Tuesday, 1 December 2020

The First

Oh crap, it's December.

Sorry, that's not how I intended to start this post but when I went to set the date and time to publish, I clicked on "Tuesday" and the calendar flipped over to December and, well, yeah... that.

As you may know, even in non-pandemic years I have been skipping the malls and shops as much as possible from mid-October on to avoid the HOLIDAY STRESS (tm) I feel from folks and add that to whatever pandemic and now mask mandate stress and I just... no.

Jason has gone to the mall once or twice in the last week or so and each time he texted me "It's crazy!" and, well, yeah... it's that time of year, you know?

I am really really not feeling Christmas this year.  Even more so than the last few years.  This year is just... not.  I haven't "felt" much this year, rather have just skimmed through whatever dates were supposed to stand out, and that's ok.

I have purchased gifts for a few loved ones, and I only have to drop two off - the others were dealt with remotely (if that makes sense).  Jason I'll likely see around the holidays as he is my one person I am bubble allowed to see as a single person who lives alone (thanks for that exception Dr Henry.)  And my parents, I will bag up the gifts and remote drop the bag off at a distance as we've done with other things throughout the year.  If the weather is decent we may visit outside for a bit but they say they're fine with "cancelling" this year entirely and I'm glad they're saying that, even if the fine should be more like a "quotation fine but not really fine" sort of thing.

I'm ok with another quiet Christmas as that's what I've done for many reasons the last few years (mainly my sanity... seriously).  I will try not to be concerned about what others around the province are choosing to do and how that will impact things.... I will try not to worry over what January may look like because again, I can't control it.  I will try not to worry that people seem to think that with the new year will come .... a new year and that pandemics clearly don't pay attention to calendars and it becoming 2021 won't mean a sudden end and return to what used to be.

But, yeah, it's December.  The final month of a year that was... very and that I really feel like didn't quite happen.

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