I Have Blog Posts In My Brain

And I even start to write them out in my head.  But it's not happening at the right times these days!  Which means when I have a moment to sit and write the GREAT THOUGHTS I had last night are gone bye byeeeeeee!

We've Been Lucky

It's a wildfire smoke day today.... we've been lucky to "get off easy" with this the last few years for sure.

It's a cooler day, forecasts calling for cloud cover and lower temps, which for me means windows open and getting cool air in.

But about half an hour ago (not long after ten am) the air coming in started to distinctly smell like smoke.  Campfire, wild fire smoke, to be specific.  

The "smoke forecasts" suggest this was going to happen but it's always a bummer when you notice it.

I've got my air purifiers on, but I'm wondering if I may have to close up my windows.  

I also turned off the bedroom fan that is right by the window pulling in air.  Probably not ideal to pull in unhappy air, you know?

There's talk of rain later this coming week and I hope it happens, especially where it's most needed to help with fire containment...

But yeah, I'm grateful I haven't had to deal with this for a while, while also bummed that I'm needing to deal with it today (or at all).

 

Well, That's A New One!

I'm fairly used to finding bruises, especially on my legs that I don't remember getting.  I'm pretty sure I walk in to something, say ouch and forget and then bruise.  Or... something like that.

I'm also used to finding cuts on my fingers and not having noticed the moment the paper cut it or the moment I ran it into something, I don't even know how I get most of the scrapes I find on my fingers.

But this one?  This is a first.

I was washing something yesterday and thought "wow, I got a paper cut on my thumb, go figure" and then as the day went on I thought "isn't it weird that it really burns when I run it under hot water, usually only burns do that," and then after a few times of that exact same thought I got a flashlight and actually looked at the owie and, well it is indeed a burn.  That I have no idea how I got.

Which... come on.  Burns hurt at the time of happening.  I usually will stop whatever to run it under cool water for a while.  I always notice "ouch I just burnt myself."  How did I burn my thumb and not notice!?  On what?  When?  

So yeah, that's a new one. 

And Then There Was That

Oh yeah, so we had a tsunami advisory (one level up from a watch) yesterday.

I got a little worried (my anxiety got REALLY worried) but once they switched from watch to advisory they said it was going to be not much but to stay out of the water and away from the shores anyway.

Large earthquake on the other side of the "ring of fire" sending tsunami waves to the rest of us.  Glad we were ok in the end. 

So Much Easier On/For Me

The last few weeks of temperatures and weather have been ideal for me.  It's been sunny and beautiful but there has been a breeze most afternoons/evenings and it's been cool enough at night to sleep, most nights even with the (summer weight) duvet.  

It was warm in June and at the start of July but the rest has been really pretty perfect for me.  We don't know, of course, what August is going to bring yet, so I'm really just trying to be grateful for what we have had.  

The next few days will be warmer, and I've slept with just a sheet already the last few nights but hear that?  I slept.  I didn't lie in bed too hot to sleep, I slept.  That's amazing.  And what a difference is it making to my enjoyment of summer.   

It's Nice (So Far?)

I'm reading "To Kill A Mockingbird" right now and I'm quite enjoying it.

It was left in the giveaway spot in my apartment building and I picked it up because I've either never read it (which would be a bit surprising as I feel like I read most of the "classics" in my teens and twenties or so, but to be fair you can't read them all, right?) or had read it long enough ago that I'd forgotten it.

I'm mid way through it now and I don't think I've actually read it before which is a treat although I for sure know the names of the main characters and such.

I think I expected it to be a harder read, but it's not (to me) and I'm happy to check another classic off of my list, and to get a book for free... thanks neighbour! 

Wow. What A Shift.

I have been going to acupuncture for a long while.  Originally I was going, if I recall, for help with sleep after a boyfriend (I forget what name I called him here) suggested I try it.  And since my mental health shifted in the mid 2010s I've been going for that reason too and finding it helps a lot with calming.

As I think I mentioned, I've been struggling quite a lot recently, and the last week or so was particularly bad.  I think it was Monday that I woke up and saw some things (online) that upset me terribly.  I was not doing well.  I had my morning and did my exercise and that only helped so much.  I was really struggling quite badly.

I had acupuncture that afternoon and I explained to her that what was bothering me the most of late was my mood.  That I'd be ok or good for a while but then the sort of bread of that sandwich was me feeling really really really really terrible.

Now some people might suggest that acupuncture is bunk.  Well, I disagree.  And on Monday, how I felt and how I saw things and how I felt about those really upsetting things was night and day difference.  I got out of my appointment and literally texted someone and said "I'm over it." (The thing that I was SUPER not ok about.) I had been completely spun out and after that hour and a half I wasn't spun out at all.  I felt normal.  Like myself.  It was amazing.  

I almost always feel calmer and more relaxed after acupuncture but this was a stunningly noticeable difference.  I sent my practitioner a thank you email after.  In some ways, inside, it felt like it had saved my life.  An exaggeration perhaps, but it sure felt that different from before to after.

I'm extremely grateful for the change and relief and for modalities that work for me like this one does and did. 

A Summer Balancing Act

It's hard to not just eat up ALL the delicious local (BC) fruit but I have to sometimes remind myself not to go too wild lest my next day's digestive situation is a bit too.... unwieldy.

But man oh man do I ever want to just NOM NOM NOM it all!  (I just have first hand knowledge that I remind myself about when I want to eat it alllllllll.)

Oh Man....

Not the smartest things that I said at the pool this week:

"Yeah put them in the dark black one" (to the person I'd loaned some goggles to.... note:  ALL of the bins are dark black... what I meant was the solid black, not the black ones with holes.... but yeah... sigh)

"The kiddie pool is for big guys too!" (to the 20 something guy who said to his friend "I guess we have to go in the kiddie pool".... me saying it wasn't bad per se but I realized he was a, um... a little bit chunky? and I didn't mean "big" guy as in weight, I meant "big guy" as in grown up OMG.  I tried to fumble correct myself and said yeah adults too! but yeah... I DIDN'T MEAN IT DUDE!)

Also, I didn't say this out loud, just in my head but I've been wondering at how they get the water tinted ever so slightly blue and I realized that it's the pool tiles are tinted ever so slightly blue.  Ahem.   

Maybe chlorine dulls my brain, yeah that's probably it, right?  

Sunday Night

It's around nine twenty pm as I write this and there is still light in the sky and it was cool enough this week that I didn't need my air conditioner and I could sleep with more than just a sheet on and so this was quite a good week.

Except in the ways it wasn't.  

An awful lot of dark thoughts.  Sandwiched around good happy thoughts and moments.  But really hard to deal with when they arrived.

Trying to find a balance of keeping going but allowing rest.  Groceries?  Can wait til tomorrow.... four days later still not purchased.  But I have enough food.  It's not a drastic need, just... I'm out of fruit.  In the middle of summer.  That's not a thing that should happen.  

But the energy I'm marshalling didn't get me there.  Maybe tomorrow.  Today by the time this posts.  Maybe today I'll get more fruit.  Local fruit.  In season and so much better than out.

I had a "stress" dream again yesterday.  I call them that because they don't have the fear of a nightmare but they are not restful.  This was that "we're moving to another country and need to pack" one again.  I don't quite know what it means so I don't know how to fix the dream.  It was so rough yesterday morning that I didn't want to wake up in the mood I knew it would give me.  But I did. Pushed myself awake so I'd not be sleeping in too late. 

It might be warmer again this week.  Which is a bummer.  But I did try to enjoy and be grateful for the cooler week we had.  Getting into bed at night and pulling up the duvet was lovely.  Feeling a cool breeze coming in the window was delightful.  Thinking to myself "oh my I might actually be cold?" was the best.  I was so happy in the cool.  This week will be what it will be.

I have acupuncture today.  I'll try to remember to be honest about my ups and downs and not just pretend I'm always in the decent mood I'll likely be in when I arrive.   

It's been rough.  Sometimes ok.  But often rough.  I'm trying.  

That's Shared Spaces For You!

I have a neighbour I'm friendly with (we've both been here longer than most) and she texted the other day to let me know she had found a tooth in the machine while doing her laundry!

I was really grossed out, but also kind of sad for whatever adult put a kid's tooth in a pocket and forgot about it so I wrote a note and we put the tooth on it and a few days later both were gone so hopefully the right person (or tooth fairy) got it back!

I mean, I know it's illogical to be grossed out by a tooth, especially one that's been "washed" as they're inert objects no longer attached to a body and so... harmless, and... um, clean?  But still... Gah!

The Biases We Hold

My last two doctors have been women.  (But the ones before that were men.) So I've had female doctors for a couple of decades now.

So when I say "my doctor" my brain knows I mean a woman.

So it struck me as odd when two different people assumed my doctor is a he,when I mentioned "my doctor something something."

And even more?  Both of them were women, in the health care fields.  So that old school thing of expecting a doctor to be a man (lots of reasons behind that being the norm for a long long time) is still ingrained in a lot of minds.  I know they didn't mean much by it, it's just a habit born out of what's most frequent but still... I noticed.

A Confusion

I was at my acupuncturist last week and as always she was asking questions to figure out how best to help me and my system.  (The main complaint I went in with was not being able to fall asleep... I've been sleeping terribly for about a month.)

At one point she asked me "do you sweat?" and I fully assumed she meant like hot flashes full of sweat that I understand some women get, so I said no.

"You don't sweat?"  she replied, seeming a little concerned. 

I realized I didn't really know what she was asking.  So I told her, like yes, I sweat.  But... just, like, normally?  Not.. excessively or without heat or exertion, I don't know?

Like YES I sweat but I don't OMG SWEAT?

Anyway, I'm not sure she got the answer she was looking for as I didn't really understand the question which is why I said no I don't sweat..... when probably what I meant was yes, I sweat but not more than normal.  Oops. 

Oh To Be A Bald Eagle

I heard some seagulls sounding agitated yesterday so I peered out my window only to see a bald eagle being harassed by some gulls.

I've seen this before (usually closer to a park or the ocean though) and I'm always amused at how unbothered the bald eagle seems to be.  Like they're just soaring along, barely moving their wings (sometimes not at all if they catch the air right) and the gulls are like HEY!  *ATTACK*  *DIVE BOMB* HEY! GET OUT OF HERE!  And the eagle's like... meh.... shrug.

I mean it must be kind of annoying and therefore makes them head elsewhere but it always makes me giggle a little to see.   

OOOH Boy

So I got really bitten up.  By something.

Really really hoping it was a flea, because flea bites and bed bug bites apparently look pretty similar in pattern and look?

I remember this happening before and I freaked out about maybe bed bugs so I vacuumed my mattress looking for any and washed everything.

This time?  I freaked out again, of course, but forgot to vacuum my mattress and flipped it instead.... as I washed all my bedding.  Sigh.

So flea bites are a better thing than bed bug bites and I hope whatever bit me wasn't in my house anyway (I was at Jason's a couple of days ago and we were outside for a while and then inside so..... hoping it was something there rather than something at my place?!)

Wherever it happened and whatever did it they itch like eff you see kay.  I've always had terribly itchy reactions to bites, and when I was a kid my Mom said I was "allergic" to flea bites (not sure how you know that) and so bites for me are a pretty awful thing.

The bites got really bad on Saturday and so I took some Benadryl (as well as the topical hydrocortisone) but holy cow did that ever make me like slow... not... smart.

Like I don't think I got sleepy, but I sure wasn't all there.  For example, I put my laundry in as soon as "laundry hours" started and I always set an alarm for when to go back down to put it in the dryer and when I went back down to switch it into the dryer there was someone already with their laundry in the washers, UGH!  And then it took me a minute to realize that, well, it was me.  Sigh.

Then my neighbour walked by and I wanted to ask her opinion so I said, hey, do you know bug... bed... do you know about.... bug.... do you .... hold on.  DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BUG BITES?

Sigh.  Like really really slow in the brain.

So Saturday was pretty damn itchy and miserable with added antihistamines on top of it.

I know I said this last time, there's probably even a post about it, but if I have bed bugs in my place I think I'll die (emotionally.)

Complaint

The next week is currently predicted to be warm/hot.  (Warm enough that I'll need to run the A/C and deal with fans and windows and a hot bedroom at night... sigh.)

I've not been sleeping well and a rise in heat doesn't bode well for sleeping going forward so I'm complaining about it just because, even knowing that complaining does nothing, yay!

 

Today I Learned

That some (I can only speak for the one I saw!) garbage trucks have TWO steering wheels so you can drive from either side!  Cool!

Oh And?

I also got my (second and last) shingles shot last week so that maybe was part of why I didn't think to sit down and write, I was monitoring how I felt (I did ok, phew!) and that probably took up more brainpower than I had to spare!

But yeah, if you're of whatever age that your area allows you to get the singles vaccine everyone I've talked to who has had shingles, even a mild case is like yeah get the shot.  It doesn't mean I'll never get it (knock on wood I don't) but that I'm less likely to get very sick if I do get it. 

I was really pretty scared.  Lots of people had sort of warned me that they had a really bad or really strong reaction to the shot, usually the second, so I made sure I had nothing booked and I got in enough food to make sure I didn't have to think about cooking or shopping just in case and so I was really pleasantly surprised when I didn't "get hit by a tuck" the day after or anything.

I did have the biggest reaction to a shot on the arm though.  Quite a large red spot that was warm and a bit swollen, so that shows my body was reacting to the shot which is good.  I also had a night of I'm too hot, no I'm cold, no I'm hot, but I knew what it was from so just kind of dealt with it.  So, yeah, I'm really happy to have my shingles protection done and that my reaction to both shots wasn't much more than my reaction to most shots, phew! 

Blergh

I've had a run of not sleeping which I assume is how I ended up on Monday morning without having taken the time to write posts, so um, hi.  Hope it's kind of cool weather where you are and not too icky hot!

I Know You Know

So I yelled at someone who didn't hear me the other night.

I was half asleep, trying to be fully asleep, a thing you know I value and need, quite desperately, when one of the people who live generally in my neighbourhood decided to REV their motorcycle REALLY loudly on the way down the street.   I know what the motorcycles around here sound like.  I know generally how loud they are, and this was excessively loud and on purpose.

So, I yelled.  

"SHUT UP!!!!"  

At them.  Knowing, in my head, that they didn't hear me.

But it made me feel a little tiny bit better.  

But still pretty damn annoyed.  

And yes, it was fully night time.  Not that late light dusk still light out time.  I'm talking like after 11pm kind of time.  You know, NIGHT NIGHT QUIET TIME!