying to find out just what this something was led me to an allergist who's got me on a food-restricted diet (heh, I just typed "died" by mistake, my fingers make the best typos ever) for a couple of weeks. All of a sudden, my complicated relationship with food is made even more so.

No longer can I go into the cupboard and grab my favourite treat or snack, for a couple of weeks I have to avoid...well, pretty much everything I'd normally eat, and certainly all snack type foods.

It's been hard being on this "diet". I can't go out to eat, (hence me meeting Bird at a pub and not being able to order anything) I can't randomly reach for something, I have to check every single ingredient in those ingredients lists to make sure I'm not eating the thing my Doctor thinks might be causing my stomach pain. It's really really weird to be doing this because it's made me realize how much I take food for granted; how much I take being able to choose what I eat based on what I feel like eating for granted.

It's complicated trying to think of something you'd like to eat that you're also allowed to eat. It's a good thing that this town's got a lot of "alternative" grocery stores so that if I find out there are certain things I can't eat, I'm sure I'll be able to find substitutes. (Did you know they make goat yogurt, for example? You do now!) I'm just not sure there's a good substitute for the stuff I really miss: candy and chocolate.

I've been told that after the first week, the sugar and chocolate cravings will die down, but right now I feel for everyone who's ever gone cold turkey quitting something.


And, it's been hardest after a rough day, or when I'm feeling down to think that I don't have any food I can turn to for a little comfort or a pick me up. Because, as much as I love fresh fruit, that apple just isn't making up for the chocolate bar I'd really like to be eating.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this food thing (or with this post, really) but I'm hoping that I can take a whole lot of good out of the experience and learn to treat my body better and learn to eat healthier and more mindfully.

I'm also hoping I can go back to having some of my favourite snack/junk foods again at some point. All in moderation, of course.


dilling said...

I hope you get some treats back, too.
I have similar issues, thankfully, they come in "waves," so far. And if I don't eat those things during one of those waves, it'll go away after a bit...and then after another bit, I can eat what I want again(in moderation)...for now. It is getting worse as I get older and I can see the day when I won't be able to eat it all anymore...sob sob...
good luck...maybe it will be just one thing?!?!?

Alexandra said...

I so feel that pain. I have some weird intolerances that seem to act out even worse when I'm under stress, so at the exact time when I wish I coudl have half a white baguette with buter on it ( comfort food for me), I cannot have it. Bah!

Jonathan said...

I'm starting to realise how lucky I am to be able to take or leave pretty much anything - which (while it sounds great) often causes fury around me that I can seem so disinterested in food that took a long time to make...

Victoria said...

Dilling, or maybe your waves will just be further and further apart? I'll cross my fingers for that for ya!

Alexandra....mmmmm baguette and butter... I'm drooling!!! ;)

Jonathan, do you have any food favourites?

Yvonne said...

Has your doctor been able to nail down any triggers?
A friend of mine did one of those elimination diets a few years back and I think all she could eat the first week was rice! ;(

My sister's had problems for awhile too and they finally nailed it down to celiac's.

Gawd I love carbs but they are pretty much poison to my system. (The refined ones, anyway.)

Is it the chocolate you can't have or the sugar? There is some decent sugar-free chocolate out there, though most use maltitol as a sweetener and that can cause stomach upset which probably would not be good for you, especially at this time!
I'll just shut up now. ;)

Jenn O'Neil said...

Victoria - How is this going? Have they made any decisions or have you learned anything about what's causing the issues?

Victoria said...

Right now I'm "off" of dairy and sulfites...which is pretty much EVERYTHING! We'll see :)

Yvonne said...

Note, Rice Dream non-dairy frozen dessert is pretty damn good. (No idea if it has sulphites though, but does't seem like something that would be in it.)

Victoria said...

Cool, good to know! :)