Friday, 20 March 2020

It's Not

I was thinking about what I said yesterday about having a hard time with this and not really being able to accept things as real or something and I realized that that's probably because this is really effing not normal.

Like, I lived through nine eleven.  I remember that feeling of "what?" but also, not to be unkind, but that was an entire country away.  Yes it affected us here, we didn't know if the ferries would be shut down or if "they" were coming after us too, we didn't know anything, but this is different.

This is waking up to press conference announcements from our Prime Minister about closing borders (at least partially, but we won't go into that) and suggestions to stay home, and talk of financial aid for the businesses and industries and people impacted by this.  This isn't normal.  Nor do I want it to ever become normal.

This is reading about people being laid off and let go, small businesses shutting down for.... who knows how long?  Testing clinics being set up.  Help lines being overwhelmed.  Elective surgeries and dental visits being cancelled.  None of this is normal.

I guess it's "normal" that I don't feel like it's normal.  Because it's not.

And I guess I'm allowed to hate it and hate the feeling and be upset and confused that I don't really know what to do or how to "best" handle things.


Jason Langlois said...

Its so out of the norm and new that I'm not sure we have an appropriate reaction. I'm frustrated at people who keep trying to downplay it, but also frustrated at the people who are overreacting... but then not sure what "over" even means in this context.

When I thought about living to make it to 2020, I was thinking "flying cars!", not "oligarchic medical dystopia"...

Victoria said...

I think you're absolutely right in that there is no prior knowledge for any of us on how to handle this kind of thing.... and even a huge sense of "what is this thing?"

I'm frustrated too but try to give leeway as it's new. Not to joke, but this is our first major pandemic... really...

I think many of us thought it would likely be similar to the other "mass illnesses" we've see over the years and so we maybe shrugged the reports off for a while and now there's a bewilderment.

And I keep saying, I have no idea what "over reacting" is. Honestly. Plus, add in anxiety like I have at the moment and I know even less. I don't know where the line between over and under reacting is and it feels like it's frightening to make the wrong choice...?

I had just hoped this year would be calmer than last....