Well this month has been awful for me. And I was at a point where I really didn't think I could handle another day of it...
But friends had made a date for us to go out to eat together this weekend and although I really really really really wanted to cancel, I didn't. And the day itself was such a crappy day for me I actually messaged one of my friends and said "I'm having a really rough day could you maybe meet earlier?" And this is not something I usually do. I mean sure, I'll tell Jason, or C-Dawg or my brother that it's a bad day but that's about as far as I'll usually share. So it was a big deal for me to reach out to someone else.
But I did, and we met and I talked about some things and my health a bit and then our other friends joined us and we ate and we caught up and I feel so much better.
There's a lot to be said for socialization, there really is. Which is difficult when you're not well and just want to be insular. But I have wonderful friends. Kind, gentle souls who mean so well, and it was great to see them and it has been far too long.
So it's the end of the month (go figure) and I'm feeling hopeful that I've made it thorough the worst of it. This is always my hardest time of year for a number of reasons and my brother's health and then my additional health on top of health were added stressors, so while I'm sure no one is "surprised" that this month was awful, it didn't really help me to know "boy, things are difficult right now."
So this was a good weekend. Because it wasn't awful. And I have really good people in my life.
I still don't feel awesome, but the amount of better I feel is a huge relief.