Sigh. Feel Free To Skip This One!

When Jason and I went camping a year ago, I was injured going in.

I've wanted to talk about this because we might go camping next month and so thinking about it brought up the memories and how crazy I was and, I think, how proud of myself I could/should be.

But.... to be honest, I also have not wanted to talk about this because it feels embarrassing.  Because it kind of is.

Ok, so let me just... take a deep breath and say it.

Last year, I injured my butthole .  There.  I said it.  Now you know.  BUT (ironic)!  Before you start trying to figure out HOW, I promise you it's not what you think.

I don't think it's proper or polite to talk about certain body parts and this is one of them.  The issue was a weird one to boot.  My understanding is that often people, uh... tear that... um... delicate area, with something either... ahem... coming out or going in.  That was NOT the case with me!  (I SWEAR!)

I don't think you want to think too carefully or too much about this, but what happened is that I tore the skin... just by existing.

No.  Seriously.

I didn't know that using "bathroom wipes" actually weakens and irritates the (what is apparently very sensitive and delicate) skin down there.  But I'd been using them, and not knowing that my skin was therefore extra friable.

And so I was literally just sitting at home, in my comfy pjs, without undies (I think this is a key issue) and when I got up off of the couch I felt a SHARP pain in my butt... hole... area but kind of went "well that was sore" and shrugged it off.  What I didn't know is that somehow the way I moved, uh... separated my um... butt... cheeks in such a way as they spread more than, uh... usual?  And the inner skin didn't like that and, well, yeah... tore.

My butthole ripped.  (Not from a poop and not from, um... ahem... anything else.)

You guys?  Do not do this.  Do not.

The pain would come really randomly and was debilitating.  Like Jason and I went grocery shopping and somehow the way I got out of the car was "wrong" and I couldn't move.  I was sobbing (yes, literally) against the side of my car due to pain "down there" and Jason really wondered if he should take me to the ER.

This, by the way, was when we were shopping for groceries for our camping trip OMG.

I think I had a phone call with my doctor and described the pain and she figure out it was a tear (fissue) and recommended a course of action (she assumed I'd had difficulty passing a poop and had me go on fiber laxative type I don't know what and I just said ok because even though that was not the issue I would have tried anything to make the pain stop).

It's a year ago now so I don't exactly remember the treatment, but I did stop using the wipes and I found myself a portable bidet (as my bathroom isn't set up with enough room to attach an actual bidet, I tried) and I was very very very fastidious about keeping things... uh.... clean and medicated and I was super seriously careful about how I sat and stood up!

But then there was the camping trip.  Jason told me it was totally ok to cancel as he'd seen how much pain I was in the day we went shopping.

I, for reasons I can't explain, was completely stubborn about insisting we go.  Even with what was going on going on.  I knew it would take some extra thinking around how I did things, especially cleaning... private areas, but I'd wanted to go on the trip and I didn't want to sit at home miserable and healing.  

Not sure it was wise, but I went on the trip!  I took the portable bidet with me (it's portable after all!) and like a little bag of stuff I carried to and from the porta potties whenever I needed to go to them and honestly once the doctor explained what was going on and I stopped using the wipes and started using water and some soap and whatever else (I feel like there was a medication I applied?? OH and a sitz bath!) the pain got much much better and I worked really really extra hard

I healed fairly quickly (although not until a few weeks after the trip) but yeah, thinking right now about going on a camping trip, I can't remember what made me think it was a good idea go leave the extremely sanitary running water and available bath/shower/etc situation to go to a less than sanitary camp ground.  (But also to be fair, you can keep your butt hole pretty clean if you try!)

So, yeah... last year, I broke my "you don't want to break this body part" ouchy ouch and then I went camping anyway.

I guess when you don't get a lot of holiday time off you don't want to give up what little time off you have!