No Shhhhhhhs For You!

One of the things I haven't appreciated about this stressful situation is how my brain is first thing in the morning.

I'm very grateful that other than that first night or two of things I've managed to get to sleep (with help).

But on the weekend I had plans to just sleep in and keep resting and my brain had other ideas.

This is not new but when there is something stressing me out and that I'm anxious about, it's like the *instant* I'm conscious in the morning my brain hits me with an anxious thought about what I HAVE TO DO and I can't calm myself back to sleep.

Like even if I try to tell myself "It's a Saturday, things aren't open for another 2-3 hours, you can't do anything, go back to sleep" my body is then in high stress alert and I can't get back to sleep.

And then of course even if I try to lay there resting then my bladder reminds me that it wouldn't mind if I went and peed so it's like well I guess I'm up now.  At stupid o'clock on a non work day.  Sigh.

And as happy as I am to have gotten sleep, even if I'd managed to calm myself the evening/night before, I'm now in highly anxious in the morning.  It's lame and it sucks and it is not fun.

I mean sure getting up early on a non work day gives me a long morning, that in theory lets me do things like be ready to go to the gym earlier than usual,  but I really wouldn't mind some sleeping in, you know?

And I would really REALLY like to wake up and not be freaking out anxious before I've even thrown the covers off.