Sick But Not Virally

I got tested for Covid last week.

I know, that came out of nowhere, didn't it?  But yeah.  I did.

I'm negative, I'll start with that, and relieved to be so even though I was fairly sure I was. 

Anyway...

I am entirely sure that I stressed myself sick.

I have been having an incredibly hard time with the stuff happening in the States this last couple of weeks.  The ongoing police killings of unarmed folks, largely Black/African-American, and the resulting protests against police brutality and for Black Lives Matter.  I am devastated by the hurt perpetuated and by the deep amount of violence accepted, and last week I wasn't able to look away.  I kept reading about it and watching it and getting more and more upset and I don't even really have the words to describe it because I'm trying to be polite, and somewhat... neutral?  But I stressed and stressed and I ended up waking up one morning feeling sick.

I felt like I had a cold.  I was sniffly, and run down and exhausted.  I said as much to Jason and C-Dawg.  I vented to C-Dawg that I missed the days of having a cold and the only thought was "ugh, I have a cold." rather than wondering if this was the onset of Covid-19.  "Get tested!" she said.  "I'm not sick enough for that," I countered.  Because I wasn't.  I had a cold, and a particularly mild one at that, and I knew I had done it to myself with stress. 

I upped my Vitamin C and Zinc, I drank Orange juice, I rested, I kept up my water and fluids, I did all the things one does with a cold.  And... just because... I stayed inside.

The next day, I felt no better, and so just because, I used the Covid-19 app our province put out.

I'd used it when it first came out and at that time I got told to "stay home and manage symptoms" which is what I assumed it would say this time too.  Except this time, when I said "yes" to having "very mild" cold-like symptoms it suggested I get tested.

I was surprised.

But also felt it was completely un-necessary.  I had a cold.

The next next day I felt no better and I guess I started to wonder a bit.  So I called 8-1-1 (our medical call line), and I explained to the nurse there that I felt I had a mild cold but that the app suggested I get tested and that I thought that was totally un-necessary but thought I'd call just in case.

She explained that because some people have Covid with extremely mild symptoms, and some with none at all, it wasn't so much about me being sick, and more about public health being able to trace what was happening where, so yes, they'd like me to get tested.

She said that if I chose not to get tested, I would have to self isolate for 10 days anyway.  So I told her I'd think about it, and she passed me on the number for our local health authority to call about a test.

I'll be honest here and tell you that I panicked.

Not so much about potentially having Covid, as I wasn't feeling too unwell, but about the test itself.  I have some anxiety around medical stuff and health to begin with, and the idea of having to take the test and what it entails and what the results might be and I just panicked.

I think what convinced me was the combination having to fully isolate and what that all might mean, and the fact that they were wanting it done for the benefit of the public.... that kind of tipped me over into, ok, I should do this.... not so much for me, but for others.  Ok.  I'll do it.

So I called our health authority and, well, this post is long enough, so I'll pause for now and just, yeah.... as my brother said, I guess they have capacity to test more folks right now so they are.  And I am grateful a test was offered to me, even with such mild symptoms.