My life right now feels like it has a "before" and an "after".
A time when something happened..... changed... and nothing has been quite the same since.
Before, I used to write a week's worth of blog posts on a Sunday and let them post throughout the week. I liked doing that a lot.
I would sometimes write other times as well, but by the end of the night Sunday, I knew I could relax and that the storytelling would happen throughout the week and I'd just keep an eye on comments and make mental notes on what I might want to talk about the next time I sat down to write.
Well, after.... that didn't happen anymore. Because I couldn't write about almost anything. Because I didn't want to write about a lot of things. Most notably, "the" thing.
I'm sure I've hinted at it or mumbled my way through attempted secretive tellings of and around it but one thing's for certain, I got out of my habit of weekend writing.
So here I am, Sunday night. Having had the intention to spend part of today writing out a week's worth of posts but inspiration did not happen. The muse is still on a smoke break. Or something. All expenses paid trip to the sub Saharan desert, I don't know. So I'm probably going to have to do some forcing or pushing of myself until I can break through that lack. That block. That missing.
I've been waiting for things to go back to normal. But it's been a long long time and it may be that "normal" isn't coming back.
At least not in a way I recognize.
But the long days are here, and that is giving me so much.