I have an online friend who, like me, uses a pseudonym and doesn't share photos or very many personal identifying details.
We've known each other for years and in private messages have gotten to know each other. Sure, they may have been lying but I believe the things they told me and I know their job and their living situation and I know that they recently had surgery and recovery wasn't going well. (It was a knee thing, rather than a major like heart or cancer type thing but still.)
Well, no one has heard from this person in over a month. They haven't posted or responded to any messages. Right now, their page is posts from others, like me who are concerned. I've reached out to another mutual friend (who does use a real name and shares photos, etc.) and they haven't heard from them either.
A couple of weeks ago, someone made the comment that they'd heard he died. And I was devastated. In part, because I would never know. And because I would miss him. Even never having actually met him. Perhaps other generations had something similar with pen pals (I picked one of those up from the Hong Kong pavillion at Expo 86!) or something.... maybe the letters just stopped, but I'd imagine if so you could look up an obituary or something, I don't know, I'm just saying having a connection with someone you have never met feels like a brand new thing but it probably isn't... maybe.
But anyway. Someone the other day posted that they think maybe he has just been kicked off of the social media site, and I'm more ok with that thought than the thought that he has died. I don't know what happens when you're kicked off, like are you allowed to make another "fake name" account from your same IP address or maybe not? Maybe he's not able to make a new account. I suppose I had just thought "well maybe if he's just been kicked off he'll reach out at some point." But then would I remember the names of all the folks I've chatted with? I'm not sure.
I'm just so sad at the fact that I may never know if this person has passed away and sad that I never got to say goodbye or find out what happened, or tell their loved ones I cared about them.
So in that vein... to all of you who have ever commented here, I think about you, I care about you, I love you and I will miss you if you pass on. Thank you for being part of my life here. Please stay well, ok?
4 comments:
Our parasocial relationships are already emotionally hard, but when you actual have a social relationship with "internet" people, it hits harder.
We engage with people on so many different platforms (forums, blogs, discord, twitch, youtube comments, etc.) ... I do wonder when I see a common poster name just stop.
My hope is this is a case of being kicked off the platform.
That's my hope as well. *hugs*
I hope they either got kicked off or decided to stop posting for whatever reason. I hope they are ok.
I may not read every day, but I do catch up on your posts, and I do wish you all the best.
I hope so too.
And I wish you (and yours) all the best too E!
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