Specifically, I mean things from my youth and childhood. Details. Stories. How things went, what happened. Memories and recollections I honestly thought would just always be there... because I lived them, and experienced them.
And I would imagine this is normal and just what happens as you continue to age and make more... newer memories and I'm not saying that I think I have a memory issue exactly... just that I'm sad that I am no longer entirely certain about things.
I can't remember (sigh, ha) exactly what it was that prompted this realization and thought but I think I was having a conversation with Jason about something "when we were kids" and I tried to recall an event and it was too fuzzy.
I've been saying for a while now that some of the things I'm taking for anxiety and such smudge my memory. I mentioned this to a couple of friends and they laughed it off saying that was just us getting older, but I don't know. Again, I'm not worried about a memory issue, I just do not like this feeling of loss. Loss of ME and my stories. I suppose I'm wishing I'd kept my diaries (I got rid of them all at some point) even though I know many of them wouldn't have been about the day to day and more about my FEEEEELLLLINGSSSSSSSSS. I'm sure I could start writing down said stories and events and recollections now, but there's already that seed of doubt... am I remembering this accurately?
Some things are seared into my brain. (Or are they?) And there are things that I swear I can still *feel* from when I was a kid, or "young adult" or whatever. But I wish I still had crystal clear recollection of more things than I feel like I do right now. Is this just another kind of crap thing I'm supposed to accept about getting older?