And Here We Are

It's Burning Man time right now.  It's happening for the first time (officially) since 2019.  I'm not there.  I mean, I think that much is obvious with me not talking about it and talking about packing for it over the last month or so.

It's hard this year, not going.  Even though I wouldn't feel comfortable going (pandemic wise travel wise) and wouldn't be able to pay off my VISA if I went and more than likely wouldn't be able to take the time needed off work, but honestly?  I thought about going.  For the first time in years.

There was a day or two a couple of weeks back when I kind of thought about just saying "fuck it" and finding a ticket and taking my car and just driving.  I figured I could handle four days on playa and then a four day drive back and maybe a fast two days down so just about ten days needed off work?  Yeah, I could do this!  That's what credit cards are for right?  Just... wing it.  Just... drive and drive and go and be there and come home and have had an adventure.

I really did consider it.

But... I didn't.  I'm not.  I talked myself out of it, mainly for the financial hit it would be but also for the damage it would do to my car and just, like... while the idea was great, the actual doing of it would be less great.  Probably.  Possibly.

But yeah, it's hard this year.  A few of us who aren't going are feeling it extra hard this year - the missing.  

I haven't admitted it fully to my American friends but I don't know when I'll ever feel comfortable travelling there again.

Or, let me be honest, comfortable travelling again... anywhere?

But that's just me.  Right now.  

So I both wish I was there and am ok with not being there, but not really.

It's not so much FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) but just more sadness at not being at this amazing thing in this amazing place.  I mean I haven't been since 2016.  And that's a long time even without a global pandemic and lockdown and all the shit we and I have been through.  Six years of not going.  Two of those with no event at all though... and we figure that's why this year is extra difficult.

 

 

 

There is a live stream if you're so interested.  Mixed feelings about it, but I will probably watch the man burn this weekend.  (I have each year since 2017... with mixed emotion)