I ran into one of my neighbours last week coming down the stairs. I said hello and debating telling her she looked so well put together (cuz her outfit really did look great) but I didn't and kept heading out to my car.
As I did, I realized that in my brain I see her and I think I'm her age (she is that mystery age of mid 20s to mid 30s probably/possibly?) and she looks at me and I bet she does not think I'm her age.
It's that weird realization I have from time to time of "I have no idea how people see me".
I guess I'm middle aged? I probably look middle aged? And what I was wearing at that time was NOT well put together (sweats and hoodie and rain jacket... basically as comfy as possible and functional for the weather.... I was going to the dentist and decided that if I had to be there I wanted my comfy clothes on). So I probably looked... I dunno... like her... aunt? Mother? Neither, just "older"? (Oh lord this train of thought is no fun.)
Aging is a weird thing for me to think about. Were I to, I suppose I could do (and pay for) some of the anti aging thingies out there... the surgeries or medical thingies, but even if I managed to stretch my skin to look "less old" I would still be physically the same age. I could eat and drink all the "anti aging" whatevers and I would still be the age I am. And one day older by the next morning. So even if I looked her age, I would not *be* her age. This is just life.
But it was strange to think about the fact that I think I am the "same" age of people younger than me and they most likely don't think the same. In fact, I have no idea how old people think I am but I'd bet you it's out of the 30s.
Sigh.
I wish I had known I was young when I was young... you know? (Or something... I guess I just wish my 20s and maybe 30s had *felt* different in how I saw myself and my body/looks.)
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