So...

So I'm still not feeling well.  Not that I'd expect a miraculous turnaround anyway, but still.... not great this morning.

I feel a little physically unwell this morning - partly, I imagine, due to female hormone monthly things (?) but also probably cuz tired.

It's weird.  Yesterday I woke up and was WIDE AWAKE and like FULL of energy!  So I did things.  Laundry, cleaning, sorting, work stuff, printing, finishing addressing Xmas cards, I did things because I had all the energy and I felt rested and good.  This morning, I do not feel rested.  I feel sleepy and tired and drained.  My eyes are heavy and my throat's a little sore and yes, I have my period. (But I did yesterday too.)

I'm frustrated with the tension I feel in my body, most notably tightness in my jaws - ever since the flooding, it's like I can't unclench and it's annoying and uncomfortable.  I've tried various things and it has started to come and go a bit but it's all clenched up this morning.  

I feel like I should go for a walk.  Haven't been on a longer one yet this week and yes, it's a little dreary and damp out there but hey, it's Fall, soon to be Winter, I'd never go outside if I avoided days like this so....

I may have mentioned it but my part time work is Mon-Wed, which means I have Thursday and Friday off.  Which really is the only reason I'm surviving.  Ok, not the *only* reason but one of the main ones.  Friday tends to be a delight for me.  I try to keep it free of appointments and I know I've got a few more days off so it feels great.  On Saturdays I wake up and start to feel anxious about having to return to work "soon", and on Sundays, I'm that stereotypical miserable.  It's hard.  But, I do have that "bonus" Thursday and Friday, so I'm grateful for that for sure.

The news and social media depress me horribly.  Even though I have good people and positive things, the heavy is so prevalent.  I worry.  About running low on gas again.  Not eating well enough to stay healthy (and not put on weight).  About how everyone seems to hate everyone... women, people who are not white, poor people, anti-vaxxers, vaxxers, everything.  I do have a logical understanding of the news cycle and what they seem to need to attract readers and paying customers but I'm so tired and sad and scared.

I think I'll maybe try to go for a walk.  Will tell myself it doesn't have to be long... maybe just half an hour?  And see how it goes from there.  (But I don't want to... I don't want to get changed and leave my comfy clothes and couch and blanket and comfort... sigh.)

Updated to add:  That was COLD!!!!