Sooooooo......

I have a family dinner tonight to see visiting relatives I have only ever seen a handful of time in my life.

And?  We have no hot water in my building.

Double and?  I didn't wash my hair yesterday because I was going to wash it today.  

Today is a Sunday.  I noticed the lack of hot water when I was going to bed last night.  No idea who to call as we're only supposed to call on weekends if it's a life threatening emergency and technically this kind of isn't?  But also I'd like to have hot water?

I mean either I'll wash my hair in a cold shower or I'll put it up and hope for the best. 

 

Edited to update 1pm:   I called the service people on call line (even though it really didn't feel like an emergency) and they came out and now we have hot water again YAY!  Hair washed, phew.  

Ow!

I have dealt with and been dealing with various stomach upsets for decades now.  I am usually pretty good at knowing what set off or triggered a stomach issue, and I'm usually able to match a symptom to a food.

Like, too much gluten for too many days in a row?  That's a sharp stabbing pain right *there* (points to the location).  Certain candies?  A combo of pain and reflux felt in the esophagus more than the stomach. Etc. etc.  I've gotten pretty good at knowing what did it (garlic, onion, etc.) and how to help it settle down a bit more.  (Weirdly, no idea why, but often sugar will settle my stomach.  Go figure.  7Up is a go-to for upsets.)

Which is why I'm quite confused by whatever has been going on with my stomach for the last few days.... 

It started almost a week ago now with me having some DELICIOUS in season local fruit (as I have done for weeks and weeks now... quite happily) with my mid morning meal and then getting nauseated.  That was weird.  I thought about what I'd eaten and none of them were trigger foods so maybe it was just a random nausea?  (Nausea is my least fave, but usually I have stuff I can take to shut it down pretty quick.)

The next day I had different fruit and the same thing happened.  Nausea right after.  What on EARTH was going on?

I wondered if maybe the fruit had some kind of issue (bacteria or spoilage or something?) but with it being cherries and then blueberries that didn't seem likely (plus I wash things, not that that's perfect but still.)  Hmm.... I started to get suspicious that something bigger than "bad fruit" was going on.

I know I've been having a LOT of dairy lately.  In my efforts to up my protein, I've been having either greek yogurt or Skyr every night (they're both pretty decent in protein) and because I'm not good with dairy anymore I've been taking lactaid and it's been fine.

But I wondered if maybe it hasn't actually been fine and I have irritated my stomach and the fruit just happened to set it off.  Maybe I had too many days of dairy in a row rather than having something else some nights.  So I cut that out of my diet for that night.

I also got rid of what was left of the fruit as it was still setting off nausea, and that was a real bummer, but just in case it was the cause somehow.

I can't remember how many nights in it was, but I hadn't had dairy for probably three or four days at this point, and at about 3am that night I was woken up by a very painful stomach.

Pain in a way I did not recognize.  As I said above, I'm usually able to pinpoint what kind of stomach pain it is and know how to deal with it.  This wasn't a recognizable pain to me.   I wasn't able to sleep or lie on my side, I could only be on my back for it to be bearable so I got out of bed and went to the bathroom.  That was, to be polite, uneventful so it's not like it was gas pain or needing to go to the bathroom or anything and my stomach felt rock hard.  Maybe a little sticky out, and hard to the touch.  It was weird and not something I'm used to.

I started to wonder about food poisoning but I didn't have any other digestive symptoms, just the pain.

I went back to bed and still wasn't able to be in a side position so I just lay on my back and hoped I would fall asleep which I eventually did, but it wasn't a great night due to that whole "woken up by pain" thing.

I tried to take it easy on what I ate the next day and I was in a weird limbo of kind of being hungry but also being afraid of eating in case it caused pain or nausea or something.

I think it was yesterday when I woke up thinking "ok, I think my stomach is better now" and I figure that is about five days.  I'm still avoiding dairy... am kind of scared of it to be honest.  

I have no actual idea of what went on (or is still going on but just mildly?)  Did I have mild food poisoning?  Have I had too much dairy for too long?  Did I catch a flu bug of some sort?  I really don't know.  I just know that my stomach was getting nauseated from fruit (which has never been an issue for me before) and then I had a nasty middle of the night stomach pain and I don't know what happened or how to stop it from happening again.  And I'm worried about how to get my protein at night now if I'm not ok to take the yogurts.  (Protein at night is helping my mental state, I've just not gotten around to writing about it yet but trust me I need that protein at night... and not something "heavy"... and no, I'm not great with beans... sigh)

So yeah.  My stomach was painful enough to wake me up and I don't know why that happened.  (And yes I have had a little bit of fruit as of yesterday and I wasn't nauseated so thankfully I didn't suddenly become allergic to fruit.) 

It's Still August And Summer

We had a few hot days (not stupid hot just uncomfortable hot) and at first they said it would last all week and then the apps started to disagree with each other and now it looks like maybe rain (probably not?) and some cooler temps (but not actually cool/cold) and then we'll hit September and it, as far as I can think on a rather tired brain, is usually warm too.

So... still dealing with heat, which means dealing with the noise of the cooling devices (that I am very grateful for) so my nerves aren't as chill as I'd like them to be.   

Philosophical Musing

I've been thinking for a few weeks now about what, technically, is happening in bed in the morning before I get up.

As I understand it we 'wake' several times a night to varying degrees going in and out of sleep cycles and such.  

So when I am in the "early morning" type range, say 5am or so and I notice it's maybe kind of light out and I know it's not yet time to get up and I go back to sleep, am I napping?

Like am I napping when I "sleep in" in the morning or am I still sleeping because I've now lain in bed a few times wondering about that.

I mean a few mornings ago I got up at 7am and went pee and then went back to bed and that seems like a nap but also seems like I went back to sleep.

Is a nap defined by its length?  It's timing?  Location?  Time of day?  

I'm sure there are no defined answers to this but until my brain decides to stop wondering about it, it's on my mind.  Am I napping in bed most mornings or am I continuing to sleep? 

ERMAGHERDDDDD!!!!

So you know how from time to time over the years I have found (and documented) random banana peels I've found all around?  And we've always wondered where they came from and why and how?

Well?  I may have found the source!  It still leave a lot of questions to be fair, but look at this!!!!

BANANAS!!!!!!  STILL IN THE PEEL!!!!  Just... SCATTERED THERE FOR NO REASON!!!!

This is a real breakthrough.

Not an answer.  But... something.

(I'm not sure what!) 

 

Uh....

I think I just like put out a rib or something from napping?

Sigh.  Why do bodies gotta be so... picky?

Also, I'm pretty sure it's because I kept resetting my alarm (I set one when I nap so I don't nap too long) and then not moving and so I stayed on my one side for too long rather than the normal moving and shifting you do when you actually sleep (or actually nap for an hour straight.) 

Transformers! (More Than Meets The Eye!)

So I got to see what it looks like when an electrical transformer blows up!

Or... I got to see the aftermath of something *like* that, I'm not entirely sure.

I had just gotten into bed and was settling down to read my book which means I face the windows.  My blinds are half up, as always, to let whatever air might be cool in and I hear a BIG explosion and see "lighting" and although it was raining this wasn't *right* for lightning and thunder.

The explosion was VERY loud and not thunder-y and the flash was similar to lightning but not quite the right colour (that I'm used to... it was more blue maybe?) but I still wasn't sure what was going on so I got out of bed and checked online and sure enough a local site had a "what was that!?" post and people thought it was maybe a transformer blowing and people mentioned a power outage semi-nearby.

Now I'd figured if I was close enough to see and hear a transformer blowing up my power would go off, but it didn't and it wasn't until the next morning, seeing the hydro company's website saying "tree across our lines" that I got to find out where it was (a few streets over) and because I don't understand electrical grids or lines I have no idea how localized the outage was but a few days later I did go for a discovery walk and found that one of the lovely old old trees that this part of town has fell over, thankfully missing any structures (or people or anything) but yeah.  I won't say "seeing a transformer explode" was on a bucket list or anything and I'm not 100% sure a transformer did blow up or what exactly the flash was but I feel like I can say I saw enough of what it does look like that I can check that off of my "things I've seen" list!

Glad it went as well as it did with no injuries and no fire and no wide spread power outage, yay. 

I Have No Idea Anymore

So you might remember that a while ago (like more than a month ago) I got bitten up by something (and I was really worried it was bed bugs).

Well, I'm here to tell you that the bites specifically on my arm STILL ITCH.

Not all the time, but still.  This is unfair!  It's been at least six weeks and I wake up almost every morning and they itch.  I put stuff on them and have no idea if it makes a difference or if I've just gotten used to the itching or what.

A few weeks after the bites though a friend at the water fitness class said she got bitten up by midges and she showed me the bites and the ones on her arm were the exact same pattern as the ones on my arm so maybe there is something *at* the gym (locker rooms?) or maybe in the air by the gym or maybe that's just another really weird coincidence but it did make me feel better that there are likely not bugs in my apartment.  (I hope)

But yeah, I don't know that I've had bites itch this long, and I don't know if it's whatever bit me or the heat or my age or what but I do know I do not like and I would like to not do it again and I would love to find something topical I can put on them that actually helps for more than three minutes! (I've tried all the over the counter things and... nothing does much to make a dent when the itching is really bad.) 

D'oh

Do you ever have those days where you're just not on top of things and your brain isn't quite with you?

Yeah, that was me the other day.  Or, morning at least!

I was heading to the pool for exercise class and I also really needed to take my compost out, so I pulled out and tied up the bag and put a new one in the bin and headed down stairs to drop it in the big bin before I went to the pool.  

I was halfway down the stairs when I realized I hadn't brought my gym bag.  You know, the one with the swimsuit and towel and stuff I'd actually need?  Yeah.

So back up the stairs I went.  

Grabbed my gym bag, threw it over one shoulder and had the compost bag still in the other hand.  Got downstairs and chucked the compost into the bin. 

Which is the moment I realized I'd thrown it into the wrong bin.  (I"d chucked it in the blue hard plastics bin, no the green compost bin.)  Which.... the bins had been recently emptied so I had to reach aaaaall the way down to near the bottom (fortunately I could reach!) to grab my compost bag back out and put it in the proper bin and so yeah... brain wasn't at a hundred percent yet that morning, that's for sure!

Whoopsies! 

Oh, No, That's Not What I Meant

My regular counsellor is away for a few months (I will not see him for four months I think) and so I'm working with a new to me person in the meantime.

It's a slightly different modality but still we've had the sort of getting to know you starting sessions and because it's in the same location as my regular counsellor, I think part of my brain assumes this new person knows all about me.  Which, as it turns out is, of course, wrong.

I was explaining to her that sometimes I just don't want to do the thing.  Like, in this case, get groceries.  That I know I'm not going to starve, I have food, I just need a few things more, or I'm running low and oh my lord I do not want to do it.  Sometimes I'll put it off and then get stressed that if I put it off too long it'll be a really bad day and then I'll have to get groceries despite it being a bad day because I put it off for "too long" but sometimes I just really don't want to.

She paused and then said that that sounded like agoraphobia.  (Where people don't want to leave their house, or where people avoid places they feel are unsafe, etc.)

Oh no, I had to clarify.  I have no fears of the grocery store.  It's not about being scared of going there at all, just that I really don't want to do it.  I can't be bothered?  I don't want to be bothered?  But shopping is fine, not scary, just... annoying!?

And that's why I have to remember to not assume that counsellors are always right in their interpretation of whatever you share with them.  Cuz no, I'm not afraid of shopping, I just find it a chore and so often don't want to do it.  That's all! 

That Was Fast!

When I park at my place, I reverse in to the spot (makes it easier to leave, angle wise) which means looking behind me.

The other night, I was parking after hanging out at Jason's place for dinner, and when I glanced behind to back in, I noticed a spider like strand.  You know, when they jump from place to place and there's like the one strand of web?  

So after I parked, I opened a back door and was about to wipe away that strand when I saw that, no, it wasn't ONE strand of web, a spider had built an ENTIRE WEB in the back area of my car!!!! Reaching across the gaps between the seats, if you know what I mean.  Like one anchor point was on the back of the front seat and the other was on the back seat.  AN ENTIRE WEB!!!!

I had only been at Jason's for hmm maybe 6 or 7 hours and while I'm sure it doesn't take that long to make a nest, we had gotten groceries and there was no web at that time so my guess is that because I parked under/near a tree there, the spider got in and figure it was a good spot for a web.  Spoiler... I don't think it is, but what do I know, just being a human and all.

So because I don't kill spiders, but I also didn't have anything on hand to move the spider outside with I grabbed a piece of cardboard from the recycling bin and knocked down the web and tried to get the spider on it to drop it outside which is when I found the SECOND SPIDER!  Which.. I dunno, I don't think they share webs so maybe just two spiders got into my car and only one of them thought to make a web or maybe they were chilling together or maybe I ruined what was going to be some fun spider party I don't know!  But while cardboard may be good for knocking down a web, it is difficult to get a spider on a flat surface (car seat... flat.. ish) to get ON the cardboard and so there was quite a battle of me trying not to squish the spider while also trying to not lose it in my car and trying to escort it outside.

But yeah, a spider made a web inside my car over the span of a few hours and I am kind of baffled by the whole thing! 

Mid August

So, it's mid August and I haven't really posted in a couple of weeks.  Guess I needed a break.  Happy I didn't beat myself up about it, to be honest. 

I'm going to try to ease myself back into the writing habit, so you may get some random, unrelated posts as I refer back to the notes I wrote myself over the last while.   

Lots has gone on, I'm sure, so here's to hopefully getting back into writing and posting, even if it's just for me and the handful of you who drop by from time to time.  Hope you're hanging in as well.  It's weird out there, you know?

I Have Blog Posts In My Brain

And I even start to write them out in my head.  But it's not happening at the right times these days!  Which means when I have a moment to sit and write the GREAT THOUGHTS I had last night are gone bye byeeeeeee!

We've Been Lucky

It's a wildfire smoke day today.... we've been lucky to "get off easy" with this the last few years for sure.

It's a cooler day, forecasts calling for cloud cover and lower temps, which for me means windows open and getting cool air in.

But about half an hour ago (not long after ten am) the air coming in started to distinctly smell like smoke.  Campfire, wild fire smoke, to be specific.  

The "smoke forecasts" suggest this was going to happen but it's always a bummer when you notice it.

I've got my air purifiers on, but I'm wondering if I may have to close up my windows.  

I also turned off the bedroom fan that is right by the window pulling in air.  Probably not ideal to pull in unhappy air, you know?

There's talk of rain later this coming week and I hope it happens, especially where it's most needed to help with fire containment...

But yeah, I'm grateful I haven't had to deal with this for a while, while also bummed that I'm needing to deal with it today (or at all).

 

Well, That's A New One!

I'm fairly used to finding bruises, especially on my legs that I don't remember getting.  I'm pretty sure I walk in to something, say ouch and forget and then bruise.  Or... something like that.

I'm also used to finding cuts on my fingers and not having noticed the moment the paper cut it or the moment I ran it into something, I don't even know how I get most of the scrapes I find on my fingers.

But this one?  This is a first.

I was washing something yesterday and thought "wow, I got a paper cut on my thumb, go figure" and then as the day went on I thought "isn't it weird that it really burns when I run it under hot water, usually only burns do that," and then after a few times of that exact same thought I got a flashlight and actually looked at the owie and, well it is indeed a burn.  That I have no idea how I got.

Which... come on.  Burns hurt at the time of happening.  I usually will stop whatever to run it under cool water for a while.  I always notice "ouch I just burnt myself."  How did I burn my thumb and not notice!?  On what?  When?  

So yeah, that's a new one. 

And Then There Was That

Oh yeah, so we had a tsunami advisory (one level up from a watch) yesterday.

I got a little worried (my anxiety got REALLY worried) but once they switched from watch to advisory they said it was going to be not much but to stay out of the water and away from the shores anyway.

Large earthquake on the other side of the "ring of fire" sending tsunami waves to the rest of us.  Glad we were ok in the end. 

So Much Easier On/For Me

The last few weeks of temperatures and weather have been ideal for me.  It's been sunny and beautiful but there has been a breeze most afternoons/evenings and it's been cool enough at night to sleep, most nights even with the (summer weight) duvet.  

It was warm in June and at the start of July but the rest has been really pretty perfect for me.  We don't know, of course, what August is going to bring yet, so I'm really just trying to be grateful for what we have had.  

The next few days will be warmer, and I've slept with just a sheet already the last few nights but hear that?  I slept.  I didn't lie in bed too hot to sleep, I slept.  That's amazing.  And what a difference is it making to my enjoyment of summer.   

It's Nice (So Far?)

I'm reading "To Kill A Mockingbird" right now and I'm quite enjoying it.

It was left in the giveaway spot in my apartment building and I picked it up because I've either never read it (which would be a bit surprising as I feel like I read most of the "classics" in my teens and twenties or so, but to be fair you can't read them all, right?) or had read it long enough ago that I'd forgotten it.

I'm mid way through it now and I don't think I've actually read it before which is a treat although I for sure know the names of the main characters and such.

I think I expected it to be a harder read, but it's not (to me) and I'm happy to check another classic off of my list, and to get a book for free... thanks neighbour! 

Wow. What A Shift.

I have been going to acupuncture for a long while.  Originally I was going, if I recall, for help with sleep after a boyfriend (I forget what name I called him here) suggested I try it.  And since my mental health shifted in the mid 2010s I've been going for that reason too and finding it helps a lot with calming.

As I think I mentioned, I've been struggling quite a lot recently, and the last week or so was particularly bad.  I think it was Monday that I woke up and saw some things (online) that upset me terribly.  I was not doing well.  I had my morning and did my exercise and that only helped so much.  I was really struggling quite badly.

I had acupuncture that afternoon and I explained to her that what was bothering me the most of late was my mood.  That I'd be ok or good for a while but then the sort of bread of that sandwich was me feeling really really really really terrible.

Now some people might suggest that acupuncture is bunk.  Well, I disagree.  And on Monday, how I felt and how I saw things and how I felt about those really upsetting things was night and day difference.  I got out of my appointment and literally texted someone and said "I'm over it." (The thing that I was SUPER not ok about.) I had been completely spun out and after that hour and a half I wasn't spun out at all.  I felt normal.  Like myself.  It was amazing.  

I almost always feel calmer and more relaxed after acupuncture but this was a stunningly noticeable difference.  I sent my practitioner a thank you email after.  In some ways, inside, it felt like it had saved my life.  An exaggeration perhaps, but it sure felt that different from before to after.

I'm extremely grateful for the change and relief and for modalities that work for me like this one does and did. 

A Summer Balancing Act

It's hard to not just eat up ALL the delicious local (BC) fruit but I have to sometimes remind myself not to go too wild lest my next day's digestive situation is a bit too.... unwieldy.

But man oh man do I ever want to just NOM NOM NOM it all!  (I just have first hand knowledge that I remind myself about when I want to eat it alllllllll.)