Monday, 23 November 2020

Let's Try That Again

I thought I'd started a post, but it turns out I'd just replied to a text so um yeah, how's your Monday going?

I, like every other month this year, am looking at the calendar/date a little baffled.  I get it... time is a construct and time ticks on  no matter what is going on in our human day to day. 

I don't listen to the health authority announcements anymore.  I don't listen to or watch the Prime Minister speeches.  I do, occasionally watch a summary and I certainly look to the media for the gist of what's going on but for me the truth is I've pretty much been in lockdown since March (because of my life and life situation right now) so the province going into a "two week" attempted lockdown changes nothing for me.  But.... it stresses me out.

It stresses me out because I don't know what others are going to do and there is a loud minority that gets a lot of attention that is doing and saying things that I personally feel are counterproductive to the health of our province, city, country and ME and my loved ones.  

I'm not a public health person, I'm not an epidemiologist (Wow did I spell that right first go!?), I'm not a politician.... it's not my job to figure this stuff out or to figure out how to best protect/guide the public.  I try to remind myself that I can only do what I can do... keep my distance, wash my hands, wear my mask, etc etc.  And I also have to be aware of my mental health and the fact that anxiety and depression lead my thoughts in certain not helpful ways. 

Me being anxious about a potential surge/spike in cases and hospitalizations post "Holiday season" is not going to help anyone.   If I worry at 100% for the next month it still won't change anything.  My family has made their choices about Christmas (no visits, no gatherings - presents not necessary) and if any of them had thought to have a gathering I would have had to make my own choices around that.  I can't control anyone else.  If a friend asks me for advice I suppose I can give it but it's hard not to feel an anxiety that if I just STRESS OUT enough.... things will be ok.

Because they'll be what they'll be... all my counselling and stuff tries to point this out to me on the regular.


Anyway.  It's the end of November.  Whether it  feels like it or not.  I'm still not doing much, not seeing many, etc etc.  I could get better with my hand washing and sanitizing I suppose.  I wonder about trying out some different masks than those I have, but also don't want to spend more money.  

Er... sorry for the downer post on a Monday... insert something mildly amusing here to change the topic?

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